Should we tell my mother-in-law with Alzheimer's that we are taking her on a trip?
You sound very perceptive when you say "every time she is asked to go somewhere she refuses". Often, when you tell an Alzheimer patient about a future event or ask if they would like to go somewhere, they usually answer that way....or they suffer such anxiety that they keep asking, "Where are we going? When are we going?" repeatedly. Either they fear leaving their comfort zone or are unable to make a decision on their own behalf. There is a general fear of the unknown and their defenses are to protect themselves at all costs.
Families report that when they take the initiative and overcome a parent's resistance by either saying "we are going for a ride" or to a place that the patient is more secure with (i.e. the doctor) and then proceed to a social event, that the results are usually successful. Of course, you might hear "I want to go home now" but if you are able to distract (with a favorite food perhaps or a fun game) and delay their leaving, at least you will know your dad got a well deserved respite.
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