How can I stop my mother with dementia from handling her feces and to wash her hands?
This is a very difficult situation as you cannot expect your mother to change a life long habit when she has dementia. Give her fiber caps on a regular basis to see if that helps without having to use a laxative. I'm assuming that her diet is full of fiber that will naturally help her with elimination problems. You could see if she would get into the habit of wearing gloves whenever she goes into the bathroom. the only other way to control the hygiene is to monitor her bathroom visits so that you can make sure she washes her hands and of course keep her fingernails clean a trimmed. This might be something you can do that is a fun "beauty day" experience. Soak her hands in soapy water, clean and trim the nails, have her choose a nail polish color and compliment her choice. Then you can lotion her hands and arms. Play some soft music and make her feel as if she is in a "spa".
My sister and I are taking care of our 96 yr. old Mom.
She is NEVER constipated and I will give you the BEST advice ever!
In the morning have your Mom drink a hot lemonade with honey. And in the evening have her drink the same. If she is still constipated, make a pot of Senna Tea (only one tea bag). Be sure the tea is not too strong, (THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT) it will give her diarrhea, and you do not need this nightmare! All she needs is one cup. You may refrigerate the rest of the tea for the next day. Add honey not sugar to sweeten if desired.
Laxatives are not the answer.
I dealt w/the same issue. Still cannot get her to wash her hands after using the bathroom and what sickens ME is she goes directly from the bathroom to the refrigerator. She also has dealt w/constipation every since I can remember. This is what I have done: I add prune juice to her other juices; I also put fig bars for her to eat as a snack; she thinks she's eating a cookie; this keeps her regular; I actual do the nail night; which she loves, the only thing is I have to wait until I know she'll be open to it. I also purchase and make available: disposable hand wipes and wipes specifically for wiping down sinks, toliet, door knobs, etc. that kills germs. I put this on her food tray.
My 89yr had constipation that was giving her back pain. She also can't wipe herself properly and frequently gets poop all over her hands and the toilet seat. Her hands smell like pee a lot of the time.
I solved the constipation with one stool softener pill (not the ones the include laxative)at her breakfast. When I get her to eat right, I stop the pill. Lots of fruit helps. The one suggestion here about fig cookies and prune juice is also good.
The dirty hands also concern me. I'm afraid she will also get me sick. She get poop all over her clothes too. Wit Alzheimer's the brain just doesn't work, so reasoning, training, gloves and sanitizers in the bathroom don't work. If it wasn't a habit before, it certainly won't be learned now. She will frequently get very mad and swears I've got memory problems if I even try to suggest she is leaving poop all over herself. Even when faced with the evidence of stinky dirty hands she thinks I'm the one with the problem.
The only thing I have found that works is to follow her to the bathroom and "suggest" she use soap. This is frequently met with anger (who are you to tell me to do something I've done my whole life).
If you go to a nursing home, you will see this is somewhat normal behavior and it gets worse (playing and smearing). I have yet to see anything that works. My father (in the nursing home) used to go around with poop under his nails until we visited and did a "nail day".
I don't let my mom prepare food but she is still touching everything in the house. All I do is try try try to get her to wash frequently with soap. I am getting good at constantly changing how I approach problems. What works one day won't the next.
constipation vs behavior issue. They can't remember what they just did and become frustrated and angry with you. Have a talk with your doctor.He or she can help. Some laxatives can interfer with medications. Good luck!!
