How can I help Mom, who has Alzheimer's and is a victim of financial elder abuse?
For future protection,it would be imperative for you or someone else to be appointed as a guardian of your mother. If this had been done earlier, it would have been easier to prevent her from depleting assets when she did not have the requisite state of mind to make the gifts that she made.
In regard to the step-brother threatening to kill you, you should consider bringing a criminal complaint.
In addition, various states have specific laws that pertain to the kind of financial abuse of the elderly that you describe in your question. You should contact the local District Attorney and ask for their assistance in this matter. They may be in a position to recover funds if it can be shown that they were taken through financial exploitation of your mother.
In regard to her co-signing for a loan, if she has dementia, she does not have sufficient state of mind to make such a contract.
I strongly urge you to retain the services of an Elder Law attorney to assist you in this matter.
I'm in a major problem myself. I wanted to mention that there's a movement to finally get a bill through congress called the Elder Justice Act (S795, HR2006). Visit http://elderjusticenow.org/ and http://www.elderjusticecoalition.com/index.htm
We are not alone and if we all get together, we can at least slow down if not end elder abuse.
I record all conversations with every one involving my situation. I also save every piece of paper and take photos of text messages.
Good luck!
Most states have strict laws that specifically criminalize exploitation of the elderly. I recommend that you contact an elder law attorney in your area regarding the financial exploitation, the automobile and loan, and guardianship for your mother. The attorney may be able to help you return the automobile if you can provide a letter from a physician stating that your mother did not have capacity to sign contracts or handle her affairs. Mindy Stein, MSW, JD www.mindystein.com
You don't need an attorney. You need to immediately call the Dept of Aging. If you don't know who they are, then head to your local police. This is a criminal matter!
It is sad, but if we believe statistics (just this once), most of our frail elderly are exploited by family members.
It takes time to build the trust of a loved one. If you are the caregiver, take time to build this trust and save your loved one from these kinds of abuses.
I know first hand. It took three years after my mother died to see my father feel confident that I was helpful to him in the way he needed help.
The current state of the economy gives rise to creative MANIPULATORS who will do anything to siphon off funds for personal benefit.
I found a record of annual, then monthly, then bi-weekly checks written to a questionable organization; not to mention a family member who "borrowed" funds without any intention to paying them back.
What a shame...$40K car taken from an elder who is on limited income.
One CAVEAT...oftentimes, the primary caregivers are the ones who the care recipient protests against. This is the nature of caregiving. Caregivers often feel most abused by the ones they care for while their loved ones "trust" the stranger who offers momentary kindness through flattery and attention.
To MAINTAIN TRUST of your loved one, you need to walk that fine line of helping while allowing your loved one to make her (in this case) own decisions (or at least let her feel she is) as you make sure she is making wise decisions.
As a caregiver for my late father with dementia /Alzheimer's, it took several years, but he felt confident I would help him. And despite no involvement from siblings (except for obstacles), my father was able to have sufficient funds to cover the cost of his care until his passing five years later. As his power of attorney and then later, conservator, I made sure to produce an annual accounting of each penny so there would be no questions asked.
Details of my story are found in "Where's my shoes?" My Father's Walk through Alzheimer's.
Brenda Avadian, MA
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