How can I deal with my mother's aggressive behavior?
Yes, it's common for a person with memory loss not to recognize a family member. Your mother is now living in the past when you were a young child; she doesn't remember you as an adult. Please seek help immediately. You must not allow your mother to abuse you in any way. Call her physician to report what's happening as medication may help get her through this difficult time. You also need to visit Dementia Units at longterm care facilities so that if she needs to be admitted to one, you are prepared. It's difficult to make this type of decision during a crisis.
My father has acted aggressively towards my mother at times. She refuses to admit he has Alzheimer so she gets upset with him. They seem to push each other's buttons. I have tried to convince her to go along with some of the things he does but it is useless. Her health has also deteriorated because of her nerves being shot. My sister and I have resorted to separating them and she will take my father and I will take my mother; that way, they both are more calm.
What a difficult situation. My mother (83) has had Alzheimer's for about 6 years, but fortunately she is not that aggressive. When she does get aggressive, I react with calmness (when I can!) and I redirect her to an activity that I know she enjoys or I give her a soothing cup of tea. Soft, quieting music sometimes helps as well, at least for my mom who always loved music. And if all else fails, we give her 1/2 a Xanax, with her doctor's approval, of course. I have also read recently that chocolate can help, as strange as that sounds. We were told to keep her away from coffee and chocolate, but it does seem to calm her and is better for her than Xanax.
She keeps changing so we try to change our methods as she changes. It is not easy.
My mom is 85 & has Alzheimer's. I have caregivers that come to her home & help. She has gotten aggressive & has what we call "outbursts" that sometimes include hitting. I want her to be able to stay in her home as long as possible but feel that if it becomes miserable for her caregivers, they will eventually quit. She would then have to move to a facility with a group setting & would probably be medicated. I asked her doctor for help with her agitation & we have tried several different medications. Things have improved, for now, but the disease is progressing. We will probably have to make more adjustments. As far as medicines not being good for her, she's 85. I just want her safe & happy.
