I have never heard of someone being kicked out of an assisted living facility simply because he or she requested changes like the ones you describe. Demanding that these changes be honored and disrupting the environment in some way to ensure that they are, is something else. Behavior like this may be construed by the facility as a breach of the contract and if this is the case, I would not be surprised if a resident was asked to leave.

To resolve this I would do two things:

1) Review the contract that was signed when your mother moved in to see if it references anything related to a resident's right to request changes. If you don’t find an explicit answer;

2) Consider contacting the facility's administrator yourself to shield your mother. Explain that your mother has made a good friend and that you’re wondering if it would be possible for the two of them to sit together at dinner. If the person seems helpful to you, mention the other two requests and see what the response is.

These changes seem minor to me and I would hope that the facility would be very willing to accommodate them. Assisted living facilities are not cheap after all. If this particular facility would prohibit a resident from making small changes that could enhance her quality of life I would seriously question whether it is worth the money.