You are missing out on alot due to this situation. One is why cause yourself a financial loss because an unethical caregiver wants to be paid cash? She is committing fraud, and you are involved because you know the situation.
Hiring a private person puts your parents at risk for a host of problems. She does not carry liability or workman's comp I assume? She can sue your parents if she is injured in their home, your parents have NO recourse if she causes harm to either of them.
There are tax benefits for eldercare that you and your parents are not able to access because this caregiver is directing how you do things.
She may do a decent job, but when you say you still carry a heavy load and she's there 40 hours a week, what is she doing all those hours? There are services available that would significantly improve your family situation, but you are unaware of those because a private caregiver doesn't have the knowledge to provide answers.
$2000 a month is NOT $500 a week. You should sit her down and show her how she has been overpaid and plan on deducting what she has been overpaid. My guess is she may quit at that point, so be prepared in adavance to replace her. If you had an ethical agency in place you would be able to recoup your overpayments.
I know a lot of families hire private caregiver's because they are generally less expensive than agencies, but the risks and lack of resources is not worth the cost savings. In the end it could cost so much more.
If this caregiver is unethical about her income, what other areas of her life and work is unethical? Where else is she dishonest?
I suggest contacting the VA for a list of agencies they recommend, and start interviewing. Your parents will adjust. Your parents also have the possibility of getting respite care hours paid directly throught the VA, aside from the aid and attendance pension benefit. The care will have to be through an agency that contracts with the VA, but then you and your parents will be protected, your financial worries will be over, and most likely the agency will have knowledge of resources that will help your situation.
There are medication management companies that can resolve your duty in getting meds, setting up meds, and contacting their doctors about their meds, and refills. If you email me I can give you some resources that will help with that.
Believe me when I tell you if you change this situation to agency caregiver's you will have much less stress.
I wish you and your parents well!
Angil Tarach-Ritchey RN, GCM
Visiting Angels, Ann Arbor