How Do I Lessen Embarrassment for an Incontinent Person?
The best response is to show no embarrassment yourself. A direct, matter-of-fact attitude helps the person save face and helps you both deal with the situation rather than focusing on the feelings around it.
That's not to say you should ignore the feelings. Simply acknowledge them with empathy and move on: "I see you wet yourself. It happens, sometimes. In fact, it happens to a lot of people when their bladder starts to work differently. Not a big deal -- here, let me help you." Or for repeated accidents: "Oh, Mom, I know you're frustrated. You've been having a lot of problems. Would you like to go to the doctor to see if there's some medicine or something that can help?"
If humor is a style that works for you both, this can be a good opportunity to use a little of it: "Well, I guess now you can be like those glamorous ladies on the TV commercials who are advertising all those protection products!"
What if you can't help it -- you are embarrassed? Don't try to hide it. Admit it (but do so with sensitivity): "Well, I'm not sure what to say. I know you don't like me talking to you about something so private." Many older people are very good at tuning in to your real feelings and appreciate your being direct about them.
i am a rep. with health first technology.we have one of the best-- diagnostic,and treatment protocal for incontinence,muscle re-education relaxation of muscle spasms,increase local blood circulationi.I would like----- to send you some of the work that is being done around the country. in the treatment of diabetic/neuropathy,and treatment stroke patients. with several treatments,we can returned the feeling to the lower part of the body for maloe,and females. give me a call or e-male me. a.s.a.p. Elliott phone. 770-885-9741 wynnfamily3@bellsouth.net
I PERSONALLY FIND IT EASIER TO TRY AND MAKE LITE OF THE SITUATION AND LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE FOR ANYTHING!!WHEN IT DOES OCCUR I JUST TELL MY HONEY IF IT'S NUMBER TWO IT'S GONNA COST YOU, I TELL HER I WEIGH IT AND ADD IT TO THE COMPOST PILE IN THE BACKYARD. AND BEFORE SHE LEAVE'S ME TO JOIN OUR MAKER SHE HAS TO COME UP WITH THE MONEY. ALOT OF PEOPLE FIND THAT PART OF CAREGIVING PRETTY NASTY, MAY I SUGGEST TO THOSE STICK A LITTLE VICKS VAPO RUB IN THE NOSE
Check out Health Care Technology on the internet. A site titled RipOff has a piece on a company by that name, that has scammed people. I hope this is not truly the case with the co. Of concern, misspelled items in the comment: circulation and male. . .the need to contact asap. . . just an observation.
I like the sense of humor angle. When I keep an up attitude, he goes along with the problem easier. I hadn't really heard "why?" the incontinence. So its a weakening of muscles?
Hi Kathleen.j,
There are many causes of incontinence. If you'd like to learn about some of the causes for urinary incontinence, take a look at this Ask & Answer page: http://www.caring.com/questions/what-cause-urinary-incontinence.
If you still have questions about incontinence, you can post your very own Ask & Answer questions, here: http://www.caring.com/ask.
I hope that helps, take care!
Emily | Community Manager
Don't forget the non-age related reasons. My mom has used depends for a long time, and usually manages to not wet the bed or clothing. This past week she had 2 big accidents and was having to go to the bathroom every hour. Seeing her doctor on an unrelated matter they did a urine test and she had a UTI not sensitive to the antibiotic she was on for a respiratory infection. I guess the lesson is if a previously stable level of incontinence suddenly worsens consider having them checked.