There are already several good recommendations in response to the situation you are going through, so, I wanted to bring up 2 different thoughts here. Your mother has dementia. When you say, "I tried to reason with her, explain it, etc. and she said she would never do it again. She would get up from talking with me and go do it after swearing she would never and does not do it anymore.", it says to me that you are trusting her to understand reasoning and not to lie to you. With dementia, she will promise you many things, however, that does not mean she will remember those things when it is time to. Don't take it personally. She may have the best of intentions to do what you ask, but, is truly incapable of following through. With dementia, it doesn't matter how much time has passed since you talked to her about it, whether its 10 minutes or 10 days. Her memory is like that of a child. They forget almost instantly, if not instantly. So, in this instance, you may want to treat her like you would one of your own children when they are being potty trained. You wouldn't expect them to be able do everything they need to do in the toilet correctly. Don't expect her to, either. Yes, that means that you will have to go in with her. It may be difficult at first, on both of you, but, try to stay calm and patient. Explain why you are in there with her and that you are doing it for hers and your protection. Very important to just remain calm, even when she yells. You may want to make sure there is no lock on the bathroom door that she uses, also, just in case she goes in and you haven't noticed at first. Secondly, I found in taking care of my mother-in-law that she loved her doctor and would listen to him and follow his advice, when prompted to do so. So, when she raised a fuss about anything, from taking her medicines to staying in bed because she was having a weak day, all I had to say was that her doctor wanted her to do it and she almost always accepted that. I would make it a point to talk to her doctor, in front of her, about the concerns so that she did hear it coming from him directly, at first. How is your mother's relationship with her doctor? Does she trust and like him? I would bring this topic up again at her next appointment and have him tell her in detail why she should not be doing this and what the effects are and how unfair this is to both her and you. Try not to lay blame on her about lying to you and such, especially in front of other people. That is almost always going to anger anyone, especially someone with dementia. Let her know, while your with the doctor, in a concerned, loving voice that you are trying to help her and that you need her to help you with that. Okay...I think that covers what I wanted to say. You didn't say how long you have been taking care of your mother or what stage of dementia she is in. I'm not trying to preach to you, at all. I am just giving to give you advice on what I have learned about dementia because of my mother-in-law. I hope this helps you. Please let us know. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
My mom is pretty far along with Alzheimers and I am her full time care provider. She had constipation for years and recalled having to have (digital) help from my dad even when she was in her 40s. Later, during a surgery for something else they found that her intestines were twisted and supposedly straightened that out. But, it only helped for a while.
I guess I was lucky to know this history, because when I found her getting so constipated that she would stop eating and had more memory problems than usual, I found a solution that worked for us. I donned the rubber gloves. I had been using wipes to help her clean up after BMs since it was very difficult to do a good job. I think her case worker started having them added to her order for pull ups and that made me think, hey, that is easier than paper for the kind of BM that the medicines make.
I have no problem doing this for my mother. She was very happy that I was not put off. At first it was only when she couldn't deal with it herself. Now, I assist her with every toilet trip.
Her Alzheimers/dementia has advanced so that she doesn't even feed herself. So it is a natural transition. I mentioned it to the doctor and he was alright with this. He also added Miralax, we tried the prune juice (she won't drink it even in something), she won't eat the fiber wafers and chokes on most food with any texture. So I am constantly balancing her diet and only occassionally add a laxative to her large repetoir of pills.
One thing that did come up was that the ducosate she takes twice daily could be adding to the problem since she is no longer able to sit up for longer than an hour.. several times a day. She is not active physically and she doesn't drink enough. I can't get her to drink more than a few sips with her meds. I hope this helped in some way.
My mom also has a problem with hygiene after having a bowel movement. She sometimes doesn't make it to the bathroom and goes in her underwear, then takes off the underwear and washes them in the sink, which I've told her many times not to do. So now she lies and says she washes them out in the toilet, but I can see the water mixed with feces all over my sink. It's disgusting and she doesn't wash her hands with soap, just rinses them with water. I've told her many times to put the underwear in the washer and I'd rinse it and wash it in there, but she gets mad at me and says I'm bossy.
I am so grateful for all your suggestions. I did an Internet search on this issue and at first could not find anything and thought I was alone in all of this! We are all very upset in our house by my 94-year-old mother's behavior. We find her with feces piled in her hand or on the sink and smeared all over her hands. She lies about it and makes the promises too. We have even noticed some days her breath smells just like feces. It had never occurred to me that she could be eating it but now I believe it is a real possibility. Last year she had an extended bout of diarrhea, so I threw out all the laxatives I found in her bathroom and tried different suggestions from her doctor--cutting out gluten from her diet and giving her lactose free milk. This seemed to resolve the diarrhea problem, but now we have the "other" problem. I'm not sure now which is worse. I've been giving her Citracel (another suggestion from her doctor), but I think the fact that she just won't drink much water increases her constipation. It sounds like there is a similarity here. Maybe somehow we need to increase their intake of liquids.
