When I was in a caregiver group, the most important things I learned is that "I" couldn't change my parents BUT I could change how I respond to them AND to take care of myself! They are ailing, angry, confused, resenting losing control of their life and having to depend on anyone and will tell others that you are not doing a a good job taking care of them. All very "normal" for aging folk. They are angry at themselves too and you are handy to beat up. Family is suppose to understand that they don't mean what they say and just need to vent. No one LIKES being needy. Wait till they spit their food at you, accuse you of stealing their money or tell you to get out! Just do what you need to do and then go to another room and cry or blow off steam. They may have never had to take care of their parents or have bad memories about doing it. Now is the time to make sure all their paper work is in order. THIS IS VITAL.. You need a power of attorney, general and medical and a DNR order, take over the bills and pay them, the Bank should have you down as an Authorized user AND PUT THE HOUSE IN A family TRUST with you as executor. Make sure you have 2 original copies of everything in case of a panic and you can't find one of them. With extra notarized copies for the bank, family or other people that may request them. a close friend of mine found that as soon as he said the "A" word people were willing to help get his father's affairs in order. The Dr should have a noterized copy of the Medical POA & DNR in her file, you should carry them and if she goes by ambulance pin them to her for the people in the ER until the file is brought to them. Check with an attorney for what is required for where you live. You must keep yourself well to be able to take care of them: check into a group and get some outside help if only for 8 hours a week, long enough for you to go to the group, the store, get a pedicure, make calls that you don't want them to hear or just sit and stare out the window. I have walked this walk twice and my affairs are in order. At 73, I hope to be here for another 20 years or so but my son will have none of the worries that I had with my parents. I get my rest, eat well, take only supplements and herbs NO RX of any kind. I make changes in my home with idea that I will not be able to go to the 2nd floor or down in the basement and have to live on the first floor. I am prepared to care for myself for as long as God will let me.