My mother is becoming increasingly forgetful but won't got to the doctor, what should I do?
Your mom is perfectly normal. Her resistance is pretty much the norm. Few of us would be ready to admit that we’re experiencing cognitive decline and are no longer capable of taking care of ourselves. In this situation it will help you to try to “walk in your mother’s shoes.” She does not want to surrender to this condition and everything you’re suggesting confirms her fears. When you tell her that she should have an attendant and that she ought to see a doctor, you’re making decisions for her, which may feel like an intrusion to her. Instead, think of yourself as her “partner”. Ask her opinion and listen to her suggestions while you brainstorm on compromises, like bringing in someone to do light housework, rather than being a full time companion. The latter means she’s incapable, whereas the former means she’s still in charge. – And try to follow her lead and respect her tolerance level. If these brainstorming sessions appear stressful to her, take a break and share something pleasurable with her.
Your primary task is to keep her environment safe. Discreetly make changes to her environment where you need to for her physical safety. If you need to make major changes, do it out of her sight. No matter how much she may eventually agree with you in theory, to watch her place “taken” apart can be devastating.
It would be reassuring for you to have her see a doctor, but if it’s only to confirm her dementia, it’s not crucial; nothing will change very drastically in the next several months. It’s situation where you’ll have to pick your battles.
That's a normal for people whose memory is going down. I can only say not to make something that will depress, and stress her. To give her a companion, try visiting her with a person you trusted to take care of her without telling her that will be her caregiver. Let this person work to get close with your mother - slowly. The key is this person must be good in communication(Good caregivers will find their way as they learn more about your mother's behavior) It's like slow introduction, then adjust the time you stay with her, until such time that they can get along. I do not know how long, but i know people like your mother detest help at first but once she gets along with someone she'll not let it go and wants to have that person with her all the time.
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