Everyone grieves differently, and you should be at great peace knowing you were able to keep your Dad's wishes in place all the way until he died. From what I have been reading, and from what I already know, we can promise one thing to our loved ones, but in the end, we just cannot always keep these promises to our loved ones. It usually is because of our own physical well-being, and that "voice" inside of us that is telling us that we need to get more rest, or whatever the case may be. God Bless you for being able to carry your Dad's wishes all the way through to the end, and also making it sound like such an honor to be able to care for him! Please give yourself plenty of time to grieve now. You not only have earned this, you owe it to yourself! Someday, you will be able to change his room back into your grandchildren's toy room, but in the meantime, and for as long as it takes, just take things one day at a time. I take care of my twin grandchildren, ages 3-1/2 years old, and I was the main caregiver for my mother-in-law, age 79, for about the past 4 years, but we did have to make the choice of placing her in a wonderful nursing home this past April, 2010. I did have to cut down the hours I could care for our 2 beautiful grandchildren, so I could spend more time with my MIL, while she is nearing the end of her life. I know when she is gone, I too will have a very hard time filling that void in my life, because I had been the one that would go to her apartment several times a week, lots of sleepovers too, and then came the realization that she could no longer care for herself, and I was becoming just way too runned down, and I knew it!!! She has 3 grown children, and one being my husband for the past 36 years! My husband, and his sister live here in town, and the other son lives in Texas and is a registered nurse! He is coming up for only the 2nd time this year this coming Tuesday, but he too has a busy schedule. Her children here just don't help very much at all, and I know my husband figures that I am covering for him. Her daughter says, "That's not my mother laying there!" Well, then who's Mother is it? She never really helped though, even before the Dementia and Alzheimer's set in. My own mother died when I was only 11, and I have always been close to my MIL, so with that being said, she has always been like a mother to me, and I too feel honored to go and be with her, and stay overnight at least 4-5 nights a week at the nursing home. Many nights she tells me to lay with her, but then I try to sneak out, and just lay back in the recliner next to her bed, so she can sleep more soundly. It is a comfort to her to have someone close. She tells me that she is not afraid to die, and I do play her favorite music softly in the background, and I bring her tiny little bowls of vanilla ice cream, because that is what she likes the most, and I feed it to her. I comb her hair softly and I scratch her thin frame of 100 pounds, softly on her back, and that is probably her favorite past-time right now. She lays her head on my shoulder, and it is just as heart-warming as holding our beautiful grandchildren!!! God Bless Us All!!!