I took care of both my father and my mother with the help of hospice. I'm a complete chicken when it comes to anything medical, and would never have made it without hospice.
When the hospice nurse explained how the body starts shutting down towards the end of a terminal illness, I had to put my head down on my knees to keep from fainting.
My mother, however, chose to decline food and water. I had an extremely hard time with her decision. It just seemed wrong to me at every level. However, she asked me to support her, and let her die peacefully at home. So I agreed.
She stopped eating anything at all, and her nausea went away, and her stomach quit hurting. She didn't drink water, although I got a little spray bottle at the drug store and sprayed her mouth and lips frequently. During this time, she did get drops by mouth of a pain killer, so she felt fine. She even went out and planted bulbs for spring, and gardened.
It took 16 days before she died, peacefully in the evening. It was not awful at all, in fact, those last days were very pleasant.
I do think each patient and family should make their own choices, and certainly feel free to change them at anytime should the patient become uncomfortable.
Good luck and hugs to anyone here going through this experience.