The Stages of Alzheimer's: What to Expect

I haven't commented here in a while but I now know my Dad certainly has dementia but has not been diagnosed with Alzheimer's because we have not had him tested. But at this point in his life (age 94 in June) I don't think it matters. I do however understand the mind also wears out along with the body and both his are wearing out!! It's a sad thing for a proud person to be reduced to an infant by this sad and debilitating disease of the mind no matter what it is called. I am 64 and not looking forward to growing older and facing the same challenges as my Dad, Mother (deceased) and countless others. My heart goes out to the proud men and women who have gone before me, for their sacrifice and dedication to our freedoms. I'm sorry they are going through the horrible disease. I guess if we live long enough we do come full circle!! Prayers and blessings for the caretakers and the challenges they are presented with each and every day!!!

I have alz but so far, I can still remember my children's names and where they work but every day I still to be forgetting other things. I can still clean my house, wash and dry and fold and pack away clothes without any problems. I just can't communicate to anybody except my dog....she understands me and so do the grandchildren when they are here. They are Sophie, 9 and Oliver 7 and Lucas who is 2. Thank you, Linda mIller

My Father in law has Alzheimer's. He was diagnosed in 2012. My Mother in law is frustrated and has trouble understanding that it is the illness that makes him ask the same question over and over. My husband and I try to be supportive but we both work full time and their other son has nothing to do with them. FIL had to go into a care home for 3 weeks while MIL had an operation and since he has come home he seems easier to deal with. before he went in to the home he would not leave the house and spent most of the day in bed. he has always been a bit violent towards MIL but this has been made worse by the frustration that he must be feeling. We find it hard to make MIL understand that she needs to be patient with him. We understand that it is also very frustrating for her that he keeps asking but we really don't know how to help

I am so pleased to have found this site. I've been struggling for some time on my own with what strongly suspect is early onset dementia with my husband - although he denies there is anything amiss. It has got to point his children are almost as concerned as me. Crunch time came this week and I've finally spoken to his GP to run through the progressing signs and symptoms - he's immediately going to start tests as part of the normal checkup routines. What a relief! Although I feel awful having to do this, there comes a point where I feel I have to be brave. The day after I spoke to the GP was a very good day and I would almost think I had my husband back except for a couple of repetitive conversations. But he was his happy caring self. I almost thought I was making a mistake in taking to the GP - almost. I will embrace those days and enjoy every moment. Now to wait for some kind of diagnosis - deep down I feel I know what it will be, but knowing for sure will somehow be a relief I think. I hope.

Looking for activities to keep my father with mid sage dementia, entertained. He was a writer but with no short term memory, can no longer read more that a short paragraphs. He has created a "word list" (his own dictionary) and list of puns but is losing interest. He plays a great card game of Crzay 8s. Maybe solitaire for when we can sit with him? Won't do word puzzles. Other ideas?

this article describes more of dementia rather than the staging of actual Alzheimer's Disease

New to site

My husband has alzhiemers . He is in the middle stage. I just went to a support group 2 weeks ago and it was wonderful. I didn't know they had online conversations till now.

This article was helpful as my wife passes from early stage to mid stage. How can I forward it to our local daughter who helps as much as she can with two teenage children in her home. We live in a lifecare facility.

I was diagnosed about 4 years ago and have a wonderful helpful husband of over 50 years which really helps. I forget that I have this disease. we play cards with groups 4 times a week we are 77.

Yes I believe my mom is entering this final stage...her health has rapidly decreased since the Christmas holidays. She is now unable to walk or stand and pretty much confined to bed. Difficultly eating and swallowing..mainly soft foods and lots of liquids. Can do no hygiene for herself. Nurse has visited and her vital signs are all good so that is good news!! Main goal now is to keep her from getting bedsores and keep her comfortable.

Explanations about the different stages of Alzheimers and the tips on how to address the situations.

This article is standing! I have early onset at age 61 and this is very helpful.

Hi Paula, Thank you for sharing how everyone's experience is very personal and unique. My father had Alzheimer's and my mother and I were his caregivers. I am sure the one thing we have in common is how difficult it is to see how this disease consumes our loved one. Karen

giving good examples of symptoms tha are common to each stage

Paula, These "stage" descriptions are so succinct. I learn something helpful from every article you write. Thank you.

I now can diagnose I am in the early stage of Alzheimer's and I now have a vew of my possible life expactancy. The explanation given of the different stages was easy to understand. Did not continu reading about the 5 signs of Alzheimer's because the explanation was so extensive or better said too extensive. So although it can be usefull on the long run it gets boring for me.

This sounds like what is happening with my husband. He was diagnosed with dementia Jan. 2013. I am coping but looking to get connected to a support group and to learn more. So far a lot of trial and error and a lot of learning to cope with his forgetfulness Not being able to depend on him is the hardest part so far, adjusting.

My mother is in the late stage of ALZ. She was diagnosed 10 yrs ago with early onset (now 77) and I have cared for her in my home all this time. I am so frustrated at how the medical community treats (or lack of) ALZ patients. Her dentist refused to see her years ago, her physician said to put her on hospice which I did (she cant walk, incontinent, and totally relies on me for everything). Hospice kicked her off because she wasn't dying fast enough and that she was so well cared for they couldn't believe it. They dropped her on a Friday, offered me no solutions as to other options and said they were coming Monday to take her hospital bed away leaving me on a Friday afternoon to locate another bed for her. The hospice nurse asked me did I believe in God when I asked what I could do. Thanks alot and yes I do. No physician will make home visits because of her insurance (Humana Medicare). I hired a caregiver 8 years ago to stay with her when I am working and then I take care of her every single hour when I get home. I feel that the medical community does NOT care about ALZ and doesn't want to treat them. Am I supposed to be her doctor or drag her to the ED? This disease is cruel but the healthcare system is making it so very difficult to care for her. I will continue to the end as I promised her when she could still talk and understand years ago. This just sucks! Not caring for my mother, which is an honor and out of love, but having to battle healthcare for a woman who worked all her life, paid taxes, has insurance and is an american citizen. I am very scared for all of us in the future.

My Mother passed away Dec. 30, 2012. I wasn't sure how I felt about her passing. Off and on I have felt guilty for not being with her during her last few moments. I did go by and check on her and knew she wouldn't last much longer. (I had a pulled calf muscle and had fell on the ice and hurt my tailbone a few days before) I said my goodbyes and I went home just to get a call 2 hours later with the news. I have kind of felt bad for not staying and then I think about all the times she was so mean to me and my Dad. After her death there were so many things to take care of that I really never had time to grieve. My Dad fell the night before the funeral and wet all over himself. My older, useless brother found him but didn't bother to clean him up. He smelled bad at the funeral and I think he was kind of in shock, he does not remember anything about going to the funeral. He had to have a wheelchair because his legs just didn't work. I could tell he was getting sick so the next day I took him to the doctor, he had pneumonia. It was just one thing after another. After about two weeks or so I felt like a load had been lifted, my Dad was finally feeling better, guest had left and I was finally physically feeling better. I don't mean to sound heartless or uncompassionate but I was relieved. It was hard watching Mom dwindle down to nothing and not be able to do anything to change the outcome. She couldn't do anything for herself the last few months. She actually was forgetting how to swallow and would gag and usually throwup. After seeing what the different stages of alzheimers does to people. I can honestly say it is the most degrading disease a person can have and I hope I don't live long enough to get it. I loved my Mother as much as I could but it was not always easy. I like to think that she is at peace now with a healthy mind and healthy body.

What activites can u do with Alzheimer patients Who have no movement or speach

So many questions and so few answers. I remember reading some where that Alzheimer's could only be diagnosed after death. I guess the memory test could determine dementia, in which lots of people have dementia. I think years ago before they put the name of "Alzheimer's" it was called "hardening of the arteries." I remember my parents referring to an Uncle whose mind was becoming bad and that's what they called it. No matter what name you call it, it is a very degrading and miserable disease. Not only for the person with it but the caregiver trying to understand what's happening to their loved one. It is not an easy journey to take for either. My heart goes out to family members struggling to make life easier for their loved one.

How long does a person usually live with Alzheimer's Disease

Clarity and delineation of specific behaviors to assess stages.

The level of detail was helpful

WE ARE GOING THROUGH THIS RIGHT NOW WITH OUR DAD. I WILL PASS THIS ON TO MY SISTERS AND RELATIVES. IT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING. IT CALLS FOR A SHIFT IN OUR EXPECTATIONS DEMANDS AND ATTENTION SO THAT WE SURVIVE THE CONFUSION AND HELP HIM WITH DIGNITY. IT IS DIFFICULT WHEN ONE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH A LOVED ONE. THANK YOU.

My mum nearly 82 and has severe Alzheimer's however I took the suggestions to go along with what ever she said and it didn't work in my case so I went back to telling her the truth and she seems better with it. If something that she says is untrue I tell her. I am trying to come to terms that soon she will not be around however I still can't. I take her out daily to town on the bus she tries to kill every insect she see's and tries to push people out of the way if they get in front of us. However I think the more you spend with someone with Alzheimer's the more you get used to their habit's. Her doctor never see's her in the last four mouths he has given us two prescriptions one or possible refux and a week ago he gave me antibiotics for a bad cough asked him if he wanted to see her and he said no. Is this normal practice.

How does one ask a question on this site that is not a comment relating to something previously discussed? There is a question I want to ask pertaining to Alzheimer's vs. "dementia" and if there are any significant differences clinically.

By now my husband is having difficulty with dressing himself. Putting on underwear and tshirt by himself if a thing of the past, as is pants and shirt. He laughs at almost everything, even is it is just relatively funny....he lying over in the chair laughing. He has always had a jolly sense of humor..but this is far beyond that!!! When I sy something like look behind me, he's looking in front of me. Can not find the door or drawer to anything!!! Doesnt know where our bedroom is. He will say which one is our... So SAD!!! Going to the store with him is the slowest thing ever. Bless his heart. I think I have finally realized I just have to expect delays. Start early. Get back when we can.I think before long he will be drifting into the last stage. His arms jerk. He shuffies his feet. Hold onto whatever he has with a very strong grip. Sits and stares. Not paying attention to his personal heigene. Sits on the ottonman instead of the chair and woners what's wrong with the chair. Has no sense of direction. Fron nor back of house. The side of the car he is suppose to get into. Sometimes I have to give him step-by-step instructions. I still miss "my husband."

this was like other articles i have read

WE HAVEN/T REACH THIS FINAL STAGE YET, BUT I CAN SEE IT COMING AS EVIDENCED WITH MORE "CHALLENGES, AND NOT A PROBLEM WITH EATING, BUT A LACK OF APPETITE AND - OVER THE PAST YEAR - AN EXCESSIVE WEIGHT LOSS."

Hi Speck, Thanks for your question. Here is where you'll find Q&A on Caring.com: http://www.caring.com/ask That's where experts and other members of the community volunteer their time to answer caregiving questions. Thanks for asking!

As I viewed the questions asked! I wonder does anyone get the answers? I did not see any answers, and I have a lot of the same questions! Like, what to do with getting your spouse to the doctors for an examination? He refuses to think it is him, he thinks I'm hiding his clothes, keys, etc.! He thinks I have Alzheimers! What do you do?

Getting a clear objective picture of what is coming helps me to accept the inevitable and prepare. My prayer is that advances will be slow. But honestly, a part of me just wants it to be over! I am so sad and scared for both of us!

My mother has passed through the first two stages and is now entering into the last one (Severe (Late-Stage) Alzheimer's Disease). I came across this article (or at least something like it) about six years ago, and it really helped my family to be able to interact with our Mom as she slowly slipped through these stages. Its been difficult seeing her personality and energy drain away right before our eyes, but this site, in particular, has been one of hope, encouragement and support for us, the family members of one who has Alzheimer's Disease. Thank you.

It was helpful reading what might happen to my parent, even though it made me sad :(

My remaining aunt is in her mid 90s and has perhaps dementia or Alzheimer's and lives in a private care center over 2 hour's drive from me. I try to visit her once every few months when I am able. Her son gave her a cell phone and also gave her a laminated sheet with perhaps a dozen or more family telephone numbers on it. In the past, she would call me perhaps 2 or 3 times a week and I would take the time to talk to her. In the last six month or so, she is unfortunately calling at least 5-6 times a day sometimes just less than a minute between calls. If I am not home, she will leave a long message on my answering machine and the tape is so filled I cannot receive other messages. I know that she is probably bored and lonely and also just wants to talk to someone. I also know that she is not purposefully calling me to bother me. My simple telephone recording machine is filled up daily with her messages and no one else can leave a message whether it is my doctor, other family members or friends. Have mentioned the situation to the manager of the care canter and requested that they pass the information to my cousin. I have also talked directly to him several times in the last year but nothing seems to have changed. I am currently in a stressful situation after being diagnosed with a brain tumor that according to my doctors does not currently look active but will need additional examinations and tests. I love my aunt and want to provide as much emotional support as I can for her, but am trying to deal with some personal medical issues. Can request that my doctors contact me via the Internet and that would resolve part of the problem. On the times I try and call her once a day, she does not recall our conversation and proceeds to call me several more times that day- sometimes a minute after we talk. Hope that I do not come across as someone who is self centered but right now, my life has become considerably more stressful. I love her and understand that she did not choose to have dementia/Alzheimer's but never realized that the disease could affect others around her. For all of you who are trying to cope with a loved one suffering from the above diseases, my heart and prayers go out to you.

