How can we help Mom stay safe in her home?
You are in a very difficult situation, but to be clear, the hospital is not the best way to assess your mother, nor are they going to be particularly good at helping keep a dementia patient safe at home. Your mother needs a complete physical exam and she will also likely need a professional assessment from a neurologist. Your mother needs a complete physical exam and she will also likely need a professional assessment from a neurologist.
Once her health status is clarified -- letting you know if there is a physical or medical reason for her behavior, you can then formulate a care plan for her. You will also learn what to expect about the characteristics of her condition. You will also learn what you need to do about home safety (no stove access for example), about providing redirection cues and reminders. This can be an overwhelming experience, so consider hiring a geriatric care manager to help put the plan in place that's best for your mother.
The GCM may suggest that you have a home care aide during during the day when no one is home with her, or perhaps suggest that she attend an adult day program. If she is with others (aide or day program), a care plan could include a toileting plan in which she was encouraged to go to the bathroom regularly, potentially supplemented by incontinence briefs. Be prepared for the possibility that the GCM may also recommend that your mother is no longer safe living in her own home -- even with help -- and may suggest assisted living, group homes with care providers, or other options that would both improve your mother's quality of life and keep her safe.
