How do we deal with Dad's dementia delusions?
Your father has developed paranoid delusions, and knowing how to respond to him is partly a matter of understanding what causes them. Delusions -- false, fixed beliefs -- are a common complication of dementia, particularly in the later stages. They're called "fixed" because no matter how good your argument is, no matter what proof you provide to show his belief is false, he can't be budged. You could have a private investigator follow your mother and film her every move to show there's no affair, or you could have the best accountants comb his finances to prove there's no wrongdoing, but it wouldn't help solve your problem.
Often the delusions in dementia are paranoid, as in your dad's case, because the delusion is in part an attempt to find something or someone to blame for why the person with dementia feels he has so little control of his life. Your father doesn't have the insight to recognize that it's his progressive dementia that's the source of his trouble. Instead, he presumes that his problem stems from someone betraying him.
The best strategy is to let your dad say what's on his mind and listen attentively. When he's done, let him know you're very sorry he feels this way, then try to gently change the subject. His belief is fixed, so trying to reason with him won't help. Agreeing with him, obviously, would open up a whole different set of potential problems.
Unfortunately, paranoid delusions can lead to aggression, so if gentle redirection isn't helpful, it's important to get professional help. A physician can evaluate him to be sure there's not a medication or a treatable medical condition triggering the delusions. If not, the doctor may broach the subject of considering an antipsychotic medication to treat the delusions.
Two important things to know about antipsychotics, though:
- They often decrease the intensity of delusions associated with dementia, but they aren't likely to eliminate them.
- The FDA has issued a severe warning about people with dementia taking antipsychotic medications. This is because there's an increased mortality risk for people with dementia who take them.
Be sure, therefore, to give careful consideration to the potential benefit such medication may provide in comparison to the potential risk.
My father has exhibited some paranoia symptoms. This article is very helpful in preparing everyone else in the family on how to react to my father when he gets those feelings.
My father is delusional and was recently prescribed antipsychotic meds which seem to have calmed down the agitation/anger but have increased the delusions. The tips on how to handle those situations are very helpful and I plan on passing this on to my mother.
My husband does all of those things. A little humor helps, not to make fun of him, but he always had a good sense of humor, loved to tell jokes and I know what and when is appropriate. This dialog is a wonderful help. Patience and understanding and listening is the best! We have a prescription for antipsychotic meds, but to use only in case of a severe melt down. For example we went away for 4 days and on the way home he panicked and tried to get out of the car and when we got home he accused me of disposing of his wife. It took two of our kids and about 5 hours to calm him down. I didn't have the meds then. Needless to say, no more overnite travel and we have the I.C.E. meds now.
These tips are very helpful. I will talk with my husband's doctor regarding the antipsychotic medicine. His delusions are even worse late at night. Previously I would give him Ambien but it no longer seems to work.
As my father's oldest daughter, I was the first person in the family to recognize the symptoms that my father had shown for quite a while. At first, my sisters were thinking he was not doing too good because of my being deaf and that I COULD do a better job of taking care of him. I knew from the bottom of my heart that it was not true what they said to me. Because of my love for my father, I started to seek help for him and it was when I discovered the website, CARING.COM. I found it to be helpful. I'd recommend it to anyone who needs support.
I am so grateful,as alone on caring 24x7 with Dementia. so helpful, and informative. Antoinette big hug xxxv
I am able to tell my mother that she and I are the only ones in the house. sometimes she believes me and sometimes she is sure I am not telling her the truth. as long as we don't go on and on about it. if she continues to insist someone else is in the house, I just say "oh". I am interested in trying antipsychotics but her other caregiver isn't. I take them myself and they work here. her agitation and restlessness are not too bad yet, so I guess we will wait. she only takes aricept now.
Sometimes, when all of the above doesn't relieve ths problem, just saying "Stop!", will. Last summer on an outing, my Mom decided that when we left a restruant, I left my brother in the men's room (my brother is in his late 50ies & lives in another state), stranded & without a way home. On the way home Mom pleaded for me to turn around & get him. She even started to open the door of our moving car & junp out to go back! This came up on every subsiquent trip into town for the next two months. Finally, on the way to the haridressers, I got exasperated & told her firmly, "Mom, if you don''t stop talking about this I will not be able to bring you to town ever again." She commented that it wasn't very nice of me to leave him alone in a strange town like that--she had the last word--but then dropped it. It is now 4 months & quite a few town trips later; so far, she's never mentioned it again!