My patient spends a lot of time sleeping, wanders inside home - moving furniture, items nonsensically (put his bathrobe in freezer) But he can still feed himself and has a good appetite. He can dress himself but puts on multiple shirts/slacks/jackets even in near 100 degree heat. Still has angry, combative spells at times. Talks nonsense (words but random) I'm trying to figure out what stage he is in - I guess I'm wondering if I'll be able to hold out to the end as 24/7 caregiver!

Excellent summary

My mother is 76 years old and she is staring to accuse me that i am offending her by getting too much into her life... The other day i took her to her cardiologist and she said I have interrupted her privacy.... and that I said to the doctor that she is not taking her meds as supposed to .. etc... what can I do if this did not even happened?

All comments are helpful on this journey of aging. In the fall we will both reach 85 years old. One day at a time is a blessing. God Bless, Keep the Faith, as we all jouney on. Gene

MY MOM HAS ALZHEIMERS , ANY SUPPORT AND KNOWLEDGE IS HELPFUL.

At age 85, my mom took herself to the doctor's office and asked to be tested for Alzheimer's. He asked her a few basic questions and then set her an appointment with a memory clinic. The clinic gave her a Mini Mental State Examination and sent the results to the doctor who immediately told her she had Alzheimer's and put her on the British version of aricept. A situation arose concerning bad neighbors and she became very depressed. She needed to move. 3 years ago, I got her into an apartment in a retirement community. I noticed her slowly going down hill, but then she had a few falls and was put into a respite home last January. She went downhill fast, losing the ability to walk, yet she never forgot who I was when we spoke on the telephone. She passed away on my birthday, last October, 3 days after they had told me she may not last the week. I didn't get to say goodbye my passport didn't make it on time.

On what symptoms is Alzheimer's diagnosed. How can the doctors be sure it is Alzeimer's and not dementia?

Information about the stages was very helpful. My mom is 93 she's having trouble with family member's names like my aunt's grandchildren. But then there are other members (her brother's grandchildren) who have not been close to us (we only saw them when they were 5 and 6 tops) and now that they are teens and young adults she can't remember them. They live in Petersburg, Va. and we live in New York so we only see them in the summer. She sent them gifts regularly for Christmas but we didn't see them often. Heck, I can't remember either. However, sometimes she forgets who a niece or nephew is, now that's person she should remember because they are in my age range (62). The communication information was helpful because she now refuses to push buttons to dial the phone, cannot remember phone numbers and refuses to answer the phone. HELP!:-D

Keep these types of articles coming. Which I had seen this one two years ago it would have helped me with the care of my mother and probably not put my father in the grave as early had he seen this.

very interesting artical. Useful information for someone like me who is not educated on the progression of Alzheimer's.

First thanks for the hugs and prayers. I need more patience I think. My Mom sure knows how to hurt me and I allow her to do it. I took her home for a little while last week and it was a mistake. She ended up telling me and my Dad that we just didn't want to be bothered by her. She said we were the ones keeping her in the nursing home and since we don't care just take her back. I said "Let's go" and away we went. On the way back I told her "she had always been mean and hateful to me. Stupid me I keep coming back for more." She didn't say a word. My Dad and I are the only consistent visitors she has, so therefore we are conspiring against her. The only time she sees my Dad is when I take him. My brother doesn't have time....The other brother doesn't want to be bothered. 2 weeks ago she was crying and telling the nurses that my Dad was divorcing her and he was at the lawyers office. Then she said he was having an affair. She accused some of the nurses of having an affair with him. She has been so mean and hateful to me and my Dad all through the years that I wonder if she is having a guilty conscience. She always told me he didn't give me enough spankings and accuses him of doing more for me than the boys. Even though she has a favorite and she and Dad have helped him all his life, $100's of thousands worth of help and he still filed bankruptcy. But he is the one they thought should be the administrator of their estate. She gets jealous if Dad throws me a crumb. She has always said hateful things to me and my Dad. For years she tried everything in the book to turn us kids (3) against him. It pissed her off because we didn't. The reason it didn't work was because we all knew her and how she operated. She has always been jealous of my relationship with my Dad. She always worked in town and my Dad raised me. It pissed her off when I would get sick or hurt. But my Dad was always the one that comforted me and checked on me not her. She wasn't even nice to her own Mother who died at age of 68. She can be nice but when she gets hateful It takes away all the good things she has done. I am getting to the point of not wanting to go and see her. I have a hard time thinking that is the Alzheimer's, since she has always been that way. Sometimes I would like to be like my brothers, a NO SHOW!

The statement that eating habits change and personality changes when tired. Thank you!!!!!

It's been almost 2 years since I discovered and commented on this site. I am now in the process of watching both parents whither and dwindle away in front of me. We finally put my Mother in a nursing facility in October of 2011. My Dad and I go and see her 3 to 4 times a week. I have 2 useless brothers and I am wore out. When my Mom has a tantrum because she isn't getting her way, she gets so ugly with me. I sometimes don't want to go and see her but I do because it is important to my Dad. I have one brother who lives close (2 miles) but the other lives 3 hours away. My close brother is always too busy and in my parents eyes is not accountable. I live 20 miles away but I always manage to go and cook for my Dad. make sure he has his meds and pay all the bills, buy the groceries and take him to see Mom. I do my Moms laundry (thanks to my Dad) and every thing else she needs done. I can't depend on my brothers for anything. I am emotionally and physically exhausted! My house looks like a wreck and every thing outside (farm) is undone. On top of all that and more, I have to hear my Mom asking to go home every time we go and see her. Then I have to listen to my Dad, all the way home, telling me how much she wants to go home. It is the most depressing situation I have ever been in. When I get home I just collapse. My mom can't take care of herself and my Dad can't take care of her. Her mind is bad enough that she can't remember from one minute to the next. Last year when she was still at home I spent countless hours looking for things that she said she had never seen. Trying to get bills straightened out because she forgot to pay them, finding out that some things she paid twice. She couldn't remember anything. But "heaven for bid" she take something that might would have slowed the progression of Alzheimer's, she didn't need anything for her memory because hers was fine. Even though she had ordered some kind of "Brain Vitamin" from some infomercial (to the tune of $194.00 every shipment) and when they came she didn't know what they were for and why some company would be sending her pills. Then every 2 or 3 months she would get another supply (she give them her checking account and routing number) I finally got it stopped and part of her money back but it was something like that all the time. I think if I liked to drink I would be an alcoholic by now. It's sometimes too much for me. This is a good place to whine and feel sorry for my self and right now I am feeling pretty crummy!! Thanks for this site!!!

I also wanted to mention that Coconut Oil is NOT full of "empty" calories. The diet one should follow, a "Ketone diet" is very much like the Atkins diet, which is low in Carbohydrates("empty calories), low in Protein, but do not cut out protein, and higher in fat. Coconut Oil should be that fat. Most doctors and dieticians are not bothered by the fat calories in Coconut Oil. It is widely used, and has been for many, many decades, in the tropics where coconuts grow. It is used on the skin, in the hair, on babies, and in cooking. They have very few instances of AD, and Very little heart disease. These statements can be easily checked if interested, and I still suggest reading the book I mentioned yesterday.

I forgot to mention, and it is important, that a "ketone diet" should be followed as much as possible. Since you are able to get online, search for a "ketone diet" with Google or whoever you use to search.

PoloMom: I did say that Coconut Oil is a food, not a medicine. If you read the book I mentioned, you would not have the attitude you have. And for the others regarding brain cell death. Whatever cells have died, they can't be brought back. BUT, the ketones feed the remaining brain cells that were being deprived of glucose, which is what nourished them before the ketones took over, so brain cell death has been stopped or at least slowed. As for how long this works, it probably is different in everyone. And, who expects to live forever anyway? I have told of what I absolutely know, and I am not into wishful thinking.

Joseph: You don't want to give up because the brain isn't destroyed it just has gotten messed up with tau causing short circuits. You know and I know that there is always a cure for practically any disease. It's just a matter of finding it. The doctors really haven't a clue most of the time. They only know how to operate, ( which at times saves lives ) but mostly they peddle drugs that cover symptoms and don't cure. Coconut oil does work on a lot of people depending what exactly is causing their problem. It certainly helped my wife. I'm also looking into a new find that has been working. I'll try and report on it soon as I find it has a chance. Dave Saalfeld Major USAF ret.

I have AD & FTD and have not comment in a long time. I have followed this wonder "cure" coconut oil for over a year now. It seems to act like the meds some it helps for some time others, not. No raining on anyones parade, but dead brain matter is dead, period, things can help it to reroute things, but the ties are never what they were. I wonder how you loved one will feel when they hit the wall, which they will, when the CO stops working. I have read the book watched the video's, but all the knowledge that i have left and have learned THERE IS NO CURE or KNOWN CAUSE for AD as of yet. a 1000 reasons and a 1000 cures or aids later, it still takes 2-10 years from first diagnosis for the vast majority of us with AD to leave this world. Jump all ovre my ass all you want 7 years has not shown me antyhing different.

ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO HAVE RELATIVES WITH ALZHEIMERSK, START USING ABOUT 3-4 OUNCES OF COCONUT OIL. IF THE PATIENT ISN'T IN THE LAST THROWS OF THE DISEASE THEY WILL GET BETTER. MY WIFE WAS AT THE POINT WHERE SHE COULDN'T EAT NORMALLY OR TALK. jUST A JUMBLED SPEACH AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS SAYING. NOW SHE TALKS NORMAL AND IS MUCH BETTER AT EATING. IT WORKS. GOD BLESS. DAVE SAALFELD MAJOR USAF RET

I really appreciated the comments about the use of coconut oil in regard to your friend's husband seeing an improvement in his wife with second stage dementia/Alzheimers. For the past several weeks I have been adding 2 Tbspns of coconut oil to my husband's oatmeal every morning I wanted to give him more during the day, but was always reluctant about the proportions.The proportions provided in your comments are very helpful to me. Even though coconut oil is high in calories, I have learned to compensate when preparing other low fat meals each day. Unless it is harmful to the patient to use it, it's worth a try. It cannot hurt. Anyone have a good tasty salad dressing? Can it be combined with oilive oil. in a salad dressing.These oils are so important for our good health and the health of our loved one Thank you. Hugs and prayers Ms Bonita

Marysm----Coconut Oil is just a fat and full of empty calories. It may help--I don't know. I do know, however with 2-4 TBS. one is talking about more than 200 to 400 calories. This may just be enough to supress the desire to eat, for someone that is not very mobile and no real nutrition consumed.

My friend who has 2nd stage "dementia" and is on Virgin Coconut Oil, has as her caretaker, her husband. He is so happy with her progress, and he calls it quote "I don't care who doesn't believe...it is a Miracle!" Coconut Oil is metabolized in the liver and produces Ketones, which nourish the brain cells that haven't been able to get the glucose they need. Being nourished by the ketones, which substitute for glucose, prevents the cell death with resulting Plaques found at autopsy in Alz. patients. it is so worth the try! What have you got to lose? You have everything to gain! I have talked to some doctors here in FL and some are all for it. Coconut Oil is a food....NOT a medicine. Start at 1 tsp with each meal and at bedtime. Keep a journal faithfully. Increase gradually to 2-4 tablespoons with meals. Cook with it, use it on toast, corn on the cob, whatever you use to fry with. Best wishes, and reply with your progress.

Read the book, available at Amazon.com called "Alzheimer's Disease: What If There Was a Cure?" written by a doctor from Florida whose husband is an Alzheimer's victim. The book chronicles his progress from the use of Coconut Oil. It has also helped my best childhood friend from going from "zombiehood" to participating fully in life....Truly!

Lost my mother to this disease, very hard to understand it asshe was a Vice President in a major bank and never would have thought it could ever happen to her. The one thing I will say is for all the children of Alzheimers patients although it is to late to get long term care for your parent you should however get it for yourself because this disease has depleted my mothers estate and before medicaid kicks in you have to have spent down all your money.....tragic and I donate all the time to Alzheimers research and i pray they find a cure for this.

From the point of view of an Alzheimer's patient..... Coping with the reality of 'not getting better' is an adjustment that is often hard to make. Suggestions?

