Is it worthwhile to help Mom create new friendships in her new communtity with moderate Alzheimer's?

Your situation is shared with numerous, if not the majority, of children in long-distance relationships with a declining parent. A person with dementia is often able to keep up a See also:
Can we travel with parents with dementia? telephone conversation for ten or so minutes without giving away her progressing memory-loss and confusion. We can’t help but think of our parents as we’ve always known them in the past and as long as they sound the same, we have no reason to suspect problems. It often takes a friend or neighbor to alert the family to the severity of her problems.

Now that she’s living with you, it’s a positive sign that your mother maintains her strong desire to experience new things. You don’t want to discourage her spirit, but since she has had negative reactions at times, her choices are probably too ambitious. Too many people, too large a crowd, and little chance to connect with any one person, especially if she's there by herself.

There are a couple of options for you. You can choose events that you both enjoy, so you can attend them together. This will allow you to help her connect with a single person or a small group among the masses. We tend to assume that people with memory loss are no longer able to form friendships. This is a fallacy. Feelings and personal needs are still very much intact even after a person can no longer express them verbally. We humans are social beings; bonding is instinctive and people with dementia will connect with others long after they are able to hold up their end of a conversation. You definitely want to support your mother in forming new friendships, even if she has problems remembering names. A good choice is to find a small group, such as a book club at the library. Accompany your mother initially to help her establish her footing. You may even help her get a poetry group going there or at the local senior center. It’d help your mother if you’d invite the group to meet at your house occasionally. Don’t worry about her remembering details such as names. You can help her by talking about the good times she shared with them before (on your way to the event, so it's still fresh when you get there.)

PS. Two years ago we started an Alzheimer’s Café in Santa Fe, NM. It has been a great venue for people with memory loss like your mom to meet new friends in a non-pressure, relaxed and fun environment. (www.alzheimerscafe.com) - If you want help starting a café in your area, contact me.

Was this answer helpful?

Yes

No

Report Abuse

Yes

No

Report Abuse