Is a memory care unit or nursing home better for my mother who's in stage 6 of Alzheimer's? I am her caregiver 24/7 with Thursday off for respite care to come in. I'm trying to decide if she should be in a memory care unit or nursing home.
She's combative - at least once a week. She hallucinates and get angry every day sometimes as long as five hours or more. Angry to the point I'm afraid she will have a heart attack. The only activity she can do is fold clothes.
She sometimes doesn't know how to use utensils while eating. She refuses her medications, so I crush them up and hide them in food. Every morning there is feces on the floor in the hallway, smeared on the counter top in her bathroom or she wets herself. She gets mad when asked if we can go change clothes. She swears when she's mad and she NEVER use to swear
She's currently taking: Namenda (5 mg @ bedtime), Aricept (10mg @ bedtime), Seroquel (2 - 25 mg breakfast, lunch, dinner), Trandolapril (4 mg @ bedtime), Sertraline (50 mg @ bedtime) and Singular (10 mg @ bedtime)
I honestly thought I would be able to care for her until she passed, however, I am realizing I can't. I just want one move for her. If a memory facility is the best then, i have a place ready for her. I have learned so much from being able to take care of her. I have been blessed. She doesn't know who I am or who she is. She has a lovely home on the bay and can watch the fishing boats come in and out all day long. I hate to take that from her, but sometimes, she doesn't see them either.
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My first thought was to recommend namenda which proved to be a life-saver for us. We gave Mom her meds in her morning Ensure - smashing all but bp meds so she didn't see them. Maybe the dosage could be increased. Like your mom, Mom would have never said a dirty word but b-4 namenda, could rip Daddy & I apart like a drunkin sailor. lol She was physically fine & could get around. She never forgot Daddy & me. She called all the children Precious if/when she couldn't remember their names. Mom passed in March & Daddy right behind her. It was very difficult & other people had all kinds of solutions to "the problem" but never any time. We chose to care for Mom in her home of over 50 yrs. We had a couple grandchildren & 1 daughter who helped me & gave Daddy a break once in a while. Maybe someone could come into your mom's home to help you? She could continue to watch the beach? After your mother's passing, the memories & what YOU have done caring for your own mother is what matters! It doesn't matter what others think or what they thought. You will know in your heart that you did what was right for the woman who raised you. I can only speak for myself. I was an only child & my parents were older when I was born. We survived but it was very very difficult. I have peace of mind & self-satisfaction that my mother & father passed from their own beds in their own home. I have been blessed. I know in my heart I did what was right for us. Only you can make that decision. Take care of yourself ~
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what is a memory unit? i need to know
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A memory care home is an assisted living type of facility that specializes in caring for those with dementia or Alzheimer's disease. There are homes that will care for those suffering with behavioral issues like those written above.
Harbor House Memory Care, which is a small family owned company based in Wisconsin has been quite successful in working with behavioral issues and has developed a nationally recognized training program called "Safe Harbor" that helps team members safely and lovingly provide care through all stages and issues related to Alzheimer's disease and dementia. There website is www.myharborhouse.com if you want to learn more.
Please contact your local Alzheimer's Association and ask for help with this process. It's a free call and you will be very thankful that you did!
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At this point, no memory care facility will take her.
She is ready for a nursing home, or may end up in a geriatric psych unit. Your mother is a danger to herself and others. You have done all you can do.
If you are unsure as to how to proceed, next time she "gets angry," call 911 and report a geri-psych emergency. Paramedics will come and hospitalize her, where she will be evaluated for placement.
My heart goes out to you, but you have done all you can...
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I'm somewhat new to this process of caregiving to a family member, my Mother-In-Law. My hats off to any person that does provide the caregiving, it is hard and does test one's patience for sure. Question: What is stage 6? I have seen others list different stages on this site before and I asked our Neurologist and he had never heard of 'stages with #'s" only mild-moderate-advanced levels as a way of discription. My MIL was just put on Nameda and is on the Exlelon patch. My heart goes out to you.
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