How Would You Respond if a Loved One Decided to Forgo Cancer Treatment?

MayetSy

12 months ago

I'll try convincing the person that there's always hope. However, I can only convince him so much. The will to live is a personal decision.

LorXena

over 1 year ago

With regard to the question: How Would You Respond if a Loved One Decided to Forgo Cancer Treatment? It really depends upon the type of cancer and stage. The earlier caught, the more I would push my realtive to fight. However, I probably would not encourage chemotherapy unless the particular type of cancer has a well established record of successfully killing the cancer without causing symptoms worse than patients are able to handle. While I refused chemo and most therapies involving radiation, I did undergo a series of surgeries (begining in 2005) to remove the worst of the tumors (36 out of 40) of my stage 5 pancreatic cancer and refused to allow removal of my entire pancreas because I didn't want the serious complications involved with surgically induced diabetes. I however used many alternative & complimentary therapies (including Traditional Chinese Medicine and Herbal formulas). I also completely changed my diet and lifestyle, and I mentally put on the armour and weapons of a warrior. This November 22nd, I will have survived 5 years with active malignant pancreatic cancer that continues to spread to other tissues. I average 2 or 3 surgeries annually, yet this aggressive form of cancer is slowed down by those strict diet changes (no sugar, etc.) and herbal formulas. I have tumors surgically removed or radio-frequency ablated when they reach near or past 1 cm. With this method I've been able to live with cancer and have more good days than bad days. So, if I had a relative that wanted to forgo chemotherapy & radiation, which weaken the body and can even cause new cancers to form, but was willing to fight with food, exercise and herbal formulas, then I would definitely support the decision. If however, my relative wanted to "go home," I would support their decision to die with dignity.

dodgerguy

over 1 year ago

octoman.... thanks for your valued perspective ! i was reciently diagnosed with non-hodggkins lymphoma stage I and i have prostate cancer -stage I ...treated w/ rad seeds and they took a kidney due to non-cancerous tumors ...... anyway @ my age of 54yrs i've had kinda of a rough 1st year after diagnosis!!!~ my kaiser oncology dr is not pushing chemo on me yet ... i've had 5 weeks of rad.therapy and just really agree with you about my impending future chemo use ... IVE SEEN OTHERS DIE WITH LESS "QUALITY OF LIFE" just because of chemo! i only pray for a quick death !

KLDB

about 2 years ago

My sisters and I helped my mom go through chemo three times. The third time at age 79 she couldn't take it and was pulled off. She survived (tough!) ten months. While talking with one sister, I often told her that mom was really brave and I was unsure if I could have gone through chemo. Well, sad to say, I think my sister suspected she had breast cancer when we had these discussions and she delayed treatment and then got it when it was too late. Her cancer had been very much treatable but she sat basically and waited to die without giving it a fight and went at age 53. This was very bad and wrong. My mother was 75 when detected with her leukemia and we were amazed she was healthy enough to take it at that point but she was and was in remission 5 years before it came back and she died. There is a major difference between 53 and 75! Mom lived alone, my sister had a husband! And me! Now, if it had been inoperable or something they knew was very fatal, I still think I wouldn't try all these weird medicines...but my kids really are angry and say they will make me fight! maybe they will and maybe I should. I just don't want to waste what precious time I may have left being a guinea pig unless there is a new grandbaby coming...or another episode of LOST... (LOL!) Sorry- not a funny topic but I couldn't help it. Just my thoughts...today..while I am still healthy!

beatbreastca­ncer

about 2 years ago

Dear Octoman; I'm not Robert or a coward; I was very tired when I wrote my post and I accidentally hit the "anonymous" tab. I am interested in your "ramblings" because I, too, had cancer. Almost 3 years ago I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer; I had surgeries, chemo, radiation and reconstruction. Because of this, my two children (11 and 9) and my husband still have me in their lives. I was 45 when I got the news; I'm almost 49 now. I'm cancer-free, and I'm interested in other people's responses to cancer; I try to understand and help if I can by hearing their experiences and sharing mine, if they're useful. I only meant to let you know that it's hard to understand your posts because it all kind of rambles and runs together; your experiences deserve to be heard and understood by everyone. I apologize if anything I wrote was hurtful or irritating; I don't always think my thoughts through thoroughly when I'm tired. I need to not stay on the computer so long that I'm vegging out!! Good luck on your life and God bless you and your wife; she's lucky to have a husband who will stand by his vows "in sickness and in health".

octoman

about 2 years ago

Dear Robert OR anonymouse if you prefere it WHY ARE YOU INTERESTED IN MY RAMBLINGS WHEN YOU ARE SO PICKY I CANNOT UNDERSTAND IS IT THAT YOU NEED NEW SPECTACLES HAVE CANCER YES I AM NEAR EIGHTY I THINK CHEMO IS THE WORSE THING I COULD HAVE IN MY BODY. OK? How are your teeth?coward !

Sorry, Octoman, I can never figure out exactly what your posts mean. Can you work on your spelling, punctuation, and sentence formation? I'm not really picky, but your posts are a confusing mass of words that aren't separated or stated in a clear, meaningful way. The message gets lost in the mess.

octoman

about 2 years ago

What a mess I thoght I could edit , Well it is hundreds of thousands of cancer deaths a year I am my wifes carer,I must be there for her ,her life is in my hands ,I will not be able to care and suffer the side effects Next it was my surgeon I asked why I have survived. he could not agree with me he would be debarred . just trying to help as any carer should.

octoman

about 2 years ago

I am the carer.My surgeon wasnts me to have chemo I have looked at the side effects,11 likely horrorable 9 less likely awful ones 4 rare deadly ones.and this chemo is unlikely to shrink the cancer and will not cure effect a cure even might kill me, I have received hate mail because of my views. How dare I well hundreds of thousands of cancers a year makes me,A soldier dies and its why? why?are not cancer patients allowed the same public comments?this week I ask why am I alive,well because it is less lethal not what I have read 12% survial rate? that is a 5,years survival I have survived 7 years now he wants me to take the risk again sorry I will refuse treatment again and see what happens. some one must refuse treatment to compare.if everyone has treatment you cannot know what is killing you the cancer or the treatment.or even if if treatment does improve your chances,