I can't stop grieving; what can I do?

It has been five years since my father passed away, but to me it still seems like five months, or less. He passed on July 21 and still I hate that date as my birthday also falls on the 21st. It just seems so unreal. I can't even remember the burial except for seeing his emerald green casket being carried to the grave site. I have tried counseling but can't seem to open up completely. Any suggestions?