Learning about the different behaviors as my beloved husband will probably progress to some if not all of those behaviors, is very helpful to know what to expect. Thank you.

This article is very interesting . My mother is in the mild to moderate stage. some things mentioned she is doing now, Glad I read this ,very informative

I can tell you that Aricept is useless as are all the other prescriptions for alzheimers. I know because my wife has been in a home for almost 3 years. About 3 weeks ago I had the nurse in her home start giving her 3-4 ounces of virgin coconut oil in her water. My wife was extremely bad. couldn't talk and was just gibberish and she can't eat normally anymore as they forget how to swallow and it gets hung up in their lungs and they get pneumonia. She had it twice. So I insisted the doctor allow her the coconut oil. He did not want to as all they are interested in is giving you drugs. Here it is 3 weeks later and she's talking normally. She has gained pounds and I really expect her to get a very great deal better as it is kept up. So if your just getting alzheimers I would definitely put this regimin to work immediately. I absolutely lose faith in doctors. Once in a while it probably pays to see one but I'm 89 and have always used natural medicines and You would think I'm about 60 maybe. As a matter of fact I have cured my angina I had 6 years ago myself. My heart is fine now. Go to a chiropractor or naturepath and get some supplements called "Standard Process" They are sold only by doctors. Regular MDs could sell them to you but they are ignorant of any supplements and won't use them. So go to Your Chiro or naturepath. They all know what they are and can get them for you. They are 85 years old now and started by a doctor who always believes in natural medicine. He was an MD. They have absolutely wonderful laboratories and natural food farms. The supplements all have live cultures in them and really work. Believe me. The vitamins they sell you in drug stores and natural food stores are pretty well garbage and really don't work. Happy day and God bless. Dave Saalfeld Major USAF Ret.

I can tell you that Aricept is useless as are all the other prescriptions for alzheimers. I know because my wife has been in a home for almost 3 years. About 3 weeks ago I had the nurse in her home start giving her 3-4 ounces of virgin coconut oil in her water. My wife was extremely bad. couldn't talk and was just gibberish and she can't eat normally anymore as they forget how to swallow and it gets hung up in their lungs and they get pneumonia. She had it twice. So I insisted the doctor allow her the coconut oil. He did not want to as all they are interested in is giving you drugs. Here it is 3 weeks later and she's talking normally. She has gained pounds and I really expect her to get a very great deal better as it is kept up. So if your just getting alzheimers I would definitely put this regimin to work immediately. I absolutely lose faith in doctors. Once in a while it probably pays to see one but I'm 89 and have always used natural medicines and You would think I'm about 60 maybe. As a matter of fact I have cured my angina I had 6 years ago myself. My heart is fine now. Go to a chiropractor or naturepath and get some supplements called "Standard Process" They are sold only by doctors. Regular MDs could sell them to you but they are ignorant of any supplements and won't use them. So go to Your Chiro or naturepath. They all know what they are and can get them for you. They are 85 years old now and started by a doctor who always believes in natural medicine. He was an MD. They have absolutely wonderful laboratories and natural food farms. The supplements all have live cultures in them and really work. Believe me. The vitamins they sell you in drug stores and natural food stores are pretty well garbage and really don't work. Happy day and God bless. Dave Saalfeld Major USAF Ret.

The content and ability to recognize what is and will likely be the next stages my parent will go through.

My husband is 79 and has had AD for aprox. 6 years now. He is on Lxapro because he was getting agitated and seeminly having difficulty with everyting. I believe it has helped although he falls asleep all the time. He really doesn't read anymore.....and stares at me or just closes his eyes even while standing up. It's as if he just waits for me and my next move. he is eating well....And we are tryig not to let him have any alcohol...although he feels so out of it when everyone else does.... this is so sad....and difficult......I had to stay in the bathroom this morning and insturct him in his showering etc.... How much longer will I be able to keep him at home? He is not incontinent and is usually content.....thank you

How long should I let my mom sleep in the morning, should I contiue taking her for walks even if she's beginning to shuffle her feet? there are soooo many questions now as her disease seems to begin to worsen? Should I just let her eat what she wants even if it seems to be the same thing. We are taking an elevn hour trip to the ocean to visit my daughter and her kids and husband. Is this a good idea?? Thankyou for your answers/comments.

My husband has dementia and is partiall

My mum who has Alzheimer's goes out everyday and can feed herself hopefully it will stay like that for a long time, I have noticed if I laugh around her a lot she starts smiling. She do hear things a lot especially her name being called over and over again and she always thinks there are people in the house like doctors and nurses which she says she do not want to see. We refused anti sychotic drugs because we were worried that we would lose her personality completely. Even though they say she has severe dementia I know there is part of her still there.

Every sentence is meaningful and helpful to me in helping to understand the changes that life brings, Thank you so much !!! Gene Taylor

My precious Downs Syndrome sister Eileen Bonnie died January 15, 2012, her birthday would have been the next day, January 16, 1955. She died peacefully, at least as much as anyone of us can tell. The end came about one month earlier than her Doctor and hospice had projected. She is gone to soon for her big sister, that fought so hard to get the best of everything for her. It is now very empty. Eileen came to live with us after our Moms death 15 years ago. She was a huge joy for both my husband and me. We watched her bloom into a wonderful young lady with a dry funny wit. Just as we watched our beautiful little rosebush grow and produce beautiful roses, we then suffered the pain of watching her fade away into a shell of what she had become. We had the best of all worlds, the joy of the perfect young lady that was so much fun, without the negatives of a teenagers actions. We went everywhere and did everything together, ships, planes, concerts, fine dinning, we had it all. We can shed tears that Eileen is gone, or we can smile because she has lived. We can close our eyes and pray that she'll come back, or we can open our eyes and see all she's left us. Our hearts can be empty because we can't see her. We can turn back on tomorrow and live in yesterday, or we can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. We can remember her and only that she is gone, or we can cherish her memory and let it live on. All we can do is what she would want: smile, try to open our eyes, love and go on... We are trying so hard to realize that: Those we love don't go away, They walk beside us every day in a different way, Unseen, unheard, but always near, Still so very loved, still missed, and so very special and dear to us.

Understanding that what we are experiencing with our family member is normal for Alzheimer's.. Also was able to determine that she is in late stage.

THE VALUE OF HAVING ADVANCED NOTIFICATION OF WHAT TO EXPECT.

SPECIFICATION OF WHAT TO EXPECT. THE ONLY "WEAK" SPOT IS THE LACK OF AVERAGE TIMING OF CHANGES BASED UPON ORIGINAL DIAGNOSIS.

Yes, this article helped to clarify dad's Alzheimer/Dementia. According to this article, he is in a severe- late stage. I really miss very, very much the healthy, jolly, active and delightful human being he was. For the father and soldier he was we'll stay by his side 'till the end.

JUST FINISHED READING THE ENTIRE ARTICLE. VERY LENGTHY AND TIME CONSUMING, BUT I RECOMMEND IT TO ALL WHO HAVE A LOVED ONE WITH THIS TERRIBLE PROBLEM. GEEZER81.

SPECIFICS RELATIVE AS TO WHAT IS "COMING DOWN THE ROAD". IT GIVES US CARETAKERS TIME TO PREPARE SAFETY FACTORS, WHAT TO EXPECT, AND TIME TO THINK ABOUT HOW WE MUST ACT AND REACT. GEEZER81

Yes, Just got word my mother is in moderate to severe dementia. This explains a lot of her systems.

am concerned that alzheimers is herreditory and I am being told things that I have been told before I do not remember. what should I do ?

It helps me understand why we have to be careful how we share his diagnosis with people. Most people associate dementia with this final stage and their sympathy isn't appropriate at this early stage. At his age, 83, and the slow rate his dementia has progressed so far, he may die before he ever gets to the final stages, but maybe not.

very clear specific things that will happen

Not to me my husband has been more or less the same for the last 4 years. maybe even longer than that I think they all are different Thanks

CLARIFICATION OF THE VARYING CHANGES HELPED A LOT. MY WIFE'S AFFECTS SEEM TO BE A MIX BETWEEN STAGES. VERY MINIMAL SHORT TERM MEMORY - MINUTES DOWN TO SECONDS. OBSERVANCE ON CHANGING CONDITIONS - WEATHER, DARK-LIGHT - HOWEVER ARE VERY CLEAR TO HER AND HANDLED ACCORDINGLY. NO PROBLEMS WITH PROPER DRESSING, OR PERSONAL HYGIENE. HAS LOST CONSIDERABLE WEIGHT. SHE WAS 118-124 IN THE BEGINNING. LAST WEEK - 94.5 LBS. NOW A VERY LIGHT EATER. FREQUENT COMMENT AFTER EATING A SMALL MEAL, "I FEEL LIKE I JUST HAD A FULL THANKSGIVING DINNER". COMMENTS AND/OR SUGGESTIONS MOST WELCOME. GEEZER81

Mom is 90 yrs old next month, has been in a Skilled Nursing Facility for 12 mos. She's progressed into the last stage for the last 6 mos and was recommended for hospice by her physician, she's been bed bound for 8 mos and totally dependant on feeding and basics. the last 3 wks following a fever due possibly to a UTI seems to have moved this terrible process along. She no longer communicates, her pain meds were increased as well as Ativan for her anxiety episodes have been regularly scheduled to ensure she is not in any kind of physical or mental discomfort. She appears to be in a dream state as she reaches for things, I'm assuming persons she "sees" in her mind and just previous to this decline she was crying and asking for her mother, brother and those that have gone on before her. As hard as it is to deal with this slow degeneration the hospice protocols have allowed her to make this transition less painfully. She was recently diagnosed as "actively dying", her breathing has become shallow, she's non responsive to conversation or physical contact, consumes less than 1 cup of food a day. I still go in the evening after work to see if she will eat or drink and talk to her so she knows I"m there and assure her it's okay to let go to go be with Dad and to save a place for me; any kind of assurance that I can give her that will give her peace. My heart goes out to you all that are experiencing this with your loved one and encourage you to take care of yourself in the process as this disease left unchecked leaves the immediate careproviders emotionally exhausted. Find what refills your well of hope, love and support and take the time to invest in yourself. Don't let it take you as well.

We are at the non-verbal, and most normal movement has ceased. It is so difficult to watch my funny little sister just laying in the bed, or proped up on a sofa or wheel chair. I can only hope that some secondary action, speeds up this painful last chapter of her precious life.

It's very sad but now I kno exactly wits happening 2 my gma. I don't kno how were gona get thru this either cuz it just gets worse! But I'm glad I found this article.

THE VARIETY OF ITEMS.

The different stages--sometimes they seem to overlap or have good days where they are almost the person they used to be especially the early to moderate stages.

We fit into the category of Is it age? Is it just stress or tiredness? we are not going to a doctor yet to find out if he has Dementia or not. I feel as though it is too soon for the doctor to be able to diagnose it. Am I wrong?

I'm going through all of these problems with my wife, Lately I can't seem to do anything right and she yells at me for everything and seems to think that I'm trying to do things to confuse her and is very paranoid about her possessions, it is getting more difficult almost on a daily basis to take care of all of her demands

My mom has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. To get to the diagnosis was a 3 year process. We guess it began in 1997 (we found a letter she wrote to her sister dated 97 and didn't send it) she mentions fear of developing Alzheimer's. To make a long story short it was not until 7 years ago when my dad died we wondered what was happening to her blaming it on grief. 4 years ago we received the diagnosis. We take shifts my sister, brother and I trying to care for her and our own families. She is home, we spend nights. The Article was helpful I now know she is entering the later stage. We promised her (a former geriatric nurse) we would never put her in a nursing home. We can't keep that promise. We pray. while we wait for a bed.

important concise, to the point information.

This was very helpful as my husband is in the beginning stages of dementia.

Hello: I was wonderiing why there is so little mention of how to accommodate the needs of the Alzheimer sufferer when they get the onset of dysphagia. The caregiver needs to provide pureed foods for this stage in order to keep them from getting dehydrated and suffer from malnutrition. What percentage of Alzheimer sufferers do get stage one dyshpagia? My father had it. Thank You, Karen Betz

im from the philippines and residing in dubai. i have tried to search on the web if there are institutions in our country that can help us financially. sad thing i havent seen any and saw this site and thought of leaving a message hoping that someone out there touches their heart and be able to help us. im working here in dubai to support my brothers back home but just got laid off and then found out that my brother has alzheimers. im really having a hard time not been able to see him and even take care of him. we dont have parents anymore and im scared to loose my brother. at an early age (36) he is suffering frm this illness and complications occured , its quite hard to believe but after reading the articles of alzheimers i had a clear understanding. now he is at the hospital and we hope that miracles will happen. please pray for my brother...thanks

yes, it was definitely helpful. My mom is 81 and in a nursing home in the last stages. However, she still has her speech. In the past couple of months, her motor skills have declined a lot. She needs to be fed now more than before. It's hard for her to hold a spoon and a glass. She has lost weight because she is not eating well. 2 weeks ago, she had been constipated and was so out of it that she gave a horrible scare! Now, she has sprung back like herself but not like her "old self". So, I don't know what that event was. She has been asking for water a lot? She has slurred speech, especially in the evenings. Before, we used to talk to her on the phone daily around 7 pm. Now, that is not possible every day. We did that because she used to get depressed and used to ask to be taken home. Oh! this is a horrible diseas to see someone that you love so much to deterioate right in front of your eyes and slowly to make matters worse. One of the worst moments for me has been when she calls out for her "Mom"!! That crushes my heart into uncountable pieces! She is doing much better now. The doctor gave her a stool softner but it gave her stomach cramps. However, we have noticed a significant decline in her and I am not happy about it at all. I just love her so much and I wish she could be MY mom again and not ask for her mom!!

