Thank you so much! This is the OP. Your words really mean a lot to me (and to my fiancee!)
My family always treated me kind of badly even when I was younger, all due to being the "offspring" of my dad, and it's one reason I cut ties with them when I was 19 (after my dad decided to kick me out and move across the country on a whim.)
But there's always a part of us that wants to be loved, and that doesn't want to believe the truth. I guess that part of me took over and I thought that maybe I could really convince them that I wasn't as terrible as they thought.
You're right, and you've echoed much what my SO has been saying for a long time, but I just feared he was biased towards me (he is very protective and actively hates my family now after this behavior)
Your reply has really helped my self-esteem so much! I was feeling really down-trodden and just worthless because my whole family (younger cousins included) all are echoing the same song and dance and it starts to feel like you're in an alternate reality where reason becomes insanity, and crazy is the norm.
My younger cousin (22 years old) is also in college but when Grandma asked her to move in while we were away, she flat-out refused, and also said she couldn't do anything to help at all. Guess what? Grandma was fine with that. Not bitter in the least.
I'm the whipping "boy" I guess, but I feel really emboldened by your frank assessment. I cannot thank you enough for helping me to see the value in myself once again. It was starting to become a little too much like "Cinderella" except the "prince" was an indentured servant also . . .
It's time for us to move on with our lives and leave the rest of the "kids" to take care of their mother.