If you've joined an Alzheimer's support group, have you found it helpful? (Choose one.)
By Caring.com Staff
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Alzheimer's Support Group
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- How can I keep my father, who has dementia, from losing things?
- How do I make sure my father with Alzheimer's remembers to take his medicines?
FROM THE COMMUNITY
I joined a group in April of this year and have found it enormously helpful. It helps me to hear others share their stories and grief. Sometimes there are concrete ideas and suggestions, but mostly it is simply a time to share and comfort and laugh. My 91 year old mother lives with me; she has early-stage dementia. I am a much better caregiver because of the support group. The group doesn't solve problems, but it provides welcome relief and validation of the stress of caregiving ~ that is truly useful to me.
I tried joining a support group, but since they only meet once a month, and I couldn't go on the "correct" Tuesday of the month, I gave up. Another one I tried seemed all right the first time, but cancelled the next month without notifying me (for a children's carnival to be held that night on the same site??), so I am frustrated. I find it very hard to attend these meetings when they are in the middle of the day, when I am here caring; I cannot just go! I wish they were held in the evening, so I could get my "client" to bed (even if it is early for her!) and go for support. How do others leave the client to go in the middle of the day? I would appreciate some feedback here, please. Thanks!
I stayed with my support group just a few meetings. I learned a little bit, but mostly it was just people who had already lost someone years before stillo grieving. It was the one my Alzheimer's Assoc had recommend for me as "best". It wasn't. I find this site much more valuable to me. I so often find that the "professionals" are so certain that they are the "authority" they don't listen to us who are living it 24/7. For example where I am living now, the annual Caregivers Conference starts at 8 a.m. Can you imagine being able to get your loved one up,dressed, fed, etc. and make it at that time? Here in this state, you also have to attend an 8 week series of classes before you can go to a support group. IF I had 8 weeks of free days, I most certainly would not spend it in a class about the disease. I would take time to pamper myself!!!!!
Do these support groups not have facilitators? Have you tried sharing your observatons with the director of the Association sponsoring your support group? The Alzheimer's Association has created this support group; they need to also manage it.
I recently joined a group at my husband's day care center. I really learned a lot at the first meeting and am looking forward to one next week. However, I agree with "btutor". When it becomes a platform for one member to spend the entire hour expressing their grief or complaints I am also "out of there". I am looking for help, I'm not interested in people complaining about having to be a caregiver. None of us asked for it, it just happened. Accept it and go from there to help yourself improve your situation. I am not only taking care of my husband who has Alzheimers but also my 86 yr. old mother who has been living with us for 6 months and needs a lot of care. Any suggestions on how to deal with a stubborn, contrary german mother who doesn't want to be in her situation would be appreciated!
I, on the other hand, joined a support group over a year and a half ago and feel a great deal of support. In the interim, three members lost their loved ones and continue to come to support group. It provides a respite from caregiving and insight into how others cope. It also makes us feel that we are not alone. We meet once a month and I find it's like having another family to visit and share with. We also have a lovely dinner together once a month.
I joined an Alzheimer's Association support group and really found it to be be anything but supportive. It was just a platform for know-it-alls who had nobody else to talk to. I don't have the time to listen to the complaints of everyone else while receiving no helpful information.