sttng

Member since May 12, 2009
1 Replies, 7 Comments

Bio

Hi. My name is Linda. I’ve been very happily married for over 18 years and we have a wonderful 14-year-old daughter. I work full time as an HR Admin. Asst., have volunteered as an advocate for the Alzheimer’s Association’s annual Legislative Day in May several times, and walked with the ALZStars Team to help raise funds to cure Alzheimer’s Disease.

Eight years ago, my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She’s currently 82 years old, is in the early-mid stage of Alzheimer’s, and is still able to live alone in the home she’s lived in for over 50 years. Her independence is very important to her, and I want to help her stay in her own home for as long as is safely possible. I call her several times a day and wait on the phone while she takes her medicines, which I separate for her to take with breakfast, lunch, and bedtime. I also manage her financial, medical and home maintenance needs, along with grocery and other shopping.

Like many others who are part of “The Sandwich Generation,” learning to juggle an aging parent’s care, working, and raising a family can be difficult. It can be very demanding dealing with this awful disease and the responsibilities it entails, yet I have found it even more stressful trying to involve siblings who won’t help. While I live 50 miles away from our mother and my sister and brother live much closer to her, I am her primary caregiver.

I found out through attending caregiver support meetings and other affiliated sources that many other caregivers have similar issues with family. I’ve tried the suggested remedies for these issues, which range from asking them for help to family meetings to counseling. Unfortunately, none of these valuable and often successful tools have enabled our family to work together as a team to help take care of Mom. My sister won’t talk to me at all, my brother barely does and I am excluded from ALL their family activities. They include Mom, fortunately, but the severity of this dysfunction hurts her terribly. I have let the family know that whenever they want to talk, I will be available.

Forgiveness and acceptance of their rejection has allowed me to reduce the stress I had been feeling, but I also had to “let go” of the idea of reconciliation in order to focus on enjoying everyday life with my own family.

I feel honored and privileged to be able to manage my mother’s care and strive to balance her needs with taking care of my husband and daughter . . . and maybe even taking care of myself a little bit.