My Dad died in January and my Mom has had to reluctantly sell her house, move to another town (ours) in the house with my husband and I. Our children are in their 20's and in and out when not at work or school. My mother has depression problems from way before my Dad died - bad marriage relationship and with my father's sudden death - it has put her into a deeper depression.
I have tried to find things for her to do - but she didn't do anything before he died. She has breathing problems from a life of smoking (which is one of the only things that makes her happy) and is legally blind in one eye and failing in the other from macular degeneration. These problems have escalated her depression too. She does not take anything for the depression - but we have a pending appointment with a psychiatrist in her group of Doctors. She has recently had cancer, treated successfully with surgery and is cancer free now.
She stays home all the time, mostly going from lying down to the kitchen, a little walking around in the yard with a dog, then back to "chill" and lie down again She does like watching TV news and the regular Wheel of Fortune shows before turning in before 8 pm which makes her wake up at 5 am. Sleep is a problem for her too -
I am recently retired - days before my Dad passed away. This makes me able to be home and at least take her to Doctor appointments and try to do the things I've been looking forward to as a retired teacher.
She is reluctant to meet any new people, go to the senior center or even wash her hair on a regular basis. She does like to meet my friends when they come over.
I want my freedom back! I am very active and an artist who needs creative time. I find myself always involved with her somehow because she follows me around or comes to find me whenever I am away from her for over 30 minutes. She even calls my cell phone if I am out longer than I said I would be. We have arguments over these things - her memory will not allow her to remember the boundaries I tried to set about my need for my time alone also.
This is a lot! Her relatives are not very helpful - they stay in their hometowns and even though she has 2 sisters - they don't come to visit her or invite her to come see them. But, they also have been ignored by her as long as my father was alive.
I want my Mom to be happy - but I know she has to be willing to try - and then to take medication that the Dr. may prescribe. She has had an addiction problem in the past with a anti depressant - even though she still denies it. I'm worried about this happening again too. She loved ambien and we finally got her to stop taking that just recently - because she was sleepwalking and acting crazy at night and could have fallen and hurt herself many many times.
Any suggestions to help her get more independant while living in our home - I will take her anywhere and would love to have suggestions from anyone who has had similar situations.