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Can I check my mom out of the nursing home myself?

4 answers | Last updated: Oct 22, 2014
shirlie asked...

Caring.com User - Kay Paggi
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Kay Paggi, GCM, LPC, CGC, MA, is in private practice as a geriatric care manager and is on the advisory board for the Emeritus...

A decision to move a frail parent from her home into your home is one that must be made carefully with research into the needs of the parent and the See also:
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needs of your family. These needs will come into conflict when mother moves in, and you should be prepared for the inevitable.

A direct answer to your question is, No one can stop you legally from removing your mother from care in a rehab facility. You can take her AMA (against medical advice) whenever you want, or whenever she wants to leave.

A better answer is, why would you want to remove your mother from a supportive environment before she has to leave? She is now in a place where she is growing stronger and recovering from her illness, and she should take advantage of every covered day.

My suggestion is that you let your mother try returning to her home when she is discharged. If she tries to live independently and fails, she will be much more willing to relocate to your home. If you prohibit her from trying, her dependence on you will be a source of resentment.

Some rehab facilities have a trial apartment, where the patients can go through the activities they will need to be able to negotiate after discharge. Ask her rehab whether they have this set up. Your mother should be able to get herself out of bed and into the bathroom without assistance, and be able to get to the kitchen and prepare a simple meal without assistance, at the minimum. She also needs a way to call for immediate help if she falls. Since you are out of state, she needs a way to get to the grocery, pharmacy, and physician. Ask her how she plans to manage these tasks, and consider whether her plans are reasonable.

If she cannot manage independently, ask that the facility have a physician who can make a recommendation to her about planning how and where she is going to live after she leaves the facility. If the recommendation is that she cannot return to her home, it is far better that it comes from a professional than from you!


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30% helpful
An anonymous caregiver answered...

Hi I would take her home they can't stop you and if you can take care of her do it. My mom was in a NH for 2 1/2 yrs and supposed to be in one of the better ones non profit. The things I saw there people being yelled at I did report trust me people left in diapers I was there everyday. The coronor told me "they falsify records" I am not kidding she said that.

My mom couldn't feed herself and was in diapers and frail and bedridden. Like the commercial says something like eighty percent are abused. Its true. .

If at all costs get her out. Would you want to be there? I wish I could have but I'm on disability and needed help myself.

They will be nice when your there but when your gone its a different story.

Anyway no they cannot inprision your mom unless she is competent and for some reason wants to stay.

I would tell the social worker or discharge planner you want to take her home.


33% helpful
Mimimoo answered...

Go with your gut & get her out of there. I will be moving my mom ama tomorrow after the NH has given us the run around about getting her out. The xcuses have gotten lamer & lamer. My sisters & I are going with our gut on this one. Something isn't right & we are getting her out. Trust your gut on this one.


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