My generally healthy (but diabetic) mother was recently told to stop driving. She wants her car back, badly.
Answers
The vision standards for driving fitness are set at the state level and vary state by state. I'd recommend checking to see what her state's regulations are. Her vision impairment may clearly place her in the "unsafe and not legal to drive" category and that will make the discussion about whether she can drive or not moot.
But her emotional reaction is normal and understandable. We don't have great options when you stop driving and I'm sure she does feel like a prisoner (or a bird with the wings clipped as another person described it). Acknowledge and honor her frustration with the situation. But then remind her that she has had to overcome other losses and setbacks over her life. She has the coping skills and support to make it. This is another challenge that will require grace to get over. Ask her to think about ways that would make her feel less dependent on others for rides (e.g., maybe a standing 4 hour block (Tuesdays 10-2) when someone will drive her places).
It can be hard to hear the frustration, pain, and maybe even fear that she feels. But talking openly and frankly will be helpful for her and your family. None of us looks forward to the day when we are dependent -- we need kindness, love, reassurance and support to navigate this new terrain.
The vision standards for driving fitness are set at the state level and vary state by state. I'd recommend checking to see what her state's regulations are. Her vision impairment may clearly place her in the "unsafe and not legal to drive" category and that will make the discussion about whether she can drive or not moot.
But her emotional reaction is normal and understandable. We don't have great options when you stop driving and I'm sure she does feel like a prisoner (or a bird with the wings clipped as another person described it). Acknowledge and honor her frustration with the situation. But then remind her that she has had to overcome other losses and setbacks over her life. She has the coping skills and support to make it. This is another challenge that will require grace to get over. Ask her to think about ways that would make her feel less dependent on others for rides (e.g., maybe a standing 4 hour block (Tuesdays 10-2) when someone will drive her places).
It can be hard to hear the frustration, pain, and maybe even fear that she feels. But talking openly and frankly will be helpful for her and your family. None of us looks forward to the day when we are dependent -- we need kindness, love, reassurance and support to navigate this new terrain.
I understand that your family is very conserned about the well bwing of your mother and will not let her drive due to her eye sight condition. First of all I don't recommended fo anyone to argue with her and to tell her she can not see very well even though it might be true, due to her mental health. My mother who has diabetes was also losing her eye sightbut a doctor recommended us to take natural supplements. So we did and now my mom can see better even though other doctors told us this problem could not be fixed. I highly recommend this. This will not also help her eye sight but her diabetec health as well as mentally. If you or anyone els has a questio on this I'd be very happy to answer any. You may contact me at 720-277-1682.
Your mother's eye doctor may have had photographs of your mother's retina taken. The doctor or his or her technician may be able to show you a photograph of a normal retina and a photograph of your mother's retina. Diabetic Retinopathy does not show on the outside so it is hard to believe how real it is, but the scar tissue and bleeding from it are easy to see once you can see inside the eye. This is not something that can be made better by any supplements. There are treatments the doctor may have done to postpone the loss of sight, but once the retina is destroyed, it cannot grow back.
