My father has mild Parkinson's and is forgetful. He is also very proud and stubborn. How can I approach him about giving up driving without angering him? Much change has occured in recent months which included giving up a lot of control, so he is very sensitive.
Expert Answer by Elizabeth Dugan
It's time to work closely with your father's health care providers. Driving requires the ability to see, think, and move. Parkinson's symptoms and treatments may impair driving fitness and it sounds like your father has both cognitive and motor skill issues.
Get to know your father's health care providers and explain the situation to them. During his next appointment the healthcare provider could raise the issue. You can be a resource to help your father deal with limits or cessation of driving.
The last chapters of life can be tough for the older person and his loved ones, but your father's pride and strength may actually help him to face and adapt to these unwanted challenges. Let him know you are on his side and proud of the many changes he has faced in the past. Making a change in driving isn't easy, but knowing he has your love and support will help make a bad situation better.
Answer
In addition to suggestions that have health care providers being the "bad guy," (which is good), there are programs in some cities (like Boston) where free, or low-cost driving tests are offered for elders, and the health care people care refer her father to them. Also, if she's in a small town the local police might be able to help by talking with her father in a friendly way about his driving and if necessary, ask him to "hang it up."
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