We(my wife) are in early stage. I feel like I am standing on the rail road track and a train is coming.

Thanks for the information. My mother who is soon to be 89 is currently living in an assisted living program . She does not have a formal diagnosis, but I suspect she suffers from many of the charateristics. Therefore I have some questions regarding the progression of Alzheimers Disease. Is it common for one to flucuate from one stage mild to moderate then back to mild from day to day or week to week. She spends alot of time walking throughout the facility ,opening the doors of the other residents, stepping inside, seeing or hearing them state they are in their respective room, and then she exits. Apparently she recognizes she is not in her room when they speak to her and will leave. The facility has attempted to reduce this wandering through medication(which I do not agree is the solution), putting red stop signs on the outside of the doors she tends to frequently open. They have even gone to the extreme of putting the child proof safety door covers on the handles of the rooms. The facility has not shared how effective this strategy is, but I don't think this is an acceptable standard of the facilities licensing agent.. Any suggestions are welcomed.

My lady has had Alzheimers for 9yrs + and your comments are right on. This is a very emotional time for me, she still knows my name which is GOOD. Late stage is very difficult after 69 yrs.

Just to see what lies ahead.

Trying to put my husband in one of the categorys? is hard

Realistic representations of each stage were very helpful. Both my parents are in the middle stage, but I see them beginning to enter the end stage as their diseases progress. Mom has Alzheimer's, but Dad has Diffused Lewy Body Dementia, which is a double whammy. It combines symptoms of Parkinson's Disease as well as Alzheimer's. Both Mom and Dad need their food cut into small bite-sized pieces and don't like anything chewy. Dad has trouble using a knife and fork simultaneously. It saddens me to see my once vigorous, lively parents now acting as if they are infants; I try very hard, especially with my husband's help, to find Mom and Dad in these shells. Prayer is a wonderful outlet, too. Dad still says the evening benediction, even though it takes him longer, as his speech has been affected, and he stutters constantly and is fatigued by any long conversation. I took Mom to the craft store. I thought the lights and colors of the fall holidays would cheer her, but she wanted to leave after less than 30 minutes, even though I was pushing her in a wheelchair. I'll keep trying to keep them interested in life as long as I can. I am grateful to Caring.com for this website. It helps me stay as grounded as I can.

oh how true. If you have seen one person with Alzheimer's you have only seen one person with Alzheimer's. I do not fit the pattern but have it.

It was a good simple to understand overview of changes one can expect in AD.

I found this article extremely helpful. My husband has Alzheimer's Disease. He can be verbally aggressive, never physically. Yesterday, I smelt of filth and today, the food I served him was fit for the bucket. I took it away from him and a little while later he himself, heated it up in the microwave, ate it all and said it was the best meal he'd had in years. I find the hurt hard to deal with and sometimes have to shut myself in the bedroom to have good cry.

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT EVERYONE IS SAYING ABOUT THE CARE OF A LOVED ONE, AS THIS DISEASE PROGRESSES, THANK YOU

The wording of the article was very clear and understandible.

It has reminded me of where we have been with the illness, and at what stage Richard is at now. His speech is now mostly nonsensical and I feel at a loss with this when I am visiting him. I will try to take his mind away by bringing up a topic but this doesn't work. Although he usually recognises me when I visit, I am coming away with an empty feeling.

I'm new to the forum. My mother is 85 years old. I don't know the alzheimer stage she is in. They seem to overlap in her case. She is very aggressive, with short and long term memory loss, never recognize a face after seeing the person, sundowning, obsessive. On the other hand she reads the newspaper daily, prepares her breakfast, and dress without help.She sometimes confuses my husband of 34 years with another person. So is really very hard to place her on a stage. She is seeing a neurologist now, but still I don't have any diagnosis. After giving her a mini mental, she gave her an exelon patch. Heer family doctor gave her zoloft 25 mg once daily because she was too excited and aggressive. Thanks a lot for listening!!

Hello Anonymous, Thank you very much for your comment. If you'd like, you can post your question in our Ask & Answer section, here: ( http://www.caring.com/ask ). Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

will a acute uti cause seizure in a alzheimer patient

My husbend has some of the Simptons you mencheand. It was helpfull to me what to exspect next. Thank You

Reading about the early stages and then what to look for as it progresses.

Being able to identify what stage my parent maybe in.

This article accurately identifies the symptons that I have witnessed in my mother.

the information has been a great help in identifying the symptoms one experience when dealing with this horrible disease.

yes

Hi Anonymous, Thank you very much for your question. We have a great section with articles about paying for care, here: ( http://www.caring.com/paying-for-care ). I hope that helps. Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Greetings All, What are you to do if you can't afford a nursing home? Leave them out for the garbage men? Tnak you

Hi spikey, Welcome to Caring.com! I'm glad you found us. I'm sorry to hear about the situation you are in, that must be very difficult for you. One great place to discuss your caregiving situation is in our forums section, here: ( http://www.caring.com/forums). In our forums you can share advice and stories with other caregivers. Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

I stumble on this site and decided to write. My husband has alzheimer and has been in assisted living for 2 years this. I put him there because I no longer could deal with him. He drank all the time and was an abusive smoker. We will be married for 60 years this year. I felt I could longer deal with him, now that he had alzheimer on top of the other things. He was a good provider and we have 3 wonder children but I don't think I was in love with him, I heard once that you must have a good marriage to be able to deal with a spouse with alzheimer. I have a lot of anger, and don't know how to release it. I know I should forget and forgive, but can't seem to be able. I have to say there good times when he was not drinking. Thank you for letting me vent!

STARTING TO FORGET WHERE I LEFT THING--M.GOODKIN

The stages of the disease. My mother shows most all of the symptoms of moderate Alz. Thank you Alz.

Hi Bugaboo18, Thank you very much for your comments, sorry to hear that you didn't find this article useful. I am very glad to hear that you got this information from your doctor, many don't! For more information on Alzheimer's and symptoms, check out this article Symptoms and Stages of Alzheimer's Disease (http://www.caring.com/articles/alzheimers-stages). You can also find additional information on Alzheimer's disease in our Alzheimer's topic center (http://www.caring.com/alzheimers). I hope you find these resources useful. Thanks again, and take care -- Emily | Community Manager

It confirms how my husband is now. Any other disease or surgical procedure is better than watching a loved one die like this.

This was helpful to me because it made me see things my mom is doing fits the profile.

It made me see some of my mothers actions fit right into this disease.

I feel that this was all the basic answers and questions that are discussed in the doctors office of your loved one in about 5 minutes. I thought the article would of detailed in more on each stage. All of the stages you wrote about what just an introduction to each of the stages. As far as the end stage which we ALL know is bedridden and the one you care for is no longer able to do anything and we ALL already know that when the loved one dies, it really isn't from the ALZHEIMERS but from another health problem. So, in my opinion, this article was useless due to the fact that the doctors all tell you this the first day you walk into their office telling them the symptoms that your loved one has and automatically it is "Dementia" or "Alzheimers" that come out of their mouth and to watch for the above signs. What this article meant to me when read was just pointless, should of been a little more detailed about each and every stage, but to each is own.

they whole stage thing.

with medication you can stave off the anger the patient expresses,without medicine forget it you may have a health issue yourself trying to cope with a person that doesnt have a clue--care givers be especilly aware you may get so stressed out that your senses may take a back seat to what is right and get yourself burnt out,then nobody gains.

I am new to this site but have found alot of info helpful. I am one of 6 children but the only one taking care of mom. I moved in with her to care for grandma aug 08, and within 6 months realized mom needed to see a specialist. I'll back up, I got grandma out of a nursing home 8-08, and told her I'd care for her until she passed. Grandma has old age mental problems, and is very frail. she is now less than 70 lbs, 95 yrs old and most of the time a sweetheart. she has broke her neck 2 times in her life. I love her dearly but know that I need more time to care for mom. doctors found a baseball size cysts of spinal fluid in mom's brain. may of 09 we were in surgery and she has a shunt, did it work? no. of course I don't know how bad she would have been w/o it. She has Alzheimers and the cysts makes it worse. I have been told she is in late stages, but they keep trying physical therapy etc, she can hardly walk, and that is straight, her back is curved, hold her head of to the side, picks at herself all the time. I am no on antidepressants, feeling a little better, but wonder what at my age, 54, will become of me. no job, I can't work, I have no help from family, they hardly call anymore. I think mom knows it. the county does help me 4 hours a week. I'm tired out. I couldn't even get to my daughter when she gave birth, my granddaughter was born dead, and I couldn't get there. I get to see my home once every 3 months for a few hours. Money is running out, and will have to sell something. anyone want to talk feel free to email me. I will reply asap.

My husbands decline has been dramatic. He complained about his memory to a doctor in 2004. Last year he became very disorientated and could not tell the time. He seems to have rattled through all the stages He used to walk a lot, climb mountains and play golf. He was very intelligent and ran his own company. Since November he can no longer walk, is either in bed asleep ( a lot) or in a wheelchair. and we now have 24 hour nursing. He still eats well, and in his world worrying about meetings. He has been very docile, and his manners are impeccable, He has to have everything done for him, He is very thin and frail. I have always joined in his fantasy world so he didn't get frustrated. One doctor told me he could just slip away after 6 months and another gave him 2 years. He will always stay at home. The emotional roller coaster is terrible. My heart goes out to each and every one of you and for those coping on their own my admiration has no words. I am disabled and have to have help and know what a relentless job it is. I know God found him for me and I offer up this time of my life with total love and thanks for 32 years.

reading about the different stages, I'm able to get a clue as to what stage my husband is at.

It is helpful to know what to expect and how to handle the different stages.

your articles help to keep my sanity when our family is around, which is not often enough,they think he is almost normal, however, when they leave, things change when things get worse i bring up your articles and re read them it helps to calm me down thanks

yes for someone that is new to the symptoms and hasnt had info avail to them this is helpful. i have read and searched info about AD and this is pretty much to the point thanks

very good information on the stages of Alzheimer disease.

I found it quite interesting and clearly exposed

I'M NOT SURE WHAT STAGE MY HUSBAND IS. NONE OF THE THREE FIT EXACTLY BUT THE LAST ONE WAS CLOSER.

It's confirmed where my parent is in the process and as hard as it is to anticipate what will be next. My Mom has gone from mild to mid within 6 mos. Resolving that this time is as good as it will ever be is a challenge but it allows me to prepare myself and other family members so we can weather the unkind storm ahead.

So much of what was said I see already. I would say my husband is in stage 2, but a very laid back man, not aggressive at all (thank goodness), but doesn't talk much and some of his words are getting garbled. He has fallen a few times and his walking is weak. A physical therapist from Medicare comes once a week but I try to make him do easy exercizes so walking with a cane is possible. I am very lonely and will be looking into joining a caregivers group as I have 4 hrs. from an aide from Monday thru Friday.

Defining and breaking down the symptoms and their escalation.

all of it

My Mom is in the early-late stage. The interesting thing is that she has actually improved slightly over the past year and a half. The only thing that changed was she had niacinimide added to her medication routine at my request. Just a thought for the rest of you to ask you loved one's doctor about.

I am a caregiver for my husband who is in mid term Alz. and starting in the late stages. I also care for his 88 year old mother who is in late stages. It is begining to get pretty tough on me. I am seeing where it is going to become necessary to put his mom in a home and I hate to, because my husband was an only child and and most of her immediate family have passed on. I know when she goes in a nursing home I am not going to have the time to visit as I should and it makes me feel so guilty, and like I am abanding her. But I feel it is getting time to give all my attention to my husband and give him as much care and love as I can while he still knows me.

I now know that my husband is in the middle stage that is helpfull Tank you

Good

I recognized some of the symptoms my husband is already experiencing. But now I know what to be on the lookout for in the future. Very insightful article.

It gave me a glimpse into our future..Gillian

My mom is eighty three years old. She has forgot who her kids are. My daughter and I take care of her. She believes I'm her sister and sometimes her mom. It really hard seeing her like this. We have always been close and now I can't even talk to her about anything. I feel like I lost her already but I can't see her go into a home. I want to cry every time I think of her going to a home.

