How do I stop my mom with Alzheimer's from handling her waste?
Many families give up caring for their loved ones at home the day they are faced with incontinence. You have gone way beyond that. You have a wonderful family; my hat off to both you and your husband.
One of the side-effects of Alzheimer’s medication is constipation and I’m guessing that you were not warned of that when your mother first started on them, so you could have taken precautions with stool softeners from the start.
There may be a couple of different factors at play here: Your mother has gotten used to not feeling “finished” with a bowel movement unless she engages in this ritual. I’m also wondering if her manipulation has actually affected her sphincter muscle and she’s no longer able to control her elimination. I suggest you take her to a specialist. She may also have developed hemorrhoids, which could make elimination difficult and painful.
In the meantime you can get her into special outfits that close in the back, making it difficult to impossible for her to disrobe herself. Go to a search engine and look up “specialty clothing.” Or you can create your own: Double-stitch a pair of slacks or sweat bottoms to a top. Stitch closed any front or side openings. Lastly, attach a long zipper in the back, from a few inches below the waist to the nape of the neck. You can do this with day clothes as well as pajamas.
When this happens in public, remember that people who are glaring, sneering etc are ignorant and rude. As your mother’s advocate you can be quite forceful and tell them you’re sorry about the inconvenience but your mother can’t help it because of her dementia. It’s a condition that can happen to anyone of us.
