Question
My mother was recently diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, but she hasn't told any of her friends or coworkers because she's embarrassed by her shakiness. I think it's a bad idea for her to try to hide the condition. What can I say or do to help?
— Caring.com Community Member, Tim
Answer
Expert Joseph H. Friedman is director of the Parkinson's Disease and Movement Disorders Center at NeuroHealth in Warwick, Rhode Island. He wrote Making the Connection between Brain and Behavior: Coping with Parkinson's Disease.
First, your mother's concern about her work situation is understandable. Sometimes patients, despite doing a good job at work, will get fired because of their Parkinson's disease. That's a violation of national law, but it happens all the time. So I can't judge your mother's work situation; she has to judge it.
But you can help her understand that friends and family may have already recognized that she has a problem. And that many people who love her are probably worried about her but don't know what to say because they don't want to be intrusive.
So, I think that it could be beneficial for your mother either to tell friends that she has Parkinson's and is dealing with it -- or to just say, "I know that I shake, and I'm under a doctor's care for it." If she doesn't want to tell people what the diagnosis is, she can at least say she's addressing the problem. Those who care about her will then feel reassured that it's being attended to.
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