How can I convince my father to have coronary bypass surgery?
It’s understandable that you want your father to have the surgery. Bypass surgery can definitely extend the lives of some patients with heart disease. However, surgery also has its own dangers, so patients must weigh the risks and benefits for themselves. If your father says he'll never be the same person, he probably won't be. People who go through this kind of procedure really do need to believe that the surgery will help.
You could try helping your father get more information about the operation, or have him talk to other patients who have had bypass surgery. However, I don't think your father should have a bypass just because his family thinks he should. I don't know the details of your father's heart disease, but some patients can live a long time with very bad hearts. Having a bypass is a big risk, and cognitive changes can occur after surgery. If your father really feels that he doesn't want the operation, it's his decision.
Please get a copy of "The RAVE diet and Life Style" by Michael Anderson (Google it) The best one liner on the DVD is by a Dr and the Mayo Clinic who told by his colleges that he had to go for heart surgery IMEDIATELY or die, " It is against my religion" What is your Religion? "I am a devout coward" Your Father is correct. Get him this and watch him recover in a month.
Donald Sheldon
I have had a triple bypass and feel much better than before. I can Breath better and do things without becoming short of breath.
It is highly unlikely the doctors advising surgery and highligting the urgency are doing it for monetary gain for themselves or their prestige enhancement. You need support to be assertive and get your father professional advice/support to find out what else he fears and educate him to risks but against negative expectations of outcomes. Some people die in such situation after or during surgery who expected the worst. There are good studies evidencing that. The approach you want to take with him is using the "I statements". You say you are concerned, worried, that he may risk worst then the risks of surgery if he decide against it. Ask how can he help you not to feel this way and the frustration you feel he does not take the chance to be better and extend his life you very much want him to. He may came up with excuses instead of good reasons to consider. It is impossible for you to accept his refusal without both of you also knowing the risk assessment. Gaining an educated heart will make it bit easier. Your dad I dare-say need spiritual support and education urgently too. It is often fear of death (realistic) and other concerns they don't talk about. Expressing your love and concern for him focusing "it is your problem" (not his) it is harder for him to sidestep. If all fails you need maximum support for your dealing with his reluctance and possible adverse outcome. Some of the reasons for his objections can be valid. But the objections need to be put on the table. May your God go with you! Be well!
I'm 70 and had a triple bypass 5 years ago. Piece of cake! I went to sleep and then woke up again- all done! I've been fine since, and a walk and jog 2 miles / day. I also play the trumpet in 3 bands, and have NEVER had any problem or complications;.
don't put it off., DO IT! Trust me: It's OK and it WORKS. I'm not disabled and still kickin but at 71!
