Dear companions who made the choice to not treat their breastcancer! I respect all choices, but mine was also to not treat it. I was diagnosed with a severe aggressive cancer in january 2007 and my doctor could tell me that probably it was there about 10-12 years...if I had been cautious I would have noticed, but at the time I had no time to be ill because of my partner and father of my son. My son had expressed the will to take care of his father after his coma (2004) no matter how demented he was and to be his companions till the very last end. His father needed permanent assistance and help, my son was a youngster of 20 and studying and no one could expect him to be there all the time, so I was the permanent help anyway. After years of separation, we became a true family again, for now was the time, with no delay, to love and care at the best for each other in whatever ways. Such things we can only do when they have to be done. It was now or never. When our beloved one died in sept.2006, after a very severe decline of all capacities,but also an immense experience of shared love and gratefulness, the mourning was heavy and my heath started to scream for attention. In january the diagnosis was severe, I would have maximum 1 year as the cancer was very aggressive. Everybody will understand that I was not planning to submit my son to another terrible decline! I had only 1 choice: to preparing my son to accept my "departure" as well, spending as much quality- time as possible lovefully, joyfully and meaningfully and in the meanwhile cleaning up all matters of life that would otherwise burden him after. 2 months later a check of the situation shortened my life expectations. I would not make it till the autumn! When even my funeral was arranged, my papers in order for my last will concerning healthcare...we decided for a trip of 10 days meant as a "last vacation" together before my departure. Because of a flebitis I could not fly back...and I stayed 3 months on a mountain in Crete. I came back in bad condition but looking like a flower! Painkillers of all kind started to make my consciousness more numb...and I didn't want that...but the pains and disorders of all kind where severe. But those disorders where partly due to the side-effects of the painkillers and other medicines. So I decided to cut down the medicines...till NONE! We are 2011 now, I adapted my lifestyle, when exhausted I take it calmly, when I have energy I enjoy it! I still return to Crete every once a while for several months (it is cheaper than all my medicines together and the results are amazing!I know I got a BONUS, my son and I are aware that it might not last...but so what! What we have we have...The quality of my life has always been more important to me than the duration... and look what happened! I have still my breasts, no metastasis, I am not taking medicines, and yes the cancer grows visibly and sometimes causes harsh time... disorders of all kind, but I accept, I comfort myself, adapt each time at the demands of my cancer and then "he" leaves me in peace again...and again.I might not have a physical active time, but a very very important healthy spiritual time and I still am able to support and inspire my beloved ones instead of burdening them with excessive care and sorrows. I am 58 and still have the looks of a youngster! Who doesn't know will not suspect anything. That is confusing of course, for my looks are not telling anything about my true condition. So The thing that scares me is that I would overlook the symptoms of the true end nearing, and missing to depart with a proper "goodbye, see you later!".