This is just a version of the eternal crap that continues to bring angst to families once a person dies without being specific. My father, an only child, told me 20 years ago right after my grandmother passed away, that she wanted me to hav her ring, too. She left everything in writing to my dad, an only child, but I was the oldest grandchild, a girl, and the one who was particularly close to her, almost like the daughter she never had. My mother, who is a fairly selfish person, who told me once that my grandmother had "stolen" me from her (she was 20 when she had me and I think really wasn't very excited about the day to day care of a baby nor was she very mature) and also told me that she "never really bonded with me", presented enough of a threat to my dad's happiness that he just gave it to her. He told me that when my mother passes away I would then inherit the ring and, as my parents are fairly wealthy, there would be "enough jewelry to go around" to all of my siblings and me then. The issue for me, particularly right after I lost my grandmother, is that SHE wanted ME to have it, not my mother. The real deal is that she did not write it down.
Over the years I have heard from my middle sister, who is really, along with her husband, a shameless suck up to my parents, that my mother told her that she wanted either she or my other sister to get the ring and NEVER me. My mother and I have never really been close and, having been told and treated, like I am not really on the same status level as her other children, I am positive that I will never get the ring. My mother has also told me at times that she was thinking about resetting it, etc. I know this has been just to upset me. I am now in my 50's. I have some beautiful jewelry that my husband has purchased for me, along with a gorgeous engagement and wedding ring set. I don't "need" any more and I have over time learned to deal with the pain of losing my grandmother, so not physically having her ring is not as painful as it was when I learned so long ago, right after losing her, that I was supposed to have something she wanted me to have and my father gave it to my mother instead. I have let it go and emotionally that's the best for me. I live away from most of my family distance wise, and I know, even if I am 80 and see my sister wearing that ring, it will hurt, because my sister has known from the outset about the conversation that my dad had with me and why he gave it to my mother anyway.
At this point, my husband's only brother has told my husband that he "thinks of mom's money as" his "retirement" and we know he has not prepared for it himself as we have. He lives close by to their mom and although she says she wants everybody to get along she has them both on her accounts JTROS and he basically writes all her bills and controls the checkbook. The minute she would pass away he could clean it out (her house is gone and all the contents sold so there is really at this point no reason for a will). She hates to even discuss that there could be a problem and has brought it up to my husband but is not willing to do anything to change ownership of the accounts to prevent any future issues, My brother in law's behavior and statements have convinced my husband he is planning to take it all and I think he's right.
What we have learned from all of this is to make sure we write everything down that matters to us and make SURE it gets done properly. It may not be what anyone particularly wants or doesn't want, but it is what we want and we will be clear so they can
NEVER be mad after we are gone at each other, or hurt. That is, of all things, the most valuable take away from this issue. Learn from it and do not repeat it.