Well my mom has Alzheimer's and Dementia she is 76. She was dignoised in 2008 now she pee's and poop's on herself. she lives with me I'm just one of her thirteen children. I go with her to the restroom and I wipe her with warm baby wipes ( I wear gloves) and after shes finished I wash my hands and make her wash hers I tell her if i don't wear gloves and she doesn't wash her hands she will get an infection and end up in the hospital and she tells me im not going there, so she does it! She may pee and poop on herself 5 r 6 times a day! Mom will use towels r wash clothes to clean the poop off her, "Nasty" I don't get on to her I just throw them away, now I have removed them from bathroom. Don't get me wrong she slips to bathroom sometimes and swears she didn't leave that mess n bathroom! I just santitize the whole bathroom and go on!!!Hope this helpful!!!!
My mother, now deceased, had dementia or alzheimers disease. She, too, had a problem with bowel movements and cleanliness. I ensured that all of the dietary and fiber needs were addressed and learned in the process that Mirolax is a wonderful resolution. I took my mother to a gynocologist and from that physicial examination learned that she had a herniated rectum. Thus, the need and life long habit of using her fingers to press in on the side of the rectum to enable a bowel movement. The gynolcologist recommended a pessalary (spelling??) which the physician inserts into the vagina or uterus and it effectively "held" everything "up" and made her bowel movements much easier for her to manage. It necessitated a monthly visit at which time the physician removed the pessalary, cleaned it and coated it with Estrace (a hormone cream) and reinserted to help with the next months movements. She also had my mother vaginally insert Estrace cream three times a week. This hormone "plumps up" the tissues which also helps to hold the organs in place. This was a wonderful medical solution for my mother's problem. The hand washing and nail cleaning processes of course were continued. I hope that this simple piece of information helps someone struggling out there!!!
I am a full time care giver of dementia patients. I have worker with all stages of this disease and can tell you that it isn't something that they are doing purposely. I mean, they would never in their youthful mind play with feces. I do know of many people that feel that they need to disimpact themselves with their fingers that have their mind. this becomes a long standing life reality for people and they seem to just do it automatically. Getting upset with them isn't going to make it go away. If they have dementia then you can ask them to do something, or in the case not to do something and in five minutes they won't remember the conversation any way. It's very important for people with toileting issues to NEVER be left alone in the bathroom. Using wipes on their hands is a good idea, if they will allow it, but keeping the mess from happening in the first place should be the main goal. Realize that this is something that they can't help and don't understand what they are doing is wrong. if it's something that you can't handle, sad and sorry to say, you probably shouldn't be the one to care for this person anymore. You have to have alot of patience and understanding to do this work... Knowledge is the key to good caregiving.
Hello everyone, I am still a bit frustrated with the BATHROOM issues, but it is what it is. I have tried ALL the things suggested, however, eventhough my mom is coming back and forth into the last stages of Alzhemiers, she is EXTREMELY STUBBORN. The Spa day is not something she EVER did in her pass so it is not fun and causes issues, so it's something I have to push her to let me do after I've just had enough; the constipation was getting worse and worse, (Metamucil, Prune Juice, and a liquid medication prescribed by her physician and stool softners and she was still getting constipated until I finally figured out what was going on - SHE HOLDS IT. So now every weekend, I have to stick a suppository up her rectum to force her to push it out. She refuses to sit on the toliet long enough for her bowels to move; she gets up off the toliet and literally tries to walk with the pull up and pants down to keep from staying in the bathroom - I even let her keep the door open because she is in such as state of paranoia. This disease is torture from the "pit of HELL". I pray everyone who has to deal with this in ANY respect (caregiver and patient, etc.)
