How can we can help my dad deal with the caregiving of our overbearing mom?


I need advice on our ‘worst nightmare’. My Dad had a stroke last month, is doing well with rehab and is improving slowly in a nursing home. He was also my Mom’s caregiver. Unfortunately my Dad always gave in to Mom and he was treated like a slave by her. Dad’s created a monster. She is now doing the same thing to my Brother who came to take care of her while the family figures out the next step.My mom refuses to ‘get on board’ and be part of the solution. It’s all about her. She has some dementia problems. I live 3000 miles away. My Sister lives in the same town as them and is doing her part helping Dad and the Medicare paperwork and such. The problem is my Brother (and sister) can’t take it anymore and the situation with her prohibits Dad doing any recovery at home. No one can deal with Mom or wants to now. No one wants to be around her or even call her. We all are concerned with Dad’s recovery, and he knows exactly what’s going on at home, but no one talks about ‘the monster’. I feel it’s time for him to step in and tell his wife of over 60 years to ‘knock it off’ and cooperate or she’s off to a nursing home by herself. It's probably the first time in his life to do this. I believe he wants us to make this decision for him. Doesn’t he have a part in this? His mind is fine. Any advice would be appreciated.

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