I have an issue with a family member. She is in her mid 40's and is causing lots of family worry and friction. She says she has cancer and is taking "treatments" at the local hospital, but her children and husband don't seem overly concerned. She won't let anyone go with her to the treatments, which she has weekly, and she is vague about the type of cancer she has. She claims she is sickly and makes a great show out of getting sick and being unable to eat, but she hasn't lost weight and she has been spotted eating large meals when she's alone. Recently she has announced that she also has found a lump in her breast and is told she has cancer there too. No surgery, no invasive tests have lead to this diagnosis, nothing.
The problem is she is worrying her parents and her siblings are all at odds with the parents because they don't believe her. I just need someone to tell me that this type of cancer is possible - one with no real symptoms. She also claims no one is allowed on the floor of the hospital where she has her "chemo treatments".
Please help me understand all this. Is there a form of chemo that is given weekly, that is so dangerous that no one can be on that floor with a patient, that will also treat an additional cancer such as breast cancer without any invasive procedures? She is telling everyone who will listen in her hometown how ill she is - is it possible she is?
Answer
Insist the person receives a second opinion from a doctor. Seek support yourself to educate caring, loving others who are possibly duped. Skepticism is called for (not cynicism). Bring it to a head and call her bluff. It is likely to be a game and you need to break it up by refusing to dance the complementary steps. She may or may not have cancer but her approach is counter-productive, she needs psychotherapeutic attention. Some mentally ill as well as physically sick people can only be helped by force. I know this is controversial but let's give political correctness and other games a miss like civil rights caper. No one has any right to became and remain sick. The family better speak with one voice. WE don't do things if not forced to or have no pay-offs. pay-offs either healthy or sick. Harsh words? Some people baulk and cowardly to do what is necessary out of love and caring despite drawing fire and opposition. I was severely criticised once by the chief psychiatrist and 3 times later over 8 years by the person whose life I saved 3 times from succeeding to commit suicide. How did I dare to interfere?! The person lives still and 30 years later moved to another state and avoids contact. Sometimes we can not be "nice" to people in need but we can be GOOD albeit unpopular. Good luck and be well!
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