As a caregiver for my rapidly aging mother, I worry about Alzheimer's everyday. I will be sure to watch out for these early stage symptoms. I read here: http://blog.homecareassistance.com/?p=1563 that it may be possible to delay Alzheimer's disease by learning a second language. Because of this I practice a little bit of new Spanish with my mother every day. She really seems to enjoy it as well.

QUITE A LOT WAS VERY HELPFUL. AS I CAN SEE A LOT OF WHAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW

My wife is "lost" all the time. She never knows where she is, doesn't recognize our home most of the time. She frequently does say she likes our living room, but in the same breath may ask who lives here. I have her registered in the "Safe Return" program of the Alzheimer's Association. I have yet to rely on them to bring her back. The only times she has "got away" when we were out was when I needed to go to the men's room. Store clerks or State Park rangers have brought her back in those cases. "Family" public restrooms are a big help. An extra lock on our door so that she can't leave our condo unit by herself.

thank you to all i ceep lening from this

My fater passed away in 1970 from ALS, actually pneumonia , as stated above. His started with a twitching in his arm. Now I know how horrible this disease must have been for him. Not many people with the exception ofr Lou Gehrig had been diagnosed and not many doctors even knew the symptoms. I keep up with this and contribute to ALSTDI so that if one of my children were to develope this disease, I can be better equipped to handle it. I pray I will never have to use what I have learned here.

Being able to distinguish between the varying degrees of the stages. What are the timelines between the stages?

I just read something in my German information paper about research in the USA and I am all excited.. The University of South Fl , my Alma Mater, has just found some exciting information about a protein, called Microliacells that seem to attack the plaque in the brain that can lead to AD. . and so to speak eat it up or kill it. There is a machine translation of the report, which I received in German...below the ------------ line..I would call the University of Fl to see what exactly they found and get in on the research...if I lived in Fl still. But it does sound a bit exciting. This protein GM -CSF is already available in a form of medicine that is now used for people suffering from Cancer...so it is available and the researchers are wanting to try it this year, (2010?? or early next year, not sure) on Alzheimer's patients. Oh, I pray that this is something that can help our loved ones, and that it is very quickly available.....especially for you younger folks in the early stages. Scientists at the University of South Florida have found that rheumatoid arthritis patients have a reduced risk of Alzheimer's with. The reason for this is a cycle occurring in their blood protein.It seems that the ]Mi This protein is called "GM-CSF" and is in the body as a result of the inflammatory process in the joints are released. It called to speak the body's "garbage" on the plan, ie, special cells, the microglia are called to be active through this form of inflammation and plaques in the brain to the access, Alzheimer's disease can lead to one. The good news is that the protein GM-CSF exists in at a cancer drug has proven form. Thus, the researchers this year attempts to Alzheimer's patients still lead. They hope that the performance of the brains of Alzheimer's patients can be improved by protein transfer. And thanks to Maryland Gal, here is more info on the above... Here are a few links for more info on that...at least a little bit of hope.. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38956888/ http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/09/100901132144.htm http://insciences.org/article.php?article_id=9434 http://www.nytimes.com/2010/09/02/health/research/02alzheimer.html There are more if you do a Google search on the words: cancer drug protein alzheimer

Excellent and very helpful clarification of the dreadful disease. Thank you! I pray the Lord sends many kind and compassionate 'angels' to assist those afflicted. Let us not forget the many family members who suffer along with them. I hope someone warm and generous will be by my side when my turn comes along.

I'm young, just reaching 40 but show some of the early signs. It is very frustrating to know exactly what is going on with me. I am under a lot of stress and suffer from depression. Its hard to tell what is really going on with me. The early stages fit so well, unfortunately, but is it really that. The article was simple to read and understand since i get confused easily. Thank you.

A good overview

Moderate stage really needs to be subdivided into many more subdivisions in order to be helpful. Caring for my 85 year old wife of 57 years has taught me to watch for small persistent changes. "When did she stop recognizing me?" "When did she stop recognizing her own home?" "When did she start thinking she was a young girl?" "When did she lose her normal social inhibitions?"

This explains some of my symptoms. Did I just say that? hope not..

This seems to describe it. But I don't have this problem.

This is explains some of my symptoms.

I just lost my mother to Alzheimer's on Sept. 6, and I would like to see if anyone, including the experts, would please comment or discuss "silent aspiration". My mother's Alzheimer's came on very late in her life, at least the more serious ravages, so I do feel blessed she lived a fairly long life, in fairly good health. I am aware of many of the debilitating problems that can occur, including the swallowing problem. It never occurred to me, however, she would not be able to cough if food or liquids were going down the wrong way. I just didn't realize the reflex of coughing would be lost, too. Of course I blame the nursing home for not being more on top of this problem, since an Alzheimer's unit is SUPPOSED to have specialized training, but that is yet another story for another time. We had known since June (nursing home included) she was beginning to have difficulty with swallowing, but NO ONE mentioned silent aspiration until she was nearly gone. I don't want any of you to be surprised by this complication as I was, so that is why I'm asking for comments and discussion. Also, I want you all to be aware of just how fast this disease can progress for some (and I realize it can last for years for others). My mother had just turned 90 in July, and she had been a bit forgetful for some years. Just about 3 or possibly 4 years ago, she became much more forgetful, so I kept closer watch on her. Then in February of this year, I had to put her in that nursing home, against everything I ever wanted to do, but for her safety, I had to. Beginning in June, it has been the most horrific downhill slide I've ever seen. Please love them while they are here, which we did with my mom, but I never would have told you this would have ended as soon as it did. Please, please be aware, and hopefully someone will add comments as to what to watch for regarding silent aspiration. Although, other than a feeding tube, I'm not sure much can be done, but that is why I'm asking for information. We did not feel mom could survive a feeding tube surgery, by the way.....so we did not want to put her through that. Thank you!

Gave me a pretty clear picture of what stage of Alzheimers my Mom was in. Thanks, Millie

I love this site, read and compare with my life and my loved ones illness. Husband 58 with dementia. Thank you everyone for sharing, it really helps to know I am not alone.

Mom was diagnosed as severe Alzheimer's by her neurologist. She exhibits the majority of the symptoms listed for Severe/Late-Stage Alzeimer's in your article. I'm concerned about the time she has left with us.

Descriptions of specific behaviors.

I liked the fact that this article listed things to look for and things that shouldn't be dissmissed as "getting old". It was very helpful to me.

I would like to supplement my previous comment; concerns medication. My wife's physician first prescribed 5 mg Aricept; then increased it to 10 mg. after her tia in 2006. After her surgery and being diagnosed with "senile dementia" in 2009, another physician prescribed 5 mg Namenda twice daily. In questioning the doctor about the switch from Aricept to Namenda, I was told the Namenda is for the end stage of life. I can see no improvement or change in her cognitive function or socializing. Consequently, I would not rely too much on medicine to slow or ward off this condition. As such, my wife is now under home Hospice care where she will remain until the end.

Segment on Late Stage Alzheimer's pretty well hits right at home for me. My wife was placed in a Nursing Home after surgery for rehabilitation. Okay in Florida. Moved to North Carolina to be with family. Wife placed in Nursing Home there where she was routinely neglected and mistreated. Removed her after 39 days and brought her home. She's now kept clean and loved by her caring family; but declining. Now, no speaking or reaction to television soap opera or family conversations. I guess 45 years of marriage is the best I can hope for with this wonderful woman.

In reading the symptoms of Alzheimer's, I must have had it since I was a teenager.

This article is a great help in knowing the stages of AD and what to look for.My husband is in late early stage going into mid stage. He had a stroke in Janurary and then cataract surgery in March. THEN the docotrs told us that anesthetic excellerates AD symptoms. I wish we had known before hand. I am having trouble determining the diff. between the Aphasia caused by the stroke in January and Aphasia caused by AD. My husband keeps saying "when I get well". On one hand he knows he has AD but, on the other hand he expects to get well. His catistrophic episodes are coing more frequently. I have to be so careful to not upset him. It is hard. And I know it will get harder. Cudos to all of you dealing with this terrible disease. LouiseB

I lost my daddy 2 years ago to AD after 8 years in nursing care. Now my mother-in-law is in the moderate stage of this disease. I feel as if I am in a bad dream that is repeating itself over and over. I feel for my husband and my father-in-law. Don't know if I can go through this again!

Knowing the "stages" of AD is helpful. I want to know what to expect so that I can be prepared. My husband is in Early stage and leaning into middle stage. As stated in the article he does not have all of the symptoms. But he does have many of them. I am going to print the article out and use it as a guideline.

Helped me to analize my own problems.

Matrix Educational Center offers courses and CEU's on Alzheimers. They are located at 2120 West Colonial Drive, Orlando, Fl 32804. (407) 420-2125; www.cnatrainingorlando.com

My mom can not stop making the same sound over and over. This is making her choke on her food n drinks. Please help Nessa

I am quite scared that I might have early stages of Alzheimer's.I am 59yrs old and will be 60 in Dec.I do have memory laspes and sometimes lose my train of thought.I feel scared that I might lose myself altogether.The article sounded too familiar.

My mom is gone now from cancer. However, she had Alzheimers and it was really difficult. She was a very proper and elegant lady before but after getting Alzheimers, I could not get her to take a bath. She was like a child acting like she did but we knew she didn't. Finally when I took her to the hospital for bleeding, I had to tell her the nurses needed to bathe her to get the blood off. She agreed. After that she loved getting cleaned up. One thing I did learn was if they say something that doesn't make sense or you know it is wrong, don't argue with them. Just agree with whatever they say because it only confuses them more.

Knowing what to watch for in the final stages. He is falling more now, but still goes wherever I go, to church, the beach, etc. He has a hard time communicating with words. The right ones just don't happen. He is obsessed with going to the bathroom. If he doesn't go at least twice a day, he thinks he's constipated. It ain't fun.

I wish to thank you for the information that you have posted tonight about Alzheimer's Disease. As, what you have written and the symptoms that my mother has been having seem to match exactly. Her doctor is too busy to diagnose the problem. Do you know of any good doctor's in the Alzheimer's field in the Needham, Massachusetts area that actually will spend the time getting their facts straight?

How does one go about getting a diagnosis for Alzheimer? Can it be dementia or is that Alzheimers grouped under dementia? I have just in the past few months put 2and 2 together and realized that things are not the same and am very concerned..it makes things worse when I make suggestions or correct things he has done...I know he is scared and he doens't like to admit anything may be amiss. I don't know how to approach him and on top of that and the reason Ididn't pick up on change more quickly is that his hearing is bad now too, so I was blaming a lot on that.

yes it was. I can see my husband in both the middle and final stages. Only God knows when our time is up.

what sign to look for was helpful

I like how it breaks it into steps..

thank you redhatprincess for your thoughtful advice. and thank you caring.com for all the wonderful information on this site.

I found this website to be very useful and informative.

Yes, it helped me see how far along my husband is, and let me send the info to my close relatives who live far away. I live in Germany and they in the US. It helps them be more understanding of some of my conversations with them about my problems.....thank you. Charlotte Kimm

Red Hen, I struggled with this and, I suppose, every caregiver does. What I finally realized was this. When I was caring for my son as a small child, I had to do what was best for him, not necessarily what he wanted. If I did what he wanted, he would have eaten hot dogs and ice cream for every meal and would never have gone to bed. With the elderly who are suffering from dementia, it is not possible to always do what they want and still do what is best for them. Part of the role of caregiver is learning to strike a balance when possible. In my opinion, we have a duty to do what we can to provide a safe environment for our loved ones and, sometimes, that will mean doing something that they may not want at the time. If you approach them with love and respect (even when they aren't returning it), in time they may come to an acceptance of the changes that are needed. But, even if they don't, I feel we must do what we can to protect them from harm. That is just one reason for each of us to do an advance medical directive (or the equivalent in your state) while we still have our minds. Doing that acknowledges that the day may come when we can't do for ourselves what needs to be done. When my MIL asked me to be her power of attorney about six years before her Alzheimer's became obvious, she told me that she knew her sons would not be able to do what needed to be done when the time came. We talked about what she wanted while she could still give her consent and so, when the time came, I was able to move forward with living arrangements (assisted living and, later, nursing home), knowing that was what she trusted me to do for her.

Thank you redhatprincess. I will try that. What I struggle with is this: Where is the line? -- I want to respect mom's independence and her decision to NOT see doctors but at what point do I have the responsibility to do the thing she resists? When do my siblings and I override mom's wishes, especially given the real possibility that it will damage our relationship with her?

