How can I convince Mom not to move?
Does your mom have a friend, doctor, or clergyperson that she trusts? If so, you could express your reservations to them, and ask them to discuss the matter with your mom.
You could also let her know that, since dementia is debilitating and progressive, it would be a big weight off your mind if her doctor does an evaluation to be sure she still has the skills to live independently. A cognitive evaluation along with an opinion from someone knowledgeable in this area could have a lot of impact. If it looks like she will have difficulty, that would be an argument for staying where she is. If it looks like she is still functioning well, that might allay some of your concerns, and would provide a baseline for further evaluations, to later measure if she has deteriorated.
Another idea is that you could talk with your mom and see if she has concrete, realistic plans. Is she capable of organizing herself and her things well enough to make the move? Does she understand the progressive nature of dementia and what that means in terms of her being able to live independently for any length of time? What are her plans for when she can no longer care for herself? If your mom's dementia progresses as quickly as my mom's did, it won't be long before she will not be able to carry out the tasks involved in moving to another city, and the idea could die a natural death.
Good luck and big hugs.
