An anonymous caregiver asked...
Three months ago I gave up my job in the Midwest and moved to California to look after my parents, who are in their late 80s. My mother has Alzheimer's, and my father was recently diagnosed with diabetes. They are also hoarders, which was the primary reason for my coming out here. When I arrived, my parents' house was crammed with broken furniture, old magazines and newspapers, spoiled food, and unused clothing. You couldn't walk through the living room, and the back door was hidden behind piles of trash. The only clear space was a trail that led from the bedroom to the kitchen and the bathroom. The backyard was in similar condition, and the neighbors were threatening to call the city if the place wasn't cleaned up. My brother and I rented a dumpster and spent a week hauling out the junk. I spent over a month sorting through old papers, and another month just cleaning the place of dust, cobwebs, mold and mice feces. The house now looks decent enough that relatives and my parents' friends are stopping by to visit.
However, the house itself is in bad shape and needs to be fixed up. My father however, refuses to spend the money to do even basic tasks like painting, though there are some major problems such as a rotting floor in the kitchen and mildew in the bathroom caused by poor ventilation. I don't have the funds myself, as I am living on a pension, and my brother is reluctant to put any more money into our parents' house, remarking that it's almost as if Dad enjoys living in squalor. (I might add, we have a younger sister who refuses to help us and has cut off all contact with us. Threatening and pleading with her has not persuaded her at all.) We can't sell the house as it is, and I doubt if my father would want to sell it anyway. Short of taking my parents to court and having them declared incompetent, is there anything I can do now?
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