Side by Side

I am a friend or relative of a resident

Picking an assisted living facility for my father was difficult since he insisted on staying in his home of the last 60 years. He was 91 years old at the time and was in failing health and had worsening dementia. I was living in another state approximately 270 miles from my father. I called several facilities in Pittsfield trying to find the best place for him. Side by Side was the only locally owned facility and this was a positive development. I was able to talk directly to the owner and she agreed to go to my father's home and bring him to Side by Side. This was quite an accomplishment if you knew my father. We told him he was going on vacation for a few days. This happened on a Sunday after friends of the family called me regarding a recent bad episode with my father. In short, he was loosing contact with reality and could no longer live alone. My father stayed at Side by Side for a few days and then convinced one of his friends to rescue him and take him home. Once again, the Side by Side owner went back to get him. She also moved some of his furniture from his home to Side by Side.He eventually settled in and became more or less resigned to his fate. This was a small facility with a total of about 36 residents. He was assigned to a table for meals and most of the time got along with everyone. He liked the staff and was always telling me how nice they were. He did not, however, like the food and never stopped complaining about this. His dementia was of a type that results in paranoia and he was absolutely convinced that the cook was giving him smaller potions of food of less quality. He also had many other paranoid episodes that were described with such clarity and conviction that you would think they had to be true. In point of fact, they were not. I had several telephone and face to face conversations with the owner and staff during this period and they were very understanding of my concerns. It is very sad and depressing to watch your father deteriorate both physically and mentally over a period of several years.Assisted living facilities have very definite rules regarding the type of services that they will provide. Examples are that the resident needs to be able to get himself to meals and must be able to take his own medicine if it is handed to him. Also, you need to able to get out of a chair with the assistance of only one person. I mention this because my father required care to a greater extent than would be allowed by the rules. He was provided this care without extra cost. In fact, I liked the payment terms of Side by Side since they did not charge extra for services that other assisted living facilities will add to the bill. This was because about 2/3 of their residents were paid by the state, and the state would not pay for extra services. It was easier for Side by Side to simply have a flat rate for everyone.In summary, I think that having my father stay at Side by Side was the right choice. Eventually his conditioned worsened to the point that he had to be placed in an Alzheimers ward at another facility. He passed away in January after a stay of about 6 months.