How do I convince my mother with dementia that her dreams aren't real?

1 answer | Last updated: Jul 12, 2011
margeryv asked...
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Caring.com User - Deborah Cooke
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Deborah Cooke is a gerontologist specializing in dementia, delirium, caregiving, and senior fitness. She is a certified dementia care provider and specialist through the...
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Deborah Cooke said...

It sounds like your mother is convinced her dream is real. Unfortunately, telling her otherwise will not help. As you can see, it's only making her angrier. When a person See also:
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develops dementia, her reality and feelings are hers, despite how crazy and frustrating it is for others. It's impossible to rationalize.

I think the best thing to do in this situation is talk with George. If he has had a friendship with your parents for a while, he can see the before and after; hopefully understanding the changes in your mother's cognitive processing and reality. I agree with your concerns about alienating him and feeling harrassed by her. This may very well be true. However, if he is a true friend, I would hope that he will be tolerant. To help with this, I encourage you two to sit down. George will appreciate that you are sensitive toward his feelings and supportive of him.

You also can work together to come up with a game plan. You need to be partners in the management of this altered reality. Strategy, although not always successful, will help you both deal with this new-found behavior. And it will require trial and error.

Hang in there and take deep breaths.

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