My 80 years old mother in law who still lives alone and is not ready to come live with us, is experiencing most of the symptoms you have described in this article. It confirms our thoughts, but she has not been diagnosed because she has refused to go for testing as people think she is "crazy" and she says all that she has is a memory problem and forgetfulness which everyone has her age. She has a will and durable power of attorney drawn up, we just do not know how to approach her and get her to see she needs help without totally destroying her feeling of trust in us. What do we do?

My mother is in stage 3. It was helpful to note that all the changes I have observed are "normal". My dad is in late stage 1 or early stage 2, which I think was brought on by a stroke. They are both in a nursing home but cannot be in the same room because they hit each other! They can't even sit together at meals because my dad hoardes his food in his mouth and then sneezes it all over the other diners--he sits alone. My heart grieves for them.

Red Hen, if you have your mother's medical power of attorney, you can call her physician's office and tell them that you need to have her assessed for Alzheimer's but she is unwilling to be tested. Then, get her to the doctor under any pretense you can get her to agree to. Maybe it's time for a regular check up or close enough that you can use that as your excuse. That worked for me with my husband and my mother-in-law. Our family doctor cared for both for around 30 years so we had a long-term relationship. Hope this helps.

very helpful. I fear that my mother has Alzheimer's but there's no way she will agree to see a doctor about it.

How would I know if I were getting it myself. Both my Father and Grandmother died from it.

My mother is 92 and healthy except for dimentia and suffering a tia that affected her language. From this she recovered well and when she cant find the word she wanted searches for another and pronounces it with vigor, as though she is aggrevated. Short term memory is a complete loss but she has never been diagnosed with alzheimers, just a form of dimentia. I did not know that a pet scan would tell you within 95% yes or no. I am wondering whether it is necessary to get a diagnosis. I would like to attach a name to what I am caring for....but should I see a new Dr. and is a pet scan advised?

I learned that my mother is either in the middle or late stage of Alzheimer's.

My father had 3 strokes while in his 60's. He is 76 now, and has conquered colon cancer, broken hip and broken ribs. I am very concerned about is memory. He depends totally on my mother. Does not like going anywhere or being around alot of people, doesn't knw how to operate the TV remote (which he once was a master at!!), and does not know how to use a computer anymore. His long term memory is incredible; however some story details are different from actual event. Sometimes, he sees things that aren't there. The doctor doesn't seem too concerned but my mother feels like we should contact a neurologist. Does anyone have other suggestions?

Just placing my client and my uncle in stages will help me understand what's going on and what to expect. I was somewhat concerned because I have had symptoms of stage one since grade school...lol. I just consider it being a "ditz". I wonder if there's any correlation with being absent minded and ditzy and later developing alzheimers...does anyone know?

This article was a good refresher. My husband had brain damage from a severe fall about 3 yesrs prior to a diagnosis of Alzheimer's Disease. Sometimes, I find it difficult to distinguish the difference, especially when paranoia or aggitation are active factors.

Recognizing the "stages" of dementia and that from person to person there may be a large variance. The text is easily understood.

I can understand the reluctance of many to commit to long-term care. These institutions, from what I read, are largely un/quasi-regulated, operated and manned by largely un-to-semi-qualified personnel, and managed with a purely for-profit motive at the expense of the patients' best interest. The desire to "impose" upon children, I feel, is NOT borne of selfishness, but rather is entered into with a "back against the wall" mindset...it becomes the lesser of two evils. What's the answer...I DON'T KNOW? My post-retirement job has me traveling quite a bit. I have to find the right airplane, make the right connections with tight timelines, and navigate through some often-unfamiliar parts of the Country. At 64, I guess I'm doing ok, and I would like to continue my current job as long as I can...it's fun, challenging, and gives me a chance to compete, one-on-one, with folks 20 (plus/minus) years my junior. I've been rather fortunate in this regard. Many of my peers...some older some younger...have permitted themselves to become mentaly untaxed. While retirement is/should be a period of relaxation, it is, nonetheless, imperative that one remains as active as practical. While the onset of Alzheimer's, and other age-related (physical and mental) impairments may be inevitable as father time marches on, it remains, I feel, necessary to "keep the juces flowing" for as long as possible. To those who, through the often-cruel random nature of life, must contend with this terrible disease, I pray for you. Please pray for me that I may be able to enjoy my "declining years" in health.

All the comments are very helpful. It is important for all family members to realize that "senior moments" in memory lapses may be the initial stages of dementia and "A" and that the sufferer will deny anything's wrong. Mood swings from calm to quick aggression, repetitive questions in short time periods, misplaced items, paranoia and difficulty in telling time are sure signs something is wrong. It is necessary for the family to assign someone financial and medical power of attorney as soon as possible. My mother had aggressive mood swings, misplaced items (which she claims were stolen), difficulty in telling time, extremely poor judgement in driving (getting lost in town) and memory lapses. It was necessary to more her into assisted living as no one could monitor her 24 hours a day to keep her in the house and see that she took her meds. She had denied anything was wrong until utility shut off notices came, as she hadn't paid any bills nor cashed her checks. She was relieved to know that she was being taken care of daily but resentful at having her independence curtailed. As time has passed, however, her memory is almost gone, she doesn't recognize any family members, and cannot find the words to speak what she wants to say. She has become very docile, child-like and has a smile for everyone. It has been very hard to see the extremely slow degeneration of her mind and body. Please tell family members that they must recognize these changes and come to an agreement on how best to deal with this disease early on.

My mother is 82 years old and in the early stages of alzheimer's. It's very hard to see her going down so fast. She lives alone however someone must check on her daily to make sure she eats etc. She is still very determined to stay in her home however and there isn't enough money to hire outside help so some of her children must care of her needs. Personal grooming, house cleaning, yard maintenance etc. It is very hard however, she was there for me when I was a child so I will be there for her now.

My mother was Dx last year , but I knew it 2 yrs ago but my other siblings were not "on board" so we had her evaluated and now they are coming to realize this terrible disease. The problem now is she is pitting one sibling against another, and some of my other family members are "taking her word" and it's becoming a huge problem, we may not speaking terms when this is over. She asked my husband and me to take over her finances, because she overdrew her checking acct., would missplace bills, etc, she blamed my other sister on her overdraw, and thought she was stealing money from her acct., now she is telling my family we have taken everything away from her, then she tells us she is so glad we are helping her and she really needs for us to take over her checkbook, so I copied this article and will mail to my sisters that are not accepting this is part of the disease.

It's incredibly sad yet reassuring to see that other people truly have felt the way my family has felt. My grandmother was always quirky. She was never to be crossed, she was horrendously stubborn and never let go of things. When I was pregnant with my daughter who's about to turn ten my cousins and I started noticing that it was no longer her quirkyness that made family life difficult, she was repeatedly asking the same questions (7 times over the course of about 15 to 20 minutes one day in particular). Calling a key "the thing that unlocks the door". My grandfather, mom and uncle were in denial. My grandparents didn't get along much but he was ALWAYS there for ALL of us as he thought it was his duty. She made demands and he felt it was his duty to make them happen. It wasn't until after she had gone on many nonsensical tirades (not to be believed) that they started suggesting she see a Dr. (something she was TOTALLY against since "A" was a made up disease"). Finally a tirade led to a panic attack and thankfully my uncle suggested at the perfect moment that he take her to the Dr., she agreed. She had "A". They didn't tell her that, she'd already expressed "there was no such thing". They told her that her pills (aricept and something to keep her from losing control all the time) were to treat her for dehydration and a UTI. My grandfather retired immediately and took care of her 24/7 and my mom and uncle were there every available minute to give him a break. They did this for FIVE long years till one day after being repeatedly hit by my grandmother and two very frightening times when she walked out the door when he dozed off watching tv, he decided that for both her health and safety and his, it couldn't go on. As against it as they all were, my mom and uncle had decided about 6 months earlier it was nearing time to look into a nursing facility, they were seeing their father decline in health from dealing with her. My grandmother had far worse health issues during her final months at home than needing a diaper all of which he dealt with. She's been in the nicest facility they could find for five and half years now. In that time only two days has she gone without a visitor. Those two days were extreme incidents, so to the nurse I say you seem disgruntled and need a new job. Not EVERYONE falls into the category you speak of although I know some do, but clearly you are unhappy in your job. Find a new one. My family has been an incredible example to all of us younger and to everyone on here I commend you for dealing with all that "A" makes you suffer through.

Redhatprincess, thank you for agreeing with me. I do believe they are Americas finest generation but also very hard headed. They lived through very hard times, the depression and WWII, and I think it left them scarred and very frugal. Another thing I know is they are not whiners and they are tough as nails. My parents don't say much about the depression and my Dad doesn't talk about the war much. He was on a ship going to Japan when Japan surrendered. You are right about people living longer. If I were guessing most people their age did not have to deal with aging parents. My Mothers parents died relative young (60's) she didn't have to see them dwindle away and lose all their pride and self respect. She would not have taken care of them anyway, her excuse would have been "I have a job, I can't sit with them all day." My Dads parents died in their 80's and 90's, but he did not live close and it fell to his sister. She put Grandma in a nursing facility and went everyday to check on her. Grandpa died before Grandma at home. Like I said in my earlier post my Mother has a terrible bedside manner. Her compassion is only in words not actions. I am not sure what my parents expect, they have never talked about it. I do know they have no long term care insurance nor do they have any life insurance. They do have some money but I don't know if any of us kids could get to it if we needed to. My Mom won't put any of our names on the accounts. My Mom said one time that her daughter-in-law would be the one she could "depend" on. (My Mom and I have never been friends she is jealous of my Dad and the relationship we share.) Daughter-in-law is no longer in the family, so my Mom is stuck with me unfortunately for both of us. I am the only girl. I also think they have not done a good job of making their last wishes known. Last fall I finally did talk them into buying their grave plots. We also went and looked at caskets, but my Mother did not want me around to pick out a casket or discuss any arrangements, go figure. I am 57 years old and not a child. I really think she believes she is going to live forever. My Dad knows he isn't but every time he mentions what they need to do she just clams up and does nothing. And then there are the times I would like to ring her neck, like today, she went to town and did not tell my Dad where she was going. She was gone 5 hours which is not like her at all. So I start calling this one, that one "have you seen my Mom" I finally went to town and located her at the store sitting on a bench resting up so she could buy groceries. She wouldn't let me help, so it took her another hour to shuffle through the store. She ended up buying the very same things she had a lot of at home. She didn't realize she had been gone that long. It's days like today that I wished that daughter-in-law (the one that ripped her son off and the one that she could depend on) was still around. LOL...

SweetReet, to everything you wrote, I say amen, sister. Have any of you noticed how selfish some members of the greatest generation can be when it comes to the caregiving, aging thing? I can't tell you how many people I have heard say some variation of the following. "I'm not buying long term care insurance. I'm not going to a nursing home. I'm moving in with my son/daughter. I raised them and it will be their duty to take care of me." They are forgetting several things: that the life expectancy is so much greater than it was when they were taking care of their parents and that in so many homes both husband and wife are working full time jobs, raising children and, sometimes, grandchildren. I don't want my children to be burdened with all the decisions about my care when I'm at that point, or burdened with the caregiving itself. I've been through this with both my parents, my husband's parents and his step-father. Not one of them did a thing to prepare for their old age and failing health. If we do the same, then I say, shame on us. Just my opinion.

I just stumbled on this website today and found it to be most interesting and helpful as I to am dealing with elderly parents. One thing I would like to say to those that feel it is their duty to care for their aging parents "because they took care of me" is this. When you are a baby you will outgrow wetting and pooping your pants in a couple of years. Your parents will not, that only gets worse. And there is considerably more to clean up on an adult than an infant. There is hope of being independent for a child and they do grow out of a lot of behaviors but no growing out of it for an aging adult. There is a whole world of difference in taking care of a child and taking care of an adult that is like a child. I can assure you my child was never allowed to talk to me the way my Mother talks to me now. I am not so sure that she doesn't know what she is saying when she goes on one of those terrors. I think it gives her an excuse to behave that way some times. I do try and help my parents as much as I can. I take them to all the doctor appointments, because neither remember why they are going and what the doctor says. My Mother has memory lapses so I am sure she is in the early stages of alzheimer's, but like most people her age they don't admit they have anything wrong. She might jokingly say "I'm losing it" but she doesn't really believe it. If I agree with her she gets mad at me. My brother who is 4 years older than I sees them everyday and does not see how fast they are failing. I see them once or twice a week and see the decline every time I go. But at this stage in my life and theirs I am not sure what I would do with them. My Dad is 87 and Mother is 86. I know they would not want to be in a nursing facility, but my house and theirs is not elderly friendly. Stairs to climb and small doors, no facilities for handicap people. Neither parent will tell me and my 2 brothers what their estate consist of and who is the administrator. I know they don't have a living will in place cause my Mother thinks she is going to live forever. Frankly I hope and pray they die in their sleep peacefully and we won't be faced with having to make some of the decisions that are not pleasant. Don't get me wrong I love my parents but my Mother can be a handful. She never had a very good bedside manner when I was a kid and I am not sure mine will be very good when it comes to 24/7 care. I just hope I don't have to put it to the test. But I know guilt is a very big problem for most people me included but I think to be realistic most people are not equipped to take care of an aging alzheimer patient. I know I don't have the skills and knowledge and stamina to do it.

den942, I can really relate to your post. When my MIL came to live with us in 2002, before we had an Alzheimer's diagnosis, we spent hours looking for things she had lost. She would hide her purse and it would sometimes take me a couple of hours to find it. She also would have angry outbursts. It was actually a relief to have a name for the disease that took her personality away.

