Question from Caring.com Community Member, slinkycat
My elderly mother living alone, has numerous medical problems including anxiety disorder. She is fine when feeling well, but uncontrollable when falls ill. Is it time for assisted living?
Expert Answer by Ann Cason
Ann Cason consults with and trains families, caregivers, and public and private organizations concerned with eldercare issues. She is the author of Circles of Care: How to Set Up Quality Home Care for Our Elders.
Thanks for writing. What makes this situation so distressing is the change. Sometimes your mother is fine. Sometimes she is uncontrollable. That type of switching back and forth keeps everyone off balance.
Bringing balance is the task. Will assisted living be able to assist you in this endeavor?
- Start with yourself. What kind of support will you need to keep balanced so that you can help. Pay special attention to your diet and excercise. Tell your family that you will need extra understanding during this time. Perhaps you will need a support group or counselling session to lend extra ears or shoulders.
- Check with your mother's doctor. Can the anxiety be treated? Does she see a geriatric psychiatrist? Is there a pattern to her anxiety? Can you try to find the triggers and avoid them?
- Do research on assisted living. Visit at least three facilities. Be sure to accurately describe you mother's behavior so they will be able to assess. You don't want to end up moving your mother into assisted living and then having to leave to move into a higher level of care.
- Try to deepen your communication with your mother. Ask her, gently if she is anxious about her medical situation. Tell her that you are worried about her, that you love her, that you want to be able to talk about what is bothering her.
- Finally then, when you have the information gathered, from a balanced state of mind, you will be able to decide if assisted living is right for your mother.
Expert Answer by Ann Cason
Ann Cason consults with and trains families, caregivers, and public and private organizations concerned with eldercare issues. She is the author of Circles of Care: How to Set Up Quality Home Care for Our Elders.
Thanks for writing. What makes this situation so distressing is the change. Sometimes your mother is fine. Sometimes she is uncontrollable. That type of switching back and forth keeps everyone off balance.
Bringing balance is the task. Will assisted living be able to assist you in this endeavor?
- Start with yourself. What kind of support will you need to keep balanced so that you can help. Pay special attention to your diet and excercise. Tell your family that you will need extra understanding during this time. Perhaps you will need a support group or counselling session to lend extra ears or shoulders.
- Check with your mother's doctor. Can the anxiety be treated? Does she see a geriatric psychiatrist? Is there a pattern to her anxiety? Can you try to find the triggers and avoid them?
- Do research on assisted living. Visit at least three facilities. Be sure to accurately describe you mother's behavior so they will be able to assess. You don't want to end up moving your mother into assisted living and then having to leave to move into a higher level of care.
- Try to deepen your communication with your mother. Ask her, gently if she is anxious about her medical situation. Tell her that you are worried about her, that you love her, that you want to be able to talk about what is bothering her.
- Finally then, when you have the information gathered, from a balanced state of mind, you will be able to decide if assisted living is right for your mother.
