This is my first post, but my heart went out to you. I was in your shoes last year and I can still feel the pain of what you are going through. My father passed away unexpectedly last year after caring for my mother with moderate Alzheimer's in their home. They lived in Texas, I live in Tennessee. I had to move my mother to an Assisted Living facility in TN, she can still "function" some on her own so isn't on the Alzheimer's floor yet. I had to sell their home and most of the furnishings in it as I couldn't get a truck and move things to TN, nor would there be room. I had to make the decision on what she could keep and take with us withought being able to ask for her input. We really coudln't tell her we were moving her to TN for good, we told her to "try it out for the summer". The guilt I experienced was gut wrenching as I felt I was taking away the past 30 years of her happy life in TX. One of the smarter things I did was call the Alzheimer's Association to get help. They told me that my mother was incapable of making decision, and I had to make them, regardless of how hard. So I set my main goal - taking care of my mother. That was first. Then I made a list of things "in the way of doing that", one being the house and furnishings. I couldn't take care of a house in TX (or close by for that matter), and be there to care for my mother. There was no question the house needed to go, but I still felt tremendous guilt. I worried what to say if my mother asked. After over a year she has never asked about the house specifically, but has insisted about going back to Texas. I tell her how nice it would be if we could push the clock back and go to the time when Dad was still there. But unfortunately it wouldn't be the same. I try to redirect the conversation empathizing her her current situation about how difficult it must be to have made the changes, but how much better it is that she is safe and how proud I am of her for dealing with things like she is. I try go keep her encouraged and try to move the conversation away from the house. Though this is a constant conversation as she doesn't remember from one time to the next, one time she did acknowledge she couldn't live by herself. Other times she says she wants a place of her own. But she has never specifically asked about the house. I know you don't want to lie - I was raised the same. But one of the books I've read talks about "emotional truths". You tell them what you think they can handle. I've stretched the truth on many occaisions. Most of the time when things get rough I try to acknowledge her feelings and redirect with something positive about her. It does seem to help. I have a long way to go and am taking it day by day. My mother too is 80, but other than Alzheimer's is in excellent health.
Good luck - I really don't think she will specifically ask about the house, but she will probably talk about wanting to go home. My mother has even mentioned going back to Michigan, which she hasn't lived for probably 50 years.
Trying to make it!