I'm 59 and have been in this situation for years. My mother died from Alzheimer's. My kids don't even seem to realize how old I am much less anything else. Everyday life: At this stage, they're easily confused and distracted. They may find it hard to keep track of the time and miss appointments or favorite TV programs. Abstract thinking and making sound judgments become more difficult. They may lose the initiative to partake in activities that were once pleasurable (hobbies, a job) or routine (cooking, writing checks). They may misplace objects regularly or store them in unusual places, then forget where they put them.

I just want to say thanks to all of you for sharing! I finally feel like i can relate to others. My Mom is 65,she is in end stage renal failure and she has just been diagnosed with bipolar and we are waiting for her nueropschyc tests to come back,the doc thinks she has dementia and so do we. Mom can have some huge mood swings and become very mean and angry.This summer when i told her she was not supposed to drive she got so amd at me tnat she drove her car intome and pinned me in between 2 vehicles and then fled the police in a high speed chase!! Life has been so crazy for us the last 2 years! I love Mom dearly and it is so hard to see her like this! My heart goes out to all who can relate! Thanks!

You need to talk to the doctor. There are some drugs that can be helpful - Aricept and Namenda were helpful with my MIL. There may be others as well. Persist with the doctor until you find something that works.

My mother is 88 and my dad is 90. Mother is scheduled for neurological eval the end of the month. She has been diagnosed with mild cognitive disorder and is in complete denial that there is anything wrong with her memory of course. Added frustration is that she has trouble with her eyes and along with reading something over and over she can't see it very well. She has had increasingly aggressive behavior and is paranoid. She at times can be seemingly somewhat normal but that doesn't last very long before something or someone disrupts this.The stage she is at is very hard on my Dad and they argue over even the littlist thing. She feels like everyone is against her and that she is all alone which makes me very sad as we are trying to do all we possibly can to be helpful but often our help is refused. We are very concerned for my Dad's health as living with this 24/7 is taking it's toll. Mom is on a mild dose of Aricept. It does seem to help a little but am wondering if it really is benefical. Any suggests regarding the aggressive behavior and how others have dealt?

It is heartbreaking to have to place my beloved 57 year old brother in a nursing home, but he is on a waiting list. He smokes one cigarette after another. I and my older sister are allergic to cigarette smoke and cannot live around it so we can't move in with him. My baby sister is raising three grand children - the youngest 4 months old. There are only four of us. So the only thing I know to do is to get him a room where there are people who can help him take care of himself and supervise the smoking. I'm not sure what stage of the disease he is in, because his doctor has only said that he must be put in a nursing home so he would have 24 hour care. He is not violent. In fact, he does nothing all day long but smoke his ciagretts and watch mostly the weather and nature channels. What scrares all of us is that he goes to sleep with cigarettes in his hand. We are afraid he will catch himself or the house on fire. My parents (who are in their 80's) are still living and it's heartbreaking to see them try and help my brother and them barely able to take care of themselves. I believe now that sometimes the only thing to do is to get them the right kind of help. We want our brother to get better, but the doctor says he won't so we have to make some decisions. This is all new to us, but we already know what devastating results dementia gives to a family's life. Reading what others are going through is helping me cope. Thank you for all your comments and advice. Our prayers go up and God keeps giving us the strength to continue.

It is amazing the stories i have been reading. As i sit hear with my mom,as her caregiver wondering what happen,s next? I realized that we all have a place in this world and a job too do.I am honored to be apart of my mom,s last stages of "A"too be blessed with God,s gift too me even though I lose sight of my blessing sometimes. It is a hard road too travel with or without help. But in the end i know i will have all thoes memories good and bad. May God bless us all with or without patients sometimes.What hurts the most for me is too see my mom in total darkness. She is a very giving and understanding LADY. Always there for anyone be it family or friend or stranger,so for me I have made arrangements for friends too take care of my business. Cause too me my mom and dad are the two people who stood by me good and bad. At ayoung age i knew i would be ther for my parent,s no matter what.I have a very understanding husband. We live 1hr. apart he takes care of his brother who is sick. So we visit when we can.So in reality my mom comes first ,business comes second, husband comes third, that,s how we are coping with thing for now. So I wish all of you the best and accept thoes blessings even thoe sometimes it seems very dark for any of us that is when god lets us see the sunshine again .May God Bless All and pray for our souls.

My father is a mean man in this time in his Alztimer's stage. He is 70. I get really stressed out due to lack of help in the house hold. I get cussed out and most of the time degraded as a woman. It hurts so much that I can not barely stand in anymore. When he talks to my fiance he acts perfectly fine. I am pretty sure it is only towards family members more often. Don't et me wrong I love my father, I am 23 and should not be the only one stressed out about him. He already got lost in 3 counties over at 3 am in the morning. This disease is one stressful disease.

I feel a little guilty that I am glad I am too far away to visit my grandfather at the care center he lives at. My Grandmother feels the same, she cared for him as long as she could, but now, she says, she doesn't visit as often, because often he doesn't know her, and it makes her so sad. Me...I am glad I never had to see him that way, and will always remember the great man that taught me to fish, told me I had eagle eyes, and who passed on his left-handedness to me. Probably selfish of me, but I guess everyone copes however they can.

We are in assisted living. My husband was diagnosed with "A" 6 yrs ago. He was highly intelligent with 3 college degrees. Now he can't write his name. He can't dress himself and needs a walker. I pray he will be able to continue walking and can stay with me until the end. We've been mamrried 62 yrs.

---***---LET'S ALL BE MORE LOVING AND LESS JUDGEFUL---***--- Thank you for the informative article. I'm constantly researching to see where my Mother is in the Alzheimer's disease process and what I can do to help her. My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, about two years ago. Her doctor did not (at first) think she had Alzheimer's disease; he thought she she was depressed. There was no history of dementia in my family, so we were all in denial for a while. Looking back, Mom exhibited symptoms of mild Alzheimer's disease for many years that we thought were personality quirks. She was extremely messy/disorganized around the house, for example, although her house was immaculately clean. She had no specified place for anything, so looking for scissors could take you all over the house, and you may never find them. So we were always looking for things; looking for stuff was just part of the daily routine, and that got worse as she became increasingly forgetful about other things. Cold hard reality sunk in, and we were forced to admit Mom definitely had dementia. Since this is caring.com, let's please try not to accuse people here. Everyone has different abilities and ways of coping. That doesn't make another's way necessarily good or bad! I live 300 miles away from my parents and spend half my time at my parents' home, caring for them (Dad is legally blind, and Mother is in the late-middle stage of Alzheimer's disease) and the other half of my time at home. I alternate months (caring for my parents) with a sister who lives over a thousand miles away from them. But I do not (and we should not) pass judgement on those who are unable to care for their parents. I have another sister who works such hours that she cannot care for our parents, even though she lives in the same area as my parents, but she is a devoted and loving daughter who does what she can for my parents. She is also completely devoted and loving to my parents. She is just not able to care for them on a daily basis as my other sister and I are. Some people cannot handle stress efficiently and some handle it well. Fortunately, I am a retired registered nurse, so I am trained to care for any/all of my parents' needs and have tons of patience and compassion. That doesn't make me a better daughter than other daughters, it just means that I have capabilities to aid me in caring for my parents - and a great system of emotional support. Being self employed and working from my computer helps a lot, too, although my husband has had to take on added responsibilities to help me travel back and forth, as I do. Plus, my husband's attitude is that it's his responsibility to take care of me (although we are equal partners), as it is my responsibility to care for my parents. So I am truly blessed. Without these wonderful blessings, I might not be able to care for my parents, as I do. I will say that, for a while, I was really stressed out, so I started taking an antidepressant to help me cope. Now, my anxiety is at a coping level! But at the time my anxiety level was so high, my Mom's obsessive-compulsive and bipolar disorders were still untreated, and with the Alzheimer's changes, she was in an angry manic state for about 8 days (my youngest sister had taken my father on a trip that my mother refused to take, and my Mother was extremely furious about it). During this awful week, I wasn't sure who was going to have a stroke first - my mother or me, so I resolved to take care of my health, so I could better care for my parents. Now, we're both coping better - my Mom AND me! LOL Mom's psychiatrist increased some of her medication for a while, but now he's tapering her off one medication and greatly reducing the other one, with no ill effects - we wanted to get as much of my Mother back as we could, without her getting into a manic state. She's only been treated for her mental disorders for about the past seven months. She became so confused during a urinary tract infection, that we had to have her hospitalized into a psychiatric ward, and now we have her on psychotropic medication, but Mom never got better, mentally, when the infection was cleared up.... An additional strain on me was that I was having financial problems and worries (due to the economy and helping two stepchildren who were REALLY reeling from the economic upheaval)... Taking the antidepressant has gotten me over the hump. I really needed some help, but I received it - without having a stroke - and am now coping much better! Now that Mom's dementia is increasing rapidly, she often says to me and my sisters, "You're a nice lady. You must have really nice parents." She recognizes that we must have been raised well! She made mistakes along the way, as we all do, but she gave us a solid foundation, values, and lots of unconditional love. It's payback time, my sweet Mom... I always use comments Mom makes, such as this, as a memory tool, so I usually respond by telling her a story about something we did together that demonstrates what a good mother she is/was. Then I'll say, "You know my Mother. Want to know who she is?" She'll reply, "Yes! Who is she?" I'll say, "You!" and give her a big hug. She's always delighted to hear this, because she thinks that my sisters and I are wonderful people, and she experiences the reward of knowing she was a good parent. A big challenge has been my Mom's extreme independence and need to be in control, but we've worked that out nicely. Since she also has rheumatoid arthritis, when she complains that we do too much for her, we'll say, "Mom, I need to help you, so you won't get laid up with your arthritis. Just chill out and let me do this for you. I owe you a lot, Mom." She accepts that (grudgingly!), and it doesn't leave the sting of any implied reference to her needing help, because she can't mentally function... Anyway, let's all have compassion toward one another and not be so quick to judge. We're all in this world together, so we might as well be helpful to one another. Wouldn't it be nice if everyone did this?! I didn't mean to get into a diatribe about this, I just wanted people to know that placing a parent in a nursing home does not make them bad; it's a symptom of our extreme capitalistic society. Most of us are working very hard to survive, while the huge companies running these health facilities are cutting the workforce and increasing their profits. The healthcare system has become VERY IMPERSONAL. I know this for a fact. That's why I retired from nursing abut 8 years ago. I could no longer participate in such a system and feel good about myself as a person... Love to all of you...

I wholeheartedly agree with the last two comments. I put my 88 mother in a care home last year after 6 years of care in her own home with severe dementia. By this stage she was doubly incontinent, had MRSA in her leg, renal failure and was bedridden and spoonfed. I am not a nurse, I work full time and have two teenage daughters and a 3 hour commute to and from work each day. Get in the real world CNA. I did this as a last resort, as the last thing I wanted was for my mother to have to sell the bungalow she loved to live in a small room in a care home surrounded by swearing demented people who disturb her constantly!

