How do I deal with my mother, who has Alzheimer's, when she wants to "go home"?

I appreciate that you do not want to use medication , try behavioral interventions first. Alzheimer's housing anxiety is not unusual . The reason why she feels as if she See also:
Why do Alzheimer's patients remember certain things and forget others?

See all 660 questions about Alzheimer's and Other Dementias must leave is that at the end of the day for most people in their younger years (where she might be in her mind,) it is a time to go home from work or start preparing for the evening meal. The sun is setting, thus the term "sun-downers" and she is perhaps just tired after spending an exhausting day trying to cope with everything going on around her that she might not understand. See if she will take a nap before the behavior starts. Lower extra stimulation like the television and try to reduce the number of things going on around her.

Have a suitcase ready for her and a pile of clothing that she can "pack". When she is sleeping unpack and get everything ready for her to pack again the next day. If at all possible, give her something to do while she is waiting for a "ride". Peeling potatoes, folding laundry, setting the table, any chore she can still do. This might also be a time when you can go to a room that has fall lighting and have a cup of decaf tea or coffee and make this a special time with mom. If all of the behavioral interventions do not work, discuss the situation with her physician who may be able to prescribe a mild anti anxiety medication.

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I have tried these things...Anxiety medication has been increased. Still I have this problem myself.

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I believe "GOING HOME" means going back to the childhood home..where they felt secure and safe and protected. The world for an Alzheimer and/or Dementia patient must be so filled with fear and anxiety that "HOME" would make that all go away. (or at least that is what they think)

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I don't have a good answer.

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Thanks to all But my mom is in a nursing home now.She been there for about a year in half now . She sometimes said she wants to go home . I say to her ok when the Doctor say you can or its to late now . she doing ok there I tell her she has a lot of friends here and the big thing is she SAFE HERE if she was home she was on the floor for hours and my 2 Brothers were not taking care of her thats why she came home with me .She lived in Fla and my hole family lives there I stayed here ion Long Idland new york were I was born n raised .But thats a nother story about my ass brothers sold everything in her homes and didnt say any thing to me or to my sister so I dont want to talk to them any more they are dead to me .But thats ok I got the best thing in life is MY MOTHER Iam makeing her as confable as i can I see her every day make her know Iam here for her and I love her with all my Heart and take one day at a time .There is so many People that are in the same boat .at work I give them this Email to help them out.Thanks SO Much for YOU HELP

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We have my Mother-in-Law(85) living with us now. She spent the last 25++ years sharing a home with her Daughter(59), who is a teacher, and also does some work for a friend/Lawyer. So Mother is @ home alone all day. Since either me or my husband are home during the day, everyone agrees she should live with us. Every night Mother says she needs to go back home to be with her daughter, so she won't be alone, even though Mother is the one who is home alone! We go back once a month and let her stay the night, when we get back home (3 1/2 hour drive) Mother says she should have stayed. We understand that used to be her home, but the best and safest place for her now is here with us. She says she enjoys being here, she feels loved and appreciated, very well taken care of, but she feels belongs there.

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Kudos for looking for answers that do not require medication. If all else fails, they are always there to be used as conservatively as possible with a doctor's care. My dad has such strong wandering tendencies I would label them more like 'running' tendencies. I have noticed they usually surface when he feels overwhelmed and out of options. Being fiercely independent all his life he feels he must do something about whatever it is that's bothering him. So I find the best thing I can do is to be proactive, using distraction and redirection whenever I can to ward off his need to leave where he is or go home. The other thing I've found very effective in managing alot of the behaviors my dad display is taking him for a walk. He is still ambulatory, so this works for him. We talk the whole time noticing things along the way and discussing whatever is bothering him. The really neat part is the 'coming home'. Whether we're coming back to the nursing home or back to my apt., there is a coming home feeling that I try to foster. Sometimes we will spend some time putting away all the things he has taken out to go home, or discuss topics we started during our walk. Through it all I do as much as I can to touch him; by that I mean hold his arm and draw him close while we're walking, and sometimes just stop and hug him. I think all these things help him to feel safer and cared for sometimes when words are not enough. It also makes him tired and more ready for sleep. Slowly through researching, talking to experts and others who are living through it I am developing tools I can reach when behaviors get difficult. When one doesn't work I go to the next one. When none of them work I find myself here, just like you are, reaching out for help...you will find an answer. Don't be afraid to be creative. Sometimes because we care so much, I am convinced we are provided with little miracles that come in the form of a quiet thought. God Bless.

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My husband is in assisted living and each time I visit he wants to leave and go whereever I am going. We cannot have a conversation because he is relentless in his pursuit. Quite often I have to leave after about 10 minutes without saying goodbye.

It seems to help if I have another friend go with me for a visit. He is not as aggressive in his quest to leave and is more social with another person along.

Redirection does not work with him. He knows he is in a different location than where I am. Sometimes if I visit just 3 or 4 times a week he seems to adjust better. Doctors tell me I am going to see him too often; the caretakers say they don't think so.

I tell him he can leave when the Doctor says he is okay to leave, but he doesn't buy into that.

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Mum is already at home, but I've finally understood that 'going home' to her is going to her room. It's made a difference!

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All you all have written is helpful. My husband will sometime ask "When are we going home?" We have been living in this house for 62 years, but every once in awhile he thinks that is not home. I thin k the dementia makes him feel like he is somewhere else and he must go home to feel better. I just hug him and tell him that we are home and as long as we are together we will always be home. Our son and his wife have moved in to help us and he frequently wonders why they are here and when are they going home. They have been with us for over a year. I don't have any answers. You just have to do the best you can. Bless you all for caring so much.

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I find if helpful sometimes to ask about "home". Who is there? What does it look like? Where is your favorite place? What do you do there? Do you want something to eat that is there? Sometimes, I ask about the yard, neighborhood, even the weather. I can get clues about what they are thinking...sometimes they mean their heavenly home!

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My sister lives in assisted living, and wants to go home, which she left three months ago where she lived alone but with an 8-hour caregiver. I take her out often, and she is very confused about where she is, and doesn't recognize her room till she sees her cat when we get back to the facility. Her on-going complaint is that she feels there's a dagger in her heart there. She doesn't like the activities director, so she won't attend the activities. I can understand the fact that at home there was a variety of things for her to do---skimming her pool, weeding in the garden, walking around the block; at the facility she has to stay inside, eat every meal in the same place, etc. We are going in 2 weeks for a 4-day Elderhostel trip. I am 80 years old, and have a grandson to take care of in the afternoon (6 years old) I don't know how often to visit, and am neglecting everything in my small apartment, in order to visit her almost every morning or evening, and take her places. I guess it's just one day at a time. From Nutmeg

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