I live in a very conflicted household. My father has left and now comes by every few months and, in general, after a few nights is in a fight and either he leaves or things become violent and we have to ask him to leave. In general he does not communicate and we rarely meet. Sometimes he answers when we call for basic things like bills or supermarket money. Other times he dismisses us. It has happened many times that even school payments were missed and we almost lost our home a while back. My mother has a strong character and is not passive in fights. But he overpowers her. She has been depressed most of my childhood and I can now no longer remember her true personality. For over three years now she has become aggressive. She lately threatens to leave us, says she has no children and that we are the reason she did not have a life. She orders, never asks. And she is so focused on getting Dad to do what is needed or apologize for his insults that she could fight us and humiliate us in public, force us to say whatever she wants to him, or go search for him sometimes several times a day. Doctors, schools, even basic household stuff - we deal with all this alone, as best we can, most of the time. I must say that between her threats and her health setbacks because of being nervous constantly, I am fearful. I also cannot object and end up having my life directed by her. I cannot remember a time where I made my own decision. She considers objecting or even defending ourselves when she accuses wrongly to be turning against her. We have tried our best, as we are three sisters, to take care of each other, but right now I feel so worn out. What do you suggest to get her to her normal state? Being so aggressive makes me forget she is my mom lately, the same woman I fought to keep safe from violence for many years. Sometimes I feel I am nearly getting violent myself and I just want to tell her to stop being so self-concerned and stop destroying us unwillingly. Please help with any advice