First of all - can anyone tell me how to do 100% Helpful?
When my Mother passed away, it was only two weeks after my 5 year old Grandson had visited his "G-Granny". We were told 3-4 months, it was only 18 days!
All of Mom's children lived out of state - I was the closest - 850 miles! My brother and I took care of our Mother and then had to call our loved ones about her passing. My daughter had to bring my 5 yr. old Grandson and he had to stay with us and attend the services. We had talked to him before and he handled his visit with his G-Granny just as if nothing was going on.
The "Adults" needed my Grandson more then we realized! Before the visitation, we arrived early (as they have you do). When we walked into the room, my Grandson said, "Is that G-Granny's bucket?" It was a closed casket service. He called the casket a "bucket"! It made the adults smile and laugh! From the mouths of babes!! He was so glad to meet all the people - letting them all know that was his "G-Granny in that bucket"! It seemed to help all of the adults!
He sat still during the services and listened to everyone. At the end when we stood up to walk behind my Mother, he stopped and turned around to face everyone standing. While standing on the pew, he told everyone there - "She was my G-Granny and loved me very much and I loved her very much and will miss her a lot"! Then he got down and walked with us outside of the chapel. I guess he had heard and listened to all the people saying nice things about my Mother that he just had to do his "speech"! I was very proud! Everyone had smiles!
When we got to the gravesite - my Grandson insisted on being one of the pall barriers!! So I decided both he and I would hold on to one of the side handles. One of my cousins came up and asked me if he "Could have the honor". So I told my Grandson to come with me, he saw another handle where my Mother's head was placed in the casket and together, we held that handle! The determination of a 5 year old!
It was time to leave and my Grandson was extremely worried about leaving G-Granny there all alone. Then I showed him one of the Counselors from the funeral home standing near my Mother's casket. I told him that she was there to make sure everything was going to be done right and bury G-Granny's "bucket" (that's what he called the casket) and place the flowers on the ground after G-Granny is buried. Then we could go back in a couple of hours if we want to go. We went out to lunch at a restaurant and when we finished, my Grandson asked, "has it been enough time so we can go see G-Granny and make sure all the flowers are there"? There were 5 Adults and we all said "Yes" at the same time to my Grandson. When the waiter brought us our check - my Grandson told him, "We are going to see my G-Granny and make sure they put all the flowers on the ground and did everything right". Then he told the waiter, "Thank you for bring the check so we can go right now". The waiter (a young man in his early 20's) told my Grandson, "I think your G-Granny knew how much time you needed to wait and thank you for coming to have lunch with us"! My Grandson replied, "Your welcomed - we got to go now - have a nice day"! The adults - we just looked at each other shaking our heads with slight smiles.
Later that evening, my brother, husband, me, and other family members were sitting on the back patio at Mom's house while my daughter was giving my Grandson his bath in G-Granny's bathroom. My brother said, "I don't know how we would have made it through today with your Grandson" (he called him by his name). "Here we were so worried about how he was going to react - do you all realize that he was the one that kept us all together!?" I will never forget it!! I believe because he had so much information and knew what was going to happen and what we were doing beforehand, put him at ease and he was himself! He just didn't realize how much he helped the adults!!!!!