Has anyone had experience with a loved one that has had strokes?

Hello, In 2009 my mother had a stroke that effected her memory and her speech. At the time she was already in a nursing home due to her dementia and she can't do anything without assistance. Before the stroke she had a few mini strokes, but she was alert and would talk and carry on a conversation and loved her "calories" as she called them. After the stroke in 09 she wouldn't hardly say anything, she went thru therapy, and we (the family) got her to saying "yes", "no", "I don't know" and "I love you", but that was pretty much it. She still loved to eat her calories, so we found joy in watching her eat since she couldn't talk much. In December of 2011 she had another stroke and it effected her strength and unfortunetly her swallowing. She was in the hospital for about a month, and you couldn't hardly even touch her without her crying. The family had to choose if we wanted a peg tube or to call hospice in. I am from a big family, so of course we couldn't all agree on what to do, so long story short we did decided to go with the peg tube. She is in a different nursing home now because the one she was in before her last stroke was abusing her, she had a sore on her leg that no one knew how it got there. She has went thru therapy and restoritive therapy, but at this time she is in a jerry chair instead of her wheel chair because her legs stay so stiff. She can't speak at all or swallow. She has failed several swallowing tests. So now my visits with my mother is just me talking to her and cleaning her nails and painting them. I can get her to smile sometimes and sometimes even laugh, although no sound comes out, you can see the twinkle in her eye. Sometimes, my visits are rough, she just cries for no reason. She can't tell me what's wrong, I have tried to get her to communicate by writing, but that doesn't work either because it's like she has forgotten how to write. It is always sad for me and I am at the point where I don't know what to do but cry, of course AFTER I leave. I wonder if we made a mistake going with the peg tube. Am I being selfish? Don't get me wrong, I love my mother with all my heart, but I feel like I have already lost her, although she is still with us. Atleast after her stroke in 09 she could still enjoy her calories, and that was heart warming to me, and she could speak a little. Now she can't have anything by mouth, and the only sound she makes is like a moan, even when she is crying, if you weren't looking at her face you woudn't know it because no sound comes out. Any advice or comments would be very much appreciated. I do believe in miracles and I also have this saying "everything happens for a reason", but this really has me stumped. I miss my mom! I would love nothing more then to walk in and be able to hear her sweet voice. Thanks in avance for your time and comments.