How should we handle it when my mother-in-law tells us stories that are obviously hallucinations?
I always find it amusing to listen and embelish along with my mother in law. It not only makes her think we are listening, it makes her feel like we believe her. It can be embarrassing to them if you try to make them out to be liars. In her mind the story is true.
Our son talks to his Mamaw for hour s about things that are not real, it makes them closer and relieves stress. it is always better to agree and understand that sometimes things aren't just black and white. When dealing with the elderly and dementia patients you have to think outside the box. Positive reenforcement can only benefit you and the relationship you have with the patient.
Remember that every time she tells a story it is real to her. The stories should always be treated as such.
My mother's "stories" involve subject that are fightening to her. Example that people have keys to her home - they come in and go through her possessions. This makes her very angry and I am sure frightened. I tell her that I am sure she does believe this, but nobody is coming into her home as there are no extra keys. She has also stated that people are watching her from the ceiling air/heat vents. I did try to prove to her that her roof is almost flat and there is no possible way that anyone could fit. So, I do not see how I can agree to her stories or embellish upon them.
My 87 year old MIL will tell the same hallucination stories over and over several times a day and expect us to have the same impressed excited reaction each time. It is as if this is now a new memory that replays not only today but reappear later. While we know that this is the first time she remembers telling us the story today--it is in fact the 7th plus time for us. It is hard to keep faking the reaction she wants as she tells you this elaborate story that she dated the now president of the US during WWII.
I care for my 72 year old ex-husband. He thinks we are still married and thinks he plays professional football. He loves to tell everyone what a great player he is and how much he gets paid. I used to get real upset as he approached strangers with his bizarre stories but I'm learning to just let it go. After all how many 72 year old's play pro ball? Learning to choose my battles.
My almost 89 year old mother keeps worrying about her parents. There is always something bad happening to them, they are lost and can't get here, etc. Lately I have been trying to explain to her that she is dreaming but it's taking it's toll on me. I'm getting overwhelmed with trying to help her worry less about them. This morning she was about to go out the door when I heard her while still in bed (the front door is right next to my bedroom). When I asked her where she was going she said she was going outside to find out where this man was who was going to take her somewhere. She was about to go outside with her jacket over her arm into the 100-degree heat and find this man. I was able to convince her not to go outside but I'm getting to the end of my rope with these delusions of hers. How do I get her to stop worrying?
Hi Gabby Girl,
Thanks for your question! You can begin you search by taking a look at this article about dementia and hallucinations. In addition, this question about how to handle hallucinations may also be helpful.
If you have additional questions, you can start our experts a new question here.
Good luck with your search!
Jeff | Caring.com Community Team