I wholeheartdly agree with Redhatprincess's comments to that CNA of a nursing home, and I have a few more......CNA, your comments DO NOT APPLY to everyone. I'm certain there are many people who ARE looking to be rid of their elderly parents, but there are PLENTY of us who have done everything POSSIBLE to care for our moms and dads, and still have to resort to the UGLY confines of nursing homes for the SAFETY and welfare of our loved ones. I have recently had to do that very thing. It breaks my heart ON A DAILY BASIS to have my BELOVED MOTHER at the crappy looking half a room she is now in. I'd much prefer she was totally out of her mind, but she's not all the way there yet. She knows exactly where she is, but has no idea she isn't safe at home any more---can't understand why she can't come home (HEARTRENDING!!). By the way, CNA, I work FULL TIME (HAVE TO, by the way, it's not a choice I'm working), and I am the only girl in my family. I have 3 older brothers who are ALL RETIRED, two of them are married, and I had VERY LITTLE HELP from any of them. It really put them out to come over for 2 hours once a week----how sad is THAT??!! And----they didn't always come over once a week, even!! Do you know what it's like to worry all day long (while at work) whether Mom left her house to find the 'home' that no longer exists, except in her memories??!! Do you know how I had to drive home for lunch every day, hoping upon hope, that Mom was still there, and that she had not set the house on fire, or fallen down the basement stairs, or eaten or drank something that was not ingestible??!! Do you know what it's like to spend your entire waking day blocking your 89 year old mother from bolting out the front door (when you have dishes to do, laundry to wash and sweeping to be done, not to mention going to the grocery store, needing to potty, or getting gas in the car) and all this is happening on your only 2 days off work....Do you HAVE A CLUE, CNA??!! PLEASE, don't judge, because you don't know what may have been happening BEFORE they came to be in your godforsaken nursing home. And, by the way----the nursing home my mother is in is one of the 'nicer' ones, but HOW can you call a drab, semi-private hospital room NICE?? 2 crappy, scratched up night stands are where we put her 'things'. She also has a 'lovely' half-closet for the 'rest' of her 'things'. There isn't even room for a freaking CHAIR in her room----we have to sit on her bed when we visit. And, CNA, do you know how I cry EVERY DAY on my way to see her, and on my way home----did you know that??!! If I sound angry, you can bet I am. I had to do something I said I would NEVER do to anyone I love, and now my most cherished mother is in a NURSING HOME. I'm sick and I'm angry that I cannot get some sort of financial help to KEEP MY MOM HOME. How could it POSSIBLY be cost effective to 'warehouse' people in these high-cost nursing homes, instead of their own homes, where their families love and care for them??!! Anyway, CNA, please reconsider how you say things in the future---add a word like "some people", and be sure you KNOW what "some" of them REALLY are feeling and doing.

I read with disbelief the anonymous post from the certified nursing assistant who said "I am horrified at the fact that most of the elderly people in our nursing homes are there for the reason of the children that they gave birth raised and watched over have no time to do the same for them." You should be ashamed of yourself. Unless you have cared for someone you love dearly, in your own home, 24/7 month after long month, you are in no position to judge.

My mother had the classic symptoms and progression of the disease. I remember it starting with her needing to use a dictionary to spell works when she wrote her friends, then objects names left her than the nouns got mixed up. Find a University or Hospital that is doing Alzheimer's research and donate your loved ones brain to them. They take care of all the details and even will give you a report of their findings. They need them to do more research on the disease. Help them to help us !! We thought our Mom would laugh at the idea of her brain being donated to science. :)

I have a dear friend whose Mother, Aunts, Grandmother - 7 family members in total all have/had Alzheimers. He is anxious, understandbly, and confirms writing down everything so he can remember in case he forgets. He is a very young 71 active, healthy man. anyone know of genetic links?

I lit a candle in honor of my Mother and Aunt Louise who passed away from Alzheimers and my dear friend Dot who is still with us and suffers.I'd like to share a little something I wrote for Dot a while back.I was her part-time care-giver from March,2009 until recently when I had to make a grueling decision to leave for my own emotional health as I found my-self getting too attached and could not go through losing her on my watch like I did with my own mama who died in my arms outside the hospital.Well here it is ...A Day With Dot...written on 4/28/2009...As you all know I am a part-time caregiver for a sweet little lady named Dot.She is a dear lady and so funny.She actually laughs at my jokes and loves a good story;especially if it's about me.She really loves me;on the days that she recognizes me.She especially likes it when I put my sunglasses on her BEFORE I turn on the light.Each morning I've had to get her up(on the handful of occasions her daughter let her sleep)she's always had a beautiful smile for me and I say something funny to get her tickle bug going.She's got such a sense of humor.I wonder what she was like before her Alzheimers started robbing her mind.I know the person I've gotten to know is funny ,witty,silly but also lost scared and sad.I can read her moods and usually figure out what she's trying to express when her mind has left her at a loss for words.Some days are better than others .I know how very hard it's going to be to lose her when the time comes but am also thankful for being given the gift of this precious friendship. Yesterday was bittersweet...(April 27th)I put her on my sunshades and told her "I see that beautiful smile!"She said "yeah I know."She let me get her ready for her day .I got her to the living room and situated in her recliner ;poured her a glass of OJ and ice then asked if she wanted pancakes or oatmeal.She said oatmeal so I made it with butter and brown sugar like Katie likes it(my daughter),along with some toast and liver mush.She would not touch that oatmeal;and so began our day!I put ti aside and let her work on her liver mush and toast while I made her a pretty good size pancake.She drank 3 glasses of milk,ate ALL of her liver mush and that pancake was half gone before I could wash the bowl that oatmeal was in.I guess she MEANT pancake ;huh?!She took all her morning medicine like a real trooper except this one capsule(time-release-something or another).I don't fully know what they are because the doctors keep changing them.I finally got her to take that pill when I gave her some pedialite.(Koolaid:))Lunch didn't go much better.I baked her some fish (WHICH SHE LOVES)She said"I aint eating that stuff;it don't look like nothin'."The baked beans that went with the meal were AWFUL and the applesauce was just 'alright'.She ate 4 bites of applesauce;spit a handful of beans and tucked them in her apron and the fish didn't get touched.I never did find those doggone beans!I finally got her to eat the beans by putting some brown sugar in them(that was like magic!)and she almost finished them...(missisng beans too?)After lunch we got down to business...a trip to clean up and use the facilities...and safely back to the living room.We broke out the dr.Seuss"There's a Wocket in my Pocket","Green eggs and Ham",and "Are you My Mother?"That was fun! She Loves her stories!Throughout the course of our day she was real whiny.If I left her sight for more than a minute it was "Hey You!","Come Here!...I need you a minute...hurry up!" I of course obliged her;kissed her forehead often and attempted to comfort her throughout the course of my day through several attempts to(try as I may)do laundry,dishes and just try to make that bed!I was running back and forth trying to keep her in good spirits while attempting to finish my work.I finally relented and sat back down for a whole hearted attempt at reading(one more time) "Are You My Mother".I put my last ounce of energy ,patience and enthusiasm into the effort with a reward of giggles;oh my gosh's and plenty of sidelines to each page and by the end of the story we were both content...her for getting my undivided attention and me for finally soothing her enough to give her the book to read (to herself)while I finally got to go make that bed!At least she was happy when I left for home.......this was an ordinary day like so many other days that I spent with this dear lady and those of you out there that have a loved one or care for a person with Alzheimers already know the dreadfulness of this disease...as many days are not so fulfilling as we'd all like them to be when caring for someone we love.The most heartbreaking part is to stand by helplessly watching your loved one deteriorate form one minute to the next...some days worse than others.It's natural to feel overwhelmed when taking care of someone you love when all you can do is tend to their physical needs and the rest kinda just takes on a life of it's own.There were days when Dot couldn't remember how to raise an eating utensil to her mouth or how to swallow in order to eat so a lot of reminders and encouragement are always necessary.All we can do is the best we know how and above all LOVE them when they forget how.

my mother has alzheimers an she is 91 yrs old i am taking care of her at home i have my husband an son who also help she is able to work her puzzle books an she will wash my dishes for me i have to remind her to use soap i also work ay a nursing home with alzheimers patients,so am on the jod 5 day's a week .i said momma would not go in a nursing home if i can help it because she raised me now it is my turn to help her. my dad passed away 3 yrs ago next month an i promised him i would take care of her when he was in the hospital in oct 5 months before he passed. i have to help her take a bath, she still can dress her self an walk but sometimes she doesn't know me her daughter i have to tell her it is me an she will laugh . she doesn't remeber her sisters but we manage to make the 2 hr trip for her family renunion an for a breif moment she knows them. the hardest part was when my dad passed she didn't know it was him an will still ask for him . i am a only child i am in it for the long haul . i love my mom she is my life line since my dad passed .

My heart goes out to all of you caring for loved ones suffering from dementia. I have worked for 4 years caring for people with Alzheimer's, and the best part about it is seeing the small miracles that they can accomplish everyday. Even the smallest task, like remembering the right word to use or brushing their own hair is a major accomplishment to them. I know it is painful watching someone you love suffer so bad, but if you can just take it for what it is and find the little things to smile about it makes the day to day struggle a little easier to bear. I commend all of you for the sacrifices you have to make to your life in order to care for the ones who are suffering. There is a special place in heaven for you! And to the cna, i can understand you being upset, I have worked in nursing homes too, but do remember that not every person in a nursing home was just dumped there. Sometimes the best thing for a person suffering from dementia is to be placed in a home, for their safety and for their families sanity and well being. Not everyone has the ability to hire full time care or to completely take care of them 24 hours a day. And if it wasn't for people needing a little extra help, you wouldn't have a job! so count your blessings

My mother had dimentia(Alzheimers) but we didnt realize it due to other health problems that were more major and we just thought her odd behavior was because she was too old. Once we realize that Alzheimers disease starts slowly until you are thrown into a world of conflict. If nursing home, if sister or brother could care for her. What financial resouces are available. Luckily, my mother had her savings and when she move into my sisters house, we used her savings for caretakers while my sister was at work or needed a break. She was a real saint. My mother in-law was not so lucky, where the family argued who would care for her but do nothing but argue. She signed all her assets to one son, who wasnt around much, while everyone was concern but since they had no authority or want to do the cost* So I called Senior protective services to look into this. And once the investigation started, within a month she was put into a caretakers home full time. Now someone is caring for her and the family can't argue about it anymore. The one son didn't want an investigation on her funds I think. Thats ashame it went to that after over 3 years of delay.

I am a certified nursing assistant. I am horrified at the fact that most of the elderly people in our nursing homes are there for the reason of the children that they gave birth raised and watched over have no time to do the same for them. From experience these people are not only mobile and just need to be loved. They are placed in these homes simply because the families donnot want to take the time to help. I have seen our mothers fathers grandparents sisters brothers die a lonely death with only a nusre that he would have never been in his life if the families acyually cared. It mortifies me to know that our society does this to our loved ones. I know this may not apply to every1 but for me i really feel that if you would take the time to do half as much as our parents done for us then we would all be better. For all of you that know what I am talking about all the long stressful heartbreaking days I am truley amazed and belive you are angels.....for you that don't care I hope someone will take care of you when its your time

My grandmother had Alzheimer's disease so it was surprising when we didn't notice the early signs in my mom. I think we just didn't want to see them. We were fortunate that my sister lived with my mom and I lived close by. We took care of her and slowly began to notice the signs. When my sister got married my mom didn't want to leave her home. I would go to work, visit my family for supper and a quick visit, and then head The following year my oldest daughter got married and we decided to move mom in with us the night of the wedding. This worked well since we had her out of her home and just moved her in. She has been with us going on four years. She is now in the late stages of the disease. When you decide to keep your loved one at home everyoe offers support when and if you need it. The fact is everyone is busy and you can get help but not as often as you would think. My youngest daughter graduated from NYU and my husband had to miss her colleges graduation because we couldn't get someone to sit with mom. Luckily, he was able to attend the university graduation. Cost has played a part in who sits with her. We also use family members just because it seems less usetting to her. My husband, my youngest daughter, and I rotate her caregiving. I would like to see money provided to families who choose to keep their loved ones at home rather than put them in a facility. I would also like to see a study on keeping AD patients at home vs their care and longevity when placed in a facility. As a family we will keep her with us until it is absolutely inpossible to care for her. This is our choice. It is good to read comments and caregiving suggestions. I know the 10 New Year's Resolutions helped me to realize that some of the emotions and lack of patience I am feeling are not uncommon. I also know that we are providing quality care for my mom and the wonderful(unrecognizable to her) lady in the morror that she talks to daily.

My Mother passed away on Hospice about 2 weeks a go. The doctors diagnosed Mother with end stage dementia (Alzheimer's) and recommended Hospice. I am not second guessing myself as to whether Hospice was or was not the correct path to take. I'd appreciate insight from others.

I have been taking care of my husband for over 5 years now. I have hired people recently, however that is an very high expense. I can honestly tell you I have not gone to just "look" in the stores or malls for more than 3 years. His condition is worse.There is no assistance unless you have plenty of resources to pay for it.. So we keep going and I now have a one sided marriage. I know all the wonderful years we had and he doesn't even know who I am. So there is no easy answer or any real solution to burnout.

This article was very informative. My Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers' in June 2007. He has had a somewhat slow progression so far. He loves to work Seek n Find puzzles. I encourage him to stay busy and active.

After having carotid artery bypass surgery my husband remained with short term memory. The doctors (4 different individuals) have said he has anything from mild cognitive behavior to the beginning of alzheimer disease. How is this possible, when he was perfectly fine prior to the surgery. Thank you ....llb5657@aol.com

I found your article to be very informative. I knew quite a bit of it but after reading it I feel more aware of the disease. I am getting older myself and to be honest I really going to look for all the mentioned signs. I do have , which I felt were the early signs and am on Aricept for precautions, which I thought, but obviously was mistaken. I really, after reading the advanced stages am quite upset over the thought of it. I guess it a wait and wonder situation.