My grandmother has Alzheimer's. She does not speak much any more or say much that makes sense. Sometimes she might mumble something here and there but it never makes much sense. What is going through her head? Is she thinking? Is she bored silly?
Expert Answer by Joyce Simard
Your question is one we would all like to know, what are they thinking? Carers do get non-verbal messages that might let us know if they are pleasant thoughts. If they are, count your blessings. However if she seems distressed by her thoughts, try to distract her with something she likes, ice cream a cookie, music. etc. Occasionally they give us clues with words and you might probe what she is trying to say. Do things with her so you know she is not bored. Sorting objects is often a good task and many women enjoy coloring or looking at pictures.
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When my husband is anxious or afraid I do as the expert suggested. But many times he is smiling and seems to be recalling a pleasant experience. This pleases me greatly because I really believe that as they "fade" they also begin to "connect" with old memories and people on the other side. They are preparing to leave this eartly world and go some place where they will have peace and be well and whole again. Try to think of it that way.
I also see people where my husband lives that if you watch them carefully are having a good time from the old days. One man sits, eyes closed, and fishes. Another acts out parts of his career as a doctor. Be very observant and you will see there are wonderful things happening for them at times.
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I have also found that the simple gesture of caressing their hands or giving a foot massage opens up much release from wherever or whatever. Selecting a pleasant aroma for both of you is the icing on the cake.
As Henri Nouwen states" The real question is not "what can we offer each other? but "who can we be for each other?" Blessings to all who care!
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