Is wanting to "go home" part of Alzheimer's, even if the patient is at home?

6 answers | Last updated: May 02, 2012
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An anonymous caregiver asked...
My 87-year old Mother is living with my sister after 4 years in assisted living. Every night she tells me that she wants to "go home," to the town where she lived with my father for over 60 years. She has no family there, and is not able to live on her own. I try to steer the conversation away from this topic, but she brings it up every night - even though my sister is wonderful with her. Is this part of the Alzheimer's process?
 

Caring.com User - Joyce Simard
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A social worker and geriatric consultant who specializes in dementia care, Joyce Simard is based in Land O' Lakes, Florida, and in Prague. She...
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Joyce Simard said...

When she refers to "home," it's as an expression of an emotion. Home is where the heart is -- and her memories and heart are with your father and the See also:
What if my dad's doctor doesn't think it's Alzheimer's?

See all 660 questions about Alzheimer's and Other Dementias
home they shared. Unless she becomes too upset, try keeping on hand an album of pictures from the past so that she can reminisce about her life. When she expresses that she wants to "go home," just validate how special that time of life was for her.

If she has progressed to the stage of dementia where she has no touch with reality, it often works best , the house is being repainted right now." Or, "The house is being rented so someone else is living in it right now." Remember this is not lying, but helping the person live comfortably in their world.

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sanity said...

hi- when my mom who has alzheimers says she wants to go home, she means her bed. i tell her we have to eat dinner first and wait for the dark. she really doesnt understand that because she keeps repeating it all day.

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MarkTN said...

I recently went through this with my mother... AD since 2005. I agree this is an expression of emotion, where she feels comfortable. My mother has lived in the same house for 15 years, however I believe this emotion is tied to where her and my father spent there best years before his passing. (Charleston, SC) She would even go as far as packing her clothes etc up to 3 times a day. I found that simply taking her for a short drive, or out to get and ice cream really assisted with this, and found it was really "turned on" during sundowning. It is extremely hard to handle and redirect their focus, so hats off to your sister!! I hope this helps.

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An anonymous caregiver said...

"Going home" is actually a catch all phrase for my Mom. She uses it whenever she wants something she doesn't have. My mother (mid-to-severe dementia) actually even says it when she needs to use the bathroom. I have learned to simply say "ok, we will do that but let's finish eating (or whatever else) first. It gets tiring to hear but I have learned not to take it literally.

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wowmomma said...

My mom hasn't said this yet, but others I know say this because they mentally live in the past and can't connect to the present. Their short term memory is short and they well remember things that happened long ago.

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CA-Claire said...

My Mother did this a lot after she was diagnosed with a mesenteric tumor (Dr. gave her days to live, she lived nearly 10 weeks). My Father had difficulty with this - his AD not the normal AD symptoms - he kept telling her she was home - pointing out the furniture and such. I just told her we were on a trip, and that we would be going home soon. She would then ask me if I had my own room, which I always said yes to, since they lived in Assisted Living. It's difficult, but makes them more comfortable to know that they'll be going home soon.

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