To ALL Contributors:
Galowa here, standing by my initial response.
THE POSTER HAS CLEARLY DONE ALL SHE CAN DO...
And yes, I can tell from ONE LETTER.
Let's read with care people... and let's control ourselves when responding...
This poster's mother is CLEARLY already under the care of either a psychiatrist, neurologist or competent geriatrician, and this can be discerned by anyone who reads carefully... You can tell by the INTRICATELY SCHEDULED medication regimen her mom was on at the time of the initial post. When physicians begin administering meds, they usually start with a low strength, once or twice daily dosage. Gradually they increase the strength of medication for effect, and tinker with the SCHEDULE of administration in an effort to accommodate the needs of the patient and caregiver. The poster has a physician, and together they have DONE ALL THE RIGHT THINGS.
When I post here I try to TELL THE TRUTH. That is what I did in my first post on this thread, based on everything the poster said in her letter, and based on my own considerable personal experience. However, CAN ANYONE know EVERYTHING? Absolutely NOT.
So - LET THE FACTS SPEAK.
My mother's neurologist very recently informed me that there is no Alzheimer's "Stage 6" - or any other stage, for that matter. All there are, really, are amalgamations of symptoms. THE SYMPTOMS determine "how deeply into the disease" an Alzheimer's patient is. The "Stage Approach" is the medical community's attempt at helping families understand what even physicians still do not really know, which is - "how far gone" a patient is...
The original poster WANTED ONE MOVE FOR HER MOTHER.
That could not be assisted living, because they are not designed to keep you there "until the end." AND, even Assisted Living Facilities with "dedicated memory care units" CANNOT AND WILL NOT ACCOMMODATE A RESIDENT WHO IS "ANTI-SOCIAL." That INCLUDES combativeness, sexual impropriety, etc. This initial poster has a combative mother.
Based on HER OWN ORIGINAL STATEMENTS, the poster sought placement for a person whose symptoms she described as:
COMBATIVE regularly (at least once weekly),
HALLUCINATING DAILY for extensive periods of time, and
Responding to hallucinating with DANGEROUSLY AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOUR,
NON-COMPLIANT with respect to taking medications,
NON-COMPLIANT with respect to personal hygiene
INCAPABLE OF MANAGING HER ACTIVITIES OF DAILY LIVING
Sometimes UNABLE TO UTILIZE EATING UTENSILS
INCOMPETENT around basic hygiene - spreading feces, etc.
INCONTINENT of both bowel and bladder,
NO LONGER AWARE OF HER DAUGHTER'S IDENTITY, and
NO LONGER AWARE OF HER OWN IDENTITY...
This woman's mother NEEDS CARE SHE CAN ONLY RECEIVE in a NURSING HOME.
Her daughter can no longer do it.
And Memory Care IS NOT DESIGNED TO DO IT.
IF one is unsure how to proceed, and/or a loved one becomes dangerously unmanageable, CALLING 911 is a reasonable and CARING thing to do...
PARAMEDICS come prepared to help with what is a clearly MEDICAL EMERGENCY.
POLICE may be in the background, but where I come from, we are taught that the POLICE are there to PROTECT AND SERVE. No fear there.
Only a source of HELP WHEN NEEDED.
I DO wonder what the original poster ended up doing?
I hope she and her mom are OK.
My heart goes out to her, one way or another.
And I STILL have no doubt she HAS done all she can...