How can we keep mom from spending all her money?

1 answer | Last updated: Dec 15, 2011

An anonymous caregiver asked...

Help! Caring for a mother that lives over 700 miles away, who exhibits classic symptoms of early stage Alzheimer's or Dementia. She is easy prey for every hustler, via mail, phone, internet or door-to-door. I am at my wits end. I control most of the finances (Durable POA), and I've taken all the credit cards. But she does live alone and must have access a checking account for basic items. So of course there are hundreds of dollars drained out every month, sometimes dipping into overdraft funds or incurring penalties, etc . No amount of pleading or yelling helps. She just does not get it any more. Can anyone suggest a way to control the spending of a person in this condition? Thanks.

hopeful 2010

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hopeful 2010 said...

I dealt with this situation with my mother a few months ago. She was convinced that she had won the Publisher's Clearinghouse and spent a few hundred dollars pasting "special See also:
How do I get my dad to stop taking questionable financial advice from his friends?

See all 566 questions about Legal & Finances buys" on her envelopes. I needed to confiscate her license, checks and cards. My mother is at an Asst. Living home and I give her about $40/week in cash for her bingo games, beauty shop and outings. It was difficult at first to give out the money, but now we are getting used to the idea. Even though your mother "doesn't get it any more"--you do, and God wants us to do what is right, sometimes have that tough love, and be good stewards he provides for us and our loved ones. I have found that it is best not to plead, yell or try to reason. Also refusing to engage in outbursts, drama, etc. does not help, but a nice calm voice helps immensely! I hope this helps. It is good to know others are in the same boat. I am so blessed to have found this site! Answer from Hopeful 2010

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