I have all sorts of depressing thoughts every day I cannot face a meal I have no appetite I dont want a to make a journey I dont want to do the every day jobs,but I just take a mouth full of food and continue till the meal is all finished,just get in the car and start the journey and it is soon over. I,just start the job and it is soon done.I always expect a disaster to happen (sort of panic attacks )I never lose these feeling.but have got used to ignoring them. keep them on the surface do not let these feelings settle they will drag you down . I have great highs.which are enjoyable A beautiful flower ,meeting happy people.everything or anything that lifts your spirts helps. Once you fall into pit of despair it is hard to get out. I some times wake up feeling like a zombie I found if I go into doing everything in slow motion mode helpsyou to relax and recover .In fact I beleive all depression is about stress if you can relax you have the battle half won,the other half is reviving your soul or spirituality the love of life.You can be alive yet still dead without the ability to enjoy life.7 years ago I was told I had untreatable cancer ( After two years, I had not succumbed they changed their minds) I went out and bought a small dog and two Zebra Finches,My they do have lots of life,they are still going at it now.demanding attention,those about to die,surround yourself with life,it seemed to work for me.If you allow your self become a martyr you will die you must retain some selfishness or you lose your self..

It can be difficult to tell the difference. If you recover and feel basically good when you are not caregiving than it's probably burn out rather than depression. Giving too much of ourselves in caregiving doesn't help anyone most especially the caregiver. Resentment starts and then you can't really care with an open heart. Everyone loses.

Taking care of yourself and your needs is essential. If you are caring for yourself and tending to your needs you will be happier and a better caretaker. No matter how much you want to be a good caregiver you just can't do it all, all the time. You do what you can within reason and this can stop the burnout.

If you're feeling depressed all the time it may be that you are giving too much of yourself and therefore, depleting yourself and/or you really are depressed.

I recently asked my doctor the same question and was prepared to go on anti-depressants. I was in the midst of deciding whether or not to bring my mother home from rehab or put her in a nursing home. He said it was irrational to think about bringing her home and irrational thoughts are a symptom of depression however my depression was situational. Perhaps anti-depressants would ease my pain but so might time so why risk the side effects of meds unless the symptoms persist.. Just hearing this from a trusted doctor who really knows me was enough to straighten out my thinking. I decided that putting mom in a home was in her best interests as well as mine. Although I'm not exactly jumping with joy, the depression has yielded to appropriate sadness. I can sleep at night, the anxiety has lessened, I can function at work and I've been enjoying being with friends.

I don't think there is a difference, frankly. Get some support, get some help. Go to an elder care support group or a senior center. That's a great place to start.

Christine Axsmith, Esq.

www.Axsmith.net

Yes my Mother who was schizophrenic had to go in home she needed day and night supervision.she was happy in the home all family members could visit her ,problem solved.

I have a husband w/ Schizophrenia/ETOH dep., too. Also, I work in a locked Psych. facility. I have had "caregiver" burn-out/Depression sx's. for yrs. I recently, had to make a difficult decision. I had to ask my husband to move out, & find his own place to live due to relapse on booze/ciggs along w/ other on-going issues. I still worry, but, it HAD to be done. I'm still his primary support system, but, it's helping him become more independent, & take some ownership of his issues. It's hard, but, I've been able to have more contact w/ my own family/friends alone. A lot of stress has been lifted. Of course, sadness too. It's hard. I was labeled a co-dependent. I had to do this.

I've been feeling overwhelmed with taking care of my 92 year old mother and feeling not only depressed but resentful because she's constantly needing something and wants to go with me on weekends to an activity that I want to be with my friends. I feel guilty at times, because my therapist keeps telling me she's not going to live that long.

I excuse myself when I remember to do so and try not to feel guilty because she had a good life and a long marriage to a good man. I've never been married and have lived with my parents most of my life and took care of my father when my mother took a part-time job when he retired and he didn't want her to go to work. I lost out on the best dating years taking care of my father, so I justify myself, saying, I'm not giving 100% to take care of the other parent, who always took care of her needs over everyone elses needs.