How do I get my father to bathe when he refuses to do anything but just wash off?
Many elderly people become reluctant to bathe, and there are various reasons for this. It may be balance problems, causing a fear of falling; discomfort with temperature changes, the cool or heat of a bath/shower water; modesty (especially if they need help bathing); or body pain associated with standing, bending, or sitting. People with Alzheimer's or dementia can fear water, and be irritated by its sound.
I would try talking to your dad to see if you can get a little more information about why he doesn't want to bathe. Ask him specifically if he feels unstable, chilled, or in pain. There are bathing techniques for people with all of these issues, but the topic is sensitive as it indicates a significant loss of independence. This article on bathing your dad elaborates, with helpful suggestions.
I would also talk to your dad's doctor about his reluctance to bathing. A check-up may be a good idea. His doctor can help rule in, or out, medical explanations. Meanwhile, there's nothing really wrong with your dad bathing by hand-washing, as long as he's cleaning all of his body folds, and private areas. This is where bacteria lingers which can cause odors. But a full bath once a week (or so) is a good idea, so you're doing the right thing by getting more information.
I get quite a few questions on bathing and the answers may help you. Here's one from a woman having a similar problem with her mother. Here's more advice on dealing with bathing resistance, and here's one on why bathing regularly is necessary. I hope they help.
You have not identified the problem, Does he smell? If he washes off thoroughly and changes clothes regularly why make a major issue of it.If he smells or isn't getting clean you may need to tell him and provide a anti-bacterial soap perhaps. The elderly have very dry skin. He should not bath very often. Two or three times a week unless working. You do need to know why he is not bathing. Can he stand for long period? an he get in and out of the tub easily? He will bath if doing so makes him feel better. Apparently it doesn't. Many elderly find it almost impossible to get in and out of a tub or stand safely in a shower and are embarrassed to admit this. Provide the tub with seat and a hand held shower hose that is easy to turn on and off and that allows him to sit down while showering. Have rails installed for ease in getting up safely and for balancing. Be sure the room is adequately heated. Dad will likely bath once its easy for him to do so safely and comfortably.
I can totally identify with u! All of the above issues have already been addressed, at least in our case! The ONLY reason left for my dad, is that he just does not want to bathe! He just plain does not feel like it & furthermore he really could not care less...it is just way too much of a hassle (it just takes way too much effort)!
I really have a time getting Ron to take a shower. If he gets inn the tub for a bath, he cannot get out. My caregiver can't do it alone and I have a bad back and can't lift on him. So my only alternative is to call a neighbor, so try to bathe him when he is home if he wants in the tub. thank god for friends, my two neighbors are GREAT.
My 99 yr old father was born in a third-world country. He thinks that I am "fussy" when I suggest he bathe. Since he is of sound mind and still capable, I have no way to get him in the shower. He came to live with us in 2008 when my step-mother had a stroke - she died a few months later. I had a screaming fight with him to get him to shower for her funeral - and he has not been in a shower since. He washes off at the sink, and he smells like an unused closet. We just shrug and let it be. My cousins, who still live in the cottage where my father grew up (in that third world country) just had a shower and tub installed this spring, and they managed fine all these years. So, I tell myself that most of the world does not wash, just let it go. No sense in getting crazy , it's a losing battle.
Serenity now!!
