Should I Mom remain home with a caregiver, or move to a newer place with a caregiver?

A fellow caregiver asked...

I am trying to decide if my mother should remain in the homeplace with a caregiver or move to a newer place with a caregiver. The current homeplace is in need of a lot of work, but she has expressed a desire to stay there. She does not want to move. Whenever she goes anywhere, she gets very irated about returning home. We can assist her room by room with minor repairs, but this could take some time. The caregiver does not stay with her, but she comes by on a designated day to stay with her. Currently, the son stays in the homplace with her, but she needs the female help to assist with personal hygenie and etc.,

Expert Answer

Kay Paggi, GCM, LPC, CGC, MA, is in private practice as a geriatric care manager and is on the advisory board for the Emeritus Program at Richland College. She has worked with seniors for nearly 20 years as a licensed professional counselor, certified gerontological counselor, and certified geriatric care manager.

It sounds like your mother has a mild dementia. If so, she will feel safer in her familiar environment, no matter its condition. It is then up to you to determine whether she lives in a safe place or not. If she has any dementia, it is progressive, and she will need more care as time goes on.

My advice is to relocate her as soon as possible into a situation will she will have 24/7 access to care. It is never a wise idea to leave an elder at home alone during the work day. Day care is good, assisted living is better. If there is a relative who works from home who can be available to provide care and attention all day and on weekends, that will suffice. Most families do not have that luxury.

The best time to relocate her is ASAP. The sooner she moves, the better able she will be to adjust to a new environment. Hopefully she will never have to move again, and she will become familiar with the new place and its caregivers and residents.