Hi I am finding similar concerns. I have not been able to exersize (not that I got a lot to start with, but absolutely none now), go to the movies when I want to, or even get my nails done occasionally. These are things I used to do to relax/treat myself. I recently had a panic attack in my sleep, and my doctor felt I had too much going on and needed some help. He put me on a mild anti-depressant and suggested that since my mother is able to stay by herself for blocks of time, that I carve out 2 hours on the weekend where I go for a walk or movie or do something without her. I am already paying someone to stay with her 2 afternoons a week while I'm at work so she has someone to be with besides me which is a great help, altho expensive. So he thought perhaps I might consider adding a few hours with her caregiver on the weekends if I can, or switching some of the weekday hours to the occasional weekend so I can do things at home and the caregiver can take her out. I'm going to look into this, because as much as I love my mother and enjoy her company, we both need a break. We are both new to this community also(I moved here less than a year ago for a job) so it is all new which means neither of us have a big support network. I am one of two children, and my brother does little or nothing to help. The reality is I have little time for myself, but if something happens to me, then what happens to her? I think this is something you have to live to truly understand which is why many siblings who aren't involved don't seem to understand the needs of the caregiver.

I was saying I don't have time to take care of myself. I used to exercise in the mornings, yoga or weight lifting but it has gone by the way side in the last 3 years, my mom fell and broke him hip two years ago and lives with us now. However, I stood up yesterday to walk into my bosses office and it felt like someone had stabbed me in my left buttock. I knew my back & neck were getting sore but I could hardly walk yesterday. I had a talk with my husband and mother. I need 30 minutes in the morning to do my yoga uninterrupted. I get up at 5:30 and start breakfast every day. Mom gets up same time but it takes her 1/2 hr to toilet and dress herself, I asked her to wait until I called her to come to breakfast and my husband and the 2 dogs who get up anywhere from 5:30-6:30 I asked him to stay in bed until 6:00 as well. I love my mom, when I told her I was having back problems she said I wasn't to lift her anymore, that she would use her bedside commode, bless her. She tries to stay as independent as possible.

I would suggest using a destressing yoga dvd. Let your husband know you need these 30 minutes to yourself each night after work. I don't want to reccomend a specific dvd because I don't want this to sound like an ad. Not only will it allow you to let go of the stresses from work and focus on family, you may find some of the chronic pain lessening allowing you to sleep better at night.

I really shouldn't be talking - but all the advice in the world will do you no good unless you actually take the time and do something for yourself to relieve the stress. Look at your schedule and "carve out" a little bit of time several times a week for YOU. Let the other family members know WHY you are doing this (in advance), so if they ask for any type of help during these times, you can let them know that this is your "self" time, and to call later. Hope this helps.

Yes, you just have to schedule in "me time" when you can. Once you're into a routine....it ends up better for all involved!

I'm in similar situation. It's hard to explain that you need "alone" time after work, etc. I find it easier to just find the time when he's sleeping, or make time for myself. You just have to tell it like it is...either he gets it, or not. I think, in my case, he saw my better moods/spirits afterward. It's hard to enjoy this time, at first, but....it's healthy. The insomnia....I've had since age 9. Meds, & schedule only things that helped. Yes, when you know you have to wake next day...it's worse. I work 2nd shift now, & it helps w